Would you be concerned... 4 year old "trans"

[Ncdforthisagain]

Not sure I'm posting in the right place but would welcome advice as something that is sitting very uncomfortably with me.

I met a mum recently through mutual friends at a kids activity class. She seemed nice enough and very friendly and chatty. Her son is 5 and he is a lovely child. He was wearing a sparkly top and clip on earrings the first few times I met them - all good, he's only 5 and who am I to judge. However his mum dropped very casually in conversation that she thinks he has "trans issues". Again, I thought it was a bit of an odd comment but kept that thought to myself. More recently though, it now appears that the mum has transitioned the child to living as a girl, has changed his name and is actively referring to the child as her "daughter", "she" etc. The child is so young and it just strikes me as terribly damaging to do this to a tiny child. I have 2 young DC myself and I'm actually reeling that a parent could willingly do this. I'm prepared to get shot down (maybe unlikely on this board) but it just has my alarm bells ringing.

Just one more link for those who haven't seen this - the psychological harm that happens to young children who are set up to believe they're the opposite sex - and then the reality of puberty arrives:

https://www.transgendertrend.com/childhood-social-transition/

Yes. It’s a completely normal and very common stage of development for many children. But some parents are too thick to realise this - very sadly for the child involved.

Thank you for this link. Really interesting. I’m going to pass it on.

Excellently put!

@FrancescaContini
There's also a piece about the impact on teenagers - very sad reading about how catastrophically we've let young people down by allowing proponents of this ideology to run amok in and out of school:

https://www.transgendertrend.com/teenager-says-theyre-transgender/

Thank you. Useful.

It is highly abusive to suggest to a young child that they are anything other than the sex they are. Equally they can play with and dress however they like. The market targetted at girls is often more colourful, bright, textured and fun which is why young children may prefer it. Most of the male kids in my own family and friends circle have experiened this. Wouldn't dream of saying they were trans. If I came across this in real life I would try to talk some sense in the mother. As I say, it is abusive, and if you go along with it, you are complicit in that abuse. I cannot understand how so many look the other way. It takes a village to raise a child.

It's heartbreaking, and I've seen it play through with the child of someone I know. 5 yr old has no idea what they're signing up to, they're probably still at a stage where they think changing clothes changes your sex, and their parent just corroborated that for them. I am convinced it's lazy parenting going for what's easy and makes the child happy in the short term, and not thinking about the path you're sending them down.

Thanks for replies, reading them through.

Personally I don't believe this is coming from the child, he's 5 FFS. They like anything and everything at this age. Saying he wants to be a princess is no different to saying he wants to be a cat. I think it's all coming from the mum. I believe she is pushing it. She has talked about her job which also rings other alarm bells in this context (a very specifically adult type of therapy, won't say it as might be outing).

I hardly see this woman. Younger DC doesn't go to the same class anymore but I see her pop up on social media... In every photo the child is wearing a dress and girls clothes. Being referred to as daughter and by (his) new name 😕I just despair.

I do wonder what the child's school thinks. I accept I'm sounding terribly judgey but I just feel a bit sick at the thought of it all.

Absolutely bonkers, my ds at aged 5 was running around in his sisters old Sofia the first dress and other princess costumes, at aged 12 he's certainly not trans and never has been. The problem is the ludicrous parents!

Very very sobering article. It should be compulsory reading for teachers, health care professionals, early years practitioners etc. As well as parents.

This is very interesting. The person I know who has changed the gender of her son is a sex therapist. I wonder if we’re talking about the same person. I thought the boy was 4 though, and he’s at pre-school rather than school. Are you in central London by any chance?

I teach (extra curricular) a 7 year old girl who has been told by her parents she is a transgender boy and now spends an inordinate amount of time mentioning "I'm transgender." Her poor younger brother gets corrected by teachers when he refers to his sister "you mean your brother." Similarly other kids in her class correct themselves guiltily when they accidentally say "she" so have obviously been told in no uncertain terms she is a boy. I think this is damaging to them as well as her. FFS.

Whenever I'm around them I spend a lot of time biting my lip and I go out of my way to avoid using any pronouns. I assume this is a relatively recent development because she has pierced ears and a pink bike, presumably purchased before they decided she was a boy.

@DobbysTeaCosy

Some girls will like blue and climbing trees.

Exactly, 3 years ago, my daughter informed me, "Ella's gender is boy, she likes football and climbing trees."

We were out with her friend and friend's mother and between us, we tried to explain the difference between sex and gender. They got giggly and squeaky and told us we were swearing, as the "S" word.

They were taught all that rubbish in first school and when I enquired, they were very wishy-washy about it. I suspect that they had the No Outsiders propaganda indoctrination.

None of the other parents seemed to have any idea about it.

This. This is the scary thing.

When these 4 or 5 year old, ' only ' children, dress up in sparkly clothes, where are they getting the sparkly clothes from exactly? If they are ' only ' children, the parents must be buying them deliberately to coax the kids into wearing them surely because it's not the sort of thing you just keep in, just in case, is it? It's not like having a few candles in, just in case there's a power cut, or a spare tin of soup in case you can't get out.
Transhausens!
In a sane world, social services, Dr's, etc., would be marking the cards of those parents very sternly.

I think at that age children just like shiny things. Girls don’t have the monopoly on that. It’s just the sad minds of some adults reading into it far more than they should.

I think the longer this muddle goes on, the chances are increasing that more ordinary young parents who just aren't familiar with normal childhood development and have been indoctrinated with "kindness" from schools and universities sweep their children up into this.

What a mess.

There’s no such thing as “trans children” only parents who are suffering from Munchausens Syndrome by Proxy.
I’d love to know how some of these fools would treat this child. 👇

This ex Gender clinic doctor called it Transhausens by Proxy.

I’m totally for not “transitioning” children but thinking there is something wrong with boys having access to sparkly clothes is where the problem starts. Buy your boy children as many shiny t shirts with glitter as they want and all the colours of nail varnish they want if they want - and why wouldn’t they it’s shiny and colourful and fun. None of that makes them less a boy. Boys can like shiny sparkly things and still be boys. Girls can like brown and black and cars and power tools and they are still girls. What you like to wear and play with as a child had nothing at all to do with what gender you are:

Ths really worries me as well - maybe it's already happening.

It happens with every generation. Which is why, older people, adults, need to guide and not go along with nonsense.

Perhaps more boys should be encouraged to wear glitter and unicorn t-shirts. If we reclaim gender neutrality, don't we take away some of their power?