The NHS want to know what genitalia I have

[Annaissleeping]

I just had to ask for a home testing STI kit as recently I slept with someone and he took the condom off and pretended he hadn't realised that had happened.

I rang them to confirm some details and they said they needed to know my gender assigned at birth and my current gender. I said I was female and honestly quite flustered, added, I didn't have a gender.

Oh I'm sorry, the woman said, it's just we need to know what genitalia you have to send the right kit.

Not that women's feelings matter, but it felt intrustive - it's not so fun having to go through this process and being asked anything other than 'are you male or female.' But that is from someone whose 'genitalia' suffered an injury in a different assault and who has quite a lot of difficulties getting up the courage to access any medical care and discuss any aspect of my body/physical health. How many people in the UK actually know what assigned gender or genitalia actually means, outside of the gender bubble given the national reading age is about 10/11?!

Thank goodness for a health care service system in evidence-based medicine and objective science, right? 🙄

(I just needed to vent, I know people are aware this is happening)

what an altogether horrible experience.

Surely they need to know your sex to know your genitalia?

So sorry you have had this experience 😔

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I honestly don't understand why they can't just say "are you male or female? Are you transgender?" then if the person says they are transgender then they can go through all the genital stuff with them. Inclusive without all the nonsense about gender/sex being assigned at birth.

Your genitalia are definitely important when it comes to STI testing. And I guess they're trying to avoid confusion in case people don't understand the various permutations of assigned at birth, sex, gender, non-binary etc. Or perhaps they need to adapt the tests if you've had surgery to alter your genitals. It seems a very reasonable question to me. If you're having an STI test then you are going to be asked quite a lot of questions that don't get asked when you buy a coffee.

Your genitalia are definitely important when it comes to STI testing. And I guess they're trying to avoid confusion in case people don't understand the various permutations of assigned at birth, sex, gender, non-binary etc. Or perhaps they need to adapt the tests if you've had surgery to alter your genitals. It seems a very reasonable question to me. If you're having an STI test then you are going to be asked quite a lot of questions that don't get asked when you buy a coffee

oh for goodness sake. Male and female used to cover this nicely and simply before all this other rubbish language complicated things. Now women have to answer silly and intrusive questions just to appease ideologues.

It's not a sensible question. "What is your sex, male or female?" is a simpler starting point. No one is assigned a gender a birth. Sex is noted, at birth, and prior to that often via scans or via various in utero tests, for example.

You could then ask about whether or not the patient has had sex reassignment surgery or cross sex hormones if that's relevant to the specific tests being carried out.

Now women have to answer silly and intrusive questions just to appease ideologues.

Oh for goodness sake, it's a clinic for willies, fannies and the clap. Last time I went I was asked all about my sexual history, what I liked doing in the bedroom and then had things inserted into orifices by someone I'd only known for five minutes. Being asked what was in my underwear would have been insignificant small talk.

This was a home testing kit. No anything to do with attending a clinic. Home testing kits are provided (amongst other reasons) to encourage uptake of testing for women who might otherwise not attend an in person test. There will be plenty of (obvious) reasons why women might want a home testing kit, and people who are triaging the access to them ought to be aware of that and interact with patients with that in mind.

Sorry OP but we really do have to ask. You could be someone who says they are a woman but who actually has a penis, in which case you might be sent the wrong kit if we didn’t confirm what genitals you actually have.

Penis = pee in a pot and vagina = swab.

If this was for an orthopaedic appointment, for example, then I wouldn’t be answering that question either, but sexual health is literally all about genitalia so we do need to know what genitals you have.

That goes back to the whole idiotic thing of the fact they aren't a woman though no matter how much they say it
Sorry but if you have a penis you're not a woman and if you say you're a woman and get sent a testing kit for a vagina then that's your own stupid fault

So what you are saying is that adding more instrusive questions is fine because there are already instrusive questions, and the reason that it is fine is because it is more important to appease the proportion of trans people that do not like knowing/talking about the fact they have a sex?

I was about to say the same. And this nonsense must be deterring people from accessing appropriate care.

