@Nellodee
Yep, I've seen that point made a lot of times on this board (I suspect by the same person name-changing)
In this world, there us no such thing as homophobia, or transphobia, or bigotry of any kind. We’re all must learn to accept others and work towards this world.
Yes, there will be bad actors, but they will exist whether or not the rest of us aim for this utopia or not. If we lived in this world, then we could deal with the small amount of people who commit crimes. The people who are holding us back from this world are not the criminals, who will always exist, but the criticals, who could accept this world view, but don’t.
For me, the reponse to this is:
Yes, I agree with your vision of how the world should be and I would be happy to work towards it. However, I can't agree with your assertion that all we need to do is to throw away the existing protections and everything will be ok.
It is unavoidably true that today, our established social practices and structures still disempower female people.
Research still shows that both sexes allow male people to talk over female, to dominate their time, that female people are socially expected to take on more of the unpaid support and care or pastoral roles in the home and at work, that childcare falls more to female people, that male voices are given more authority, that male sexuality and sexual aggression is tactily accepted, that working norms do not mesh with the school day, that violent and sexual violence is overwhelmingly committed by male people.
In this context, to remove the spaces, opportunies and protections that are intended to counteract the "default male" social setup in the misguided belief that this moves society towards equality and acceptance is in practice to push the cost and risk disproportionately onto female people, a group already magrinalised and disempowered.
Put simply, you will be putting the costs on female people while the benfits accrue to male.
It's telling I think that these debates so often focus on what women (female people) need to give up, what they need to accept, and how they need to change to bring about your social vision rather than what changes male people need to make. To quote the Usual Suspects, "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist". We are so inured to male behaviour, so used to seeing Male as the default and Female as the difference, that it's as if our brains simply skip past the men in the middle of society and we look only to how we can restructure our ideas of female to solve the problems of men that don't fit the patriachy's mould.
Rather than starting by throwing away everything female people have fought for, throwing away even the right to our own name and our own voice, in order to include male people who feel they need what we have to be themsleves, why not start by challenging male people to do better? Why not start by recognising that these male people who feel they cannot be men as society defines manhood need a newer, better ways to be male and championing and envisioning that?
If we want to reach a place where body sex has little consequence and separation by sex is rarely, if ever, needed or wanted, why not start by creating those sexless spaces (physical and cultural) alongside today's existing provisions and put our effort into making them work, making them better options, until the single sex supports and provisions simply become irrelevant as no one wants to be there? Why, if this is so much better than what we have today, is it so important to destroy the protections we have first and force women into the new world whether they want it or not, whether they feel safe or not, whether it works for them or not?