The ideological Capture of Psychotherapy

[NotHavingIt]

A scray, and deeply concerning, piece by James Esses in which he recounts his attendance at a recent conference on Existential psychotherapy.

https://open.substack.com/pub/jamesesses/p/the-ideological-capture-of-psychotherapy?r=clsg2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

Everywhere we go people tell my husband he looks like Harrsion Ford; in fact we had one slightly uncomfortable experience in Rome last year with this resally drunk Italian guy who was utterly fixated on him.

Really

😂😂
Did he dive under all the restaurant tables, reaching back to grab the hat that had fallen off his head and make his escape from the drunken man?

Menopause does not affect all bodies, FFS! It affects around half of all bodies. Specifically, the female half.

No, he went all bashful and posed for a photo with him. He was a nuisance, though, and we eventually had to leave ( we were sitting outside of our favourite enoteca).

This is a really interesting point.

I've never had therapy myself but some of my close friends have had a lot of it, and a common theme seems to be "don't rely on others for your happiness". Sometimes the therapist will suggest, or encourage the person to consider, that having certain people in their lives is not conducive to their mental health. So they may decide to end a relationship or a friendship, or go low or no contact with a family member. Or if the therapy is about an issue which affects that person's relationships more generally (as opposed to with specific individuals) then the therapist sometimes helps them to come up with strategies to overcome that. But the common theme is that it is up to the individual to take control of their own life, and either find ways of being more resilient with regard to other people in general, or avoid certain people who have a negative effect on their mental health.

The therapist would never tell the person concerned that everyone else in their life needed to adjust their behaviour, because the therapist has no control over that, and suggesting to the person concerned that this should/can/might happen would be setting them up for inevitable disappointment.

Similarly, any therapist helping someone explore their gender identity should be helping them find ways of being more resilient in the face of non-believers, because they are going to come into contact with non-believers whether that be their childhood friend, their brother in law or their boss, rather than telling them that of course they are a man/woman/non-binary person and that society needs to accept this.

@NotHavingIt I came back on this thread to say that I watched Regretters last night.

That was a great recommendation, thank you.

It was fascinating how the two men interviewed each other. Their different viewpoints on why they transitioned and subsequently detransitioned really came through. As did their sensitive, yet critical approach, where they held each other to account and probed the others' views, in a respectful but challenging way.
It very aptly highlights the failings of the psychotherapy profession to follow this enquiring approach, by starting with the premise that gender identity is fact and social justice oppression needs to be at the core.
By contrast, their questions to each other were about the personal view of oneself from within.

Yes, I'm glad you appreciated that. I've watched it a couple of times, myself.

There was ( not sure if still available?) another programme on Netflix called ' La Petite Fille' - which documents the transition of a young boy, in France.

Another sensitive portrayal - but what struck me, personally, quite forcefully was the way in which the mother admitted that she very much had wanted a little girl ( but got a little boy).

I've just had a look and sadly it's no longer on Netflix but I'll try and find a way to watch that too. Thank you.

When I googled it, one of the first things that came up was the Guardian review. Unsurprisingly, they had a very different take on it - they see it as validation of an affirmation approach.

It's intriguing that the parents' bias that you picked up (similar to Jackie Green's dad, although different in so far as he didn't seem to want a gay boy) wasn't picked up at all in the review. It really does show how the lens of gender identity as belief versus fact changes everything from a psychological understanding perspective. In both the case of this mum and Jackie Green's dad, it was a welcome solution to a problem. They just couldn't see that because they either did believe or wanted to believe in gender identity.

Regarding the two Swedish men, I found it interesting that Orlando was happy with the idea that he was a man now but also that someone could be physically neither male or female (where this was his suggestion to Michael as a way to be at peace with himself), while still being a man. By contrast, Michael was adamant that he couldn't be a man again until he had his penis "back". Although Michael did now "identify" as a man, while waiting to "become a man".

This was particularly interesting in a way to unpick the cognitive dissonance of how to acknowledge a physical reality alongside a fervent belief that is effectively the opposite of that reality. I hadn't seen it discussed in that way before. Very thought provoking.

Guardian review

Orlando was more naturally gender non conforming - being a quite feminine, fine boned, gay man - and as you say now happy to exist in a liminal state, while still accepting he was a man/male. Basically, what drove his transition was the desire to be loved, and in a way that he thought women were loved, at a time when homosexuality was still a taboo.

Michael was still quite a troubled person, I feel. Very much still bound to gender stereotypes, and seemingly unable to separate them out from his self expression. He had had a childhood experience of men being to be feared, and violent. I got the impresion he was at the autogynephilic end of the 'trans spectrum'.

I think a lot of men must imagine it is much easier to be a woman, and that people treat you more kindly. That is certainly what Grayson Perry said lay behind his cross dressing as a child. He wanted people to treat him like they might a little girl ( his step father was violent and his mother mentally ill and he had a tough time)

Regarding La Petite Fille and the Guardian's review of it - as you say - reviewed completely through an already assumed position of affirmation - with no thoughts or exploration outside of that.

Basically, what drove his transition was the desire to be loved, and in a way that he thought women were loved, at a time when homosexuality was still a taboo.

Absolutely. Informed and enchanted by Hollywood and stereotypes.

I had exactly the same impression of Michael. The give away on the A was him saying that he really desired sex with women but when it was clear that women didn't desire it with him, the answer was to be one. As you say, he also had a non-sexual trauma based need to be loved.

Interestingly, Orlando's freedom seems to have partially come from letting go of stereotypes, whereas it is hanging on to stereotypes that helps to keep Michael locked in the prison of his troubled thoughts. He was so clear that he could only be a man when he was a manly man. He looked sympathetic yet also somewhat appalled at Orlando's take on "manliness". I suspect that the wisdom to see compassion here has only come with age and self reflection - it looked like he was fighting his homophobic instinct on that. A younger man in his position, who recognised their own internal homophobia, probably wouldn't have felt the need to attempt to temper it. That said, they may do nominally, because it's expected to be supportive of gay people under the full LGBT umbrella.

Between the two of them, where they agreed and where they vehemently yet respectfully disagreed, they seem to represent a very clear picture of the vast majority of men who identify as women. There will be a small number who don't fit in to either of these broad categories, whose dysphoria has a different origin, but they are lost amongst the rest.