Autistic child school sex/gender policy

[Bornchippy]

Name-changed for this.

Child has autism, has been out of school for a year after a permanent exclusion, is suffering and dysregulated as a result.

A chat with her CAHMS counsellor has revealed how desperate she is to get back into school, she’s missing friendships and interaction but she requires a very specific setting.

We’ve found the perfect school, which is very well suited for children like her with a PDA profile and has a number of kids with a similar profile on EHCP. It’s a small independent, with small class sizes & been recommended by a number of autism groups locally.

One major snag. The PSHE RSE policy. You can imagine. Confuses sex and gender and materials by Jigsaw.

We would be reliant on their goodwill to admit her & give her a chance. What would you do, knowing what we know about autistic girls? Her personality type is such that she’d be very vulnerable and suggestible, she doesn’t conform to stereotypes as it is.

Thoughts appreciated. Would you go for it. Apologies if this needs to be moved.

Think I'd try to find out more about the school. Are they transitioning children in secret ? Or is it just that the well meaning PSHE lead has copied material from dodgy sources??
What's the rest of their website like? Are they Stonewall champions or is it all appropriately education / child centred? It's a tricky one but given her situation, I'd do as much digging as possible in advance.
Can you do a visit? Look at displays, classrooms, toilets etc. Again - are they education focused or is everything rainbows?

Just to add - it sounds as if she really would benefit from school and if you do decide it's a good fit. then you could go in with some specific requirements about how this issue is to be handled with her and parental involvement?

Have a look at this thread - there's some excellent wise informative posts:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4803063-17yr-old-dd-thinks-she-is-trans-challenging-behaviour

Just because they use that stuff doesn't mean that teachers deliver it that way. I was very matter of fact delivering it and we talked about everyone's opinions and why JK Rowling has been 'cancelled'. One of the TAs is really religious and put her view foreword too. They got a very balanced view from many sides so they could make their own decisions.

There is a poster here who essentially had no discussions about gender identity added to their child’s EHCP. I can’t remember their name off top of my head…I’ll try to find it.

We’ve just been notified by school that they are going to be using Jigsaw for RSE. DS (10) has recently been diagnosed as autistic so I’m going to be looking at their materials closely during school meeting for the same reasons as you. What I’ve seen so far there is no mention of gender identity but that may not be the case for their secondary school materials.

My autistic daughter has an EHCP. When she started questioning her gender identity, I realised that she needed some safeguarding adding to it so that she could avoid being subject to unconditional bias wherever possible e.g. there is a section that explains how autistic girls typically present in ways that are similar to trans boys (short hair, "boys' clothes", generally androgenous) the impact that asking pronouns has (it is effectively asking someone if they are happy with their current "gender"/sex or want to change) and the vulnerability of an autistic person to very black and white thinking. In short, with enough influencial messaging that comes with a bias stating gender identity as fact, rather than belief, autistic girls are vulnerable to concluding that they are in fact boys.

Obviously EHCP paperwork takes a long time but maybe you could open up the dialogue about it with the school by saying you'd like an emergency review to put in a safeguarding statement covering gender identity exploration and your daughter's vulnerability? To go in to the EHCP, it needs to come from a professional. Ours was from the GP, who worked with me to establish the boundaries that needing setting in it.

Personally I'd go with the assumption that all schools are currently delivering gender identity as fact rather than belief to some degree, so I wouldn't put too much emphasis on that in the decision making. However, I'd ask to see the RSE materials so that I could review them from a safeguarding capacity. You may already know your concerns from a familiarity with the Jigsaw material, but asking for a chance to see them opens up a dialogue with the school that is specific to your daughter's vulnerability.

Hi @Faffertea I saw this after I had started typing my comment above? Was that me?

There was also another poster who removed their daughter from RSE under her EHCP.

The OP may find that thread helpful too.

At the time when I wrote the safeguarding statement, I hadn't realised the degree to which RSE materials presented gender identity belief as a sequenced pathway along which children should and would be conciously thinking about their gender identity. I've looked in to it lots more since then and my understanding of it now (lots of info on Safe Schools Alliance in particular) is that there is a gradual unfolding which starts in primary school (Alien Nation being a particularly awful example of a book which is used in many primary schools) and builds in to secondary school. From talking to friends who are teachers, children in the early years of secondary school talk amongst themselves about their own gender identity as if it's an important step that needs to be thought about. It comes down to belief: if someone believes in gender identity, this might be an important step as part of the journey through adolescence. However, if it's framed as fact rather than belief, all children are at risk of confusion but autistic girls are particularly at risk of "locking in" a boy identity, by self-assessing that their own traits can be explained as being a male gender identity.

So in retrospect, would I have changed the EHCP to take my child out of the RSE lessons? On balance, I think not. Mostly because other children are talking about it all anyway. For me, opening up the dialogue with the school about my own child's vulnerability was key.

Oops. Question mark typo...

First sentence wasn't meant to have one.. it reads a bit weirdly with it there 🤦‍♀️

@Bornchippy here are the two threads:

This is the one where I contributed. I've started it from my comment

This thread is about the parent who removed their child from RSE lessons under the EHCP

Does Jigsaw at secondary subscribe to gender woo? Their Primary docs are very factual and not at all gender woo.

Thank you for sharing this advice and links, friends are going through this with their DD

Make sure that it is stipulated on her EHPC that she is to be withdrawn from any sessions relating to gender ideology.

There are parents doing this.

Contact safe schools alliance who may be able to give you more info.

You could attach the huge and excellent document on autistic girls and gender ideology by transgender trend too.

Sorry, seen that this is suggested by a few.

www.transgendertrend.com/product/autism-gender-identity/

They've got a lot about this.

Personally I would accept the place but absolutely stipulate you're issues with GI and back U.K. with evidence. They need to be more aware and widen their understanding.
There are a number of orgs now that have a lot of info on the issues for children with autism.

Transgender Trend has lots, the Bayswater group might if you contact them and safe schools alliance has pages where main RSE providers are broken down with key issues identified.

Personally I'd go with the assumption that all schools are currently delivering gender identity as fact

The problem is that the RSE guidelines do read as if gender identity is a fact. It's says gender identity is to be taught in an age appropriate manner.

Reading it leads teachers to teach it with out criticism. And they rely on buckets of rubbish resources as a result.

Agree with MrsOverton, do visit and get a feel though . It does sound like an ideal place.

Yes @BonfireLady it was you! Thank you.