It disturbs me that many people, if asked about a gender assigned at birth and a current gender, wouldn’t have a clue what the speaker was talking about.

Speakers of English as a second (or later) language, those who haven’t heard about genderism, those with difficulties in comprehension — all excluded by nonsensical language. Whereas everyone knows what sex they are.

If they want to avoid confusion they can just ask 'what's your biological sex' and 'have you had surgical alteration of your genitalia'. What they've done is caused confusion.

Sorry OP first of all for what actually happened to you. Hope you feel okay now and that you have told this "oh the condom slipped off" person you never want to see them again.

Secondly, yes can understand that for you having to even ring up and talk about it with anyone and then have what seem even more intrusive questions.

But this is because a very small minority of people will lie to maintain the fantasy that they have changed sex. I am sure there is a better way of allowing for these extremists.

Maybe when you have had the results of the test and if all is okay, you could give feedback to the service and say how inappropriate you felt it was.

It must be possible to come up with a set of questions that allow them to ensure they send the right kit but that the person being questioned isn't put in the positions you were.

Hope all goes well.

The language used by the NHS here is absolutely shit.

But I'm most furious about the fact you were raped. "Stealthing" is illegal in the UK. Please access support for yourself and consider reporting if you feel strong enough.

Oh really! Just tell them. They're clearly asking because they need to know 🙄

If they have a penis, they're not a woman. They're a transwoman. That's different. If the NHS asked about sex and stopped farting around giving a fuck about one identity amongst loads of others, then they'd be offering a better service. Those trans people and supporters who think the world should change to suit them in ways which negatively impact the healthcare of others need help to get over themselves and accept reality. Ask about trans status for equality monitoring. There's no other reason to ask it and pretending men are women is costing precious money the NHS does not have.

You were presumably making a political statement by saying you don't have a gender so that makes it complicated for the nurse because they need to be entirely clear which kit to send out.

She was probably a bit confused and 'what genitalia do you have?' was maybe not that tactful but she did need to know. You were talking to an NHS worker about an STI test so yes your genitalia are relevant, especially if you've been a bit vague about it.

You could have just answered that your sex and gender are both female and then it would have been clear.

If someone asked me what gender I was assigned at birth, I would say I don't understand and ask them to explain. I would say I wasn't assigned anything. If someone asked me my gender I would say I didn't have one. I would continue until they asked me what my actual sex is.

Women need to push back on this now. If the NHS want to go along with this ridiculousness then they should accept people like me asking questions. If trans people don't even know their sex then that is their problem to sort out with their healthcare provider, I don't want additional paperwork, stupid questions etc when I am a straight forward ahf.

If saying I don't have a gender is a political statement then so is saying I am trans, or cis or non-binary or whatever other boxes people are inventing at the moment. The question is why are people being asked to make a political statement (which any answer to that question is) to access healthcare?

I mean it's a political statement because I think OP knew what the NHS worker wanted to know, and was being a bit awkward to make a point.

She could have just said that she was female and has always been female and that would have been clear.

But she was vague and that confused the NHS worker.

Sex cannot be assigned....it is down to chromosomes...which were "decided" long before birth, except in extraordinarily rare intersex and true haemaphrodites (sp?).
Gender is a social construct.
If they really have to ask ..just ask are you biologically male or female...

You told them you are female, no further questions should have been necessary.

But the worker was not asking about her body (sex) she was asking about her mind (gender). I would not want to answer such a question for fear that they put something on my notes which suggests I adhere to old-fashioned stereotypes. If they want to know sex, ask about sex. They are making a political statement by asking the question. Don't ask a political question and then expect a biological answer. They caused confusion!

But I'm most furious about the fact you were raped. "Stealthing" is illegal in the UK. Please access support for yourself and consider reporting if you feel strong enough.

Can all those who are being so censorious of OP have the decency to understand what has happened to her. Putting the onus of her to placate a captured bureaucracy is disgusting at any time, but worse still in her situation.

I feel am reading on more and threads on FWR comments that are so anti woman, and lacking in empathy, and find it really disturbing.