Quoting @MalagaNights: "Another thing that was interesting about the orthodox Jewish AMA was that there was a built in mentorship between women where the codes which they believe work for women are passed down.
I'm not sure we have the cultural structures in place for this to happen outside religious communities? Family is obviously the key unit for this, but can this be strong enough to give messages which go against the cultural message?"
What you're talking about in the first paragraph here is I think what Mary Harrington was advocating for men: that older men tend to be the ones to teach younger men how to be 'good men', and that this kind of naturally occurring mentoring tends to occur in single-sex contexts (even if not legislated to be single-sex) - down the pub, for instance! Or whilst doing/working at something together (building a barn, Amish-style 😅).
In the absence of formal religious observance (which is getting gradually rarer and rarer), I do think the extended family unit can be a good bulwark against the more toxic socio/cultural messaging we're seeing so much more of in the 21st century.
But that family unit is itself under attack. Almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. A similarly high proportion of children grow up without both their parents living in their home. Hence MH's plug for post-Big Romance more practical companionship-based marriage, with its benefits for women, men and children.
There's strength in numbers, but society is growing more atomised and individualised all the time. It takes a concerted effort to resist for oneself, and to help one's children to resist, the lie that "hell is other people" and you're better off alone with your smartphone, porn, and virtual companions that you can switch off and unplug whenever you get bored.