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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Son asked “gender identity” for library card

50 replies

Weallgottachangesometime · 16/04/2023 07:59

I opened a library card for my son yesterday. The librarian was asking him questions such as DOB etc. Then came the “diversity” questions. Only 2 though! So she asked my son “ what do you identify as…do you identify as a little boy”. My son replied no and the librarian looked at him expectantly. “Oh what do you identify as”? My son replied “a big boy”.

Well I laughed my head off. Told the librarian that gender identity doesn’t really mean anything to my son, but he certainly would never describe himself as “little” now he almost 8.

Honestly what a silly question to ask a young child and completely irrelevant to borrowing books. Interestingly she only asked gender identity his and ethnicity. Surely things like disability, neurodivergence etc would actually possibly be more relevant to using the library?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 16/04/2023 08:04

In my job I don’t ask the gender and ethnicity questions any more. It doesn’t affect my job, it’s only for information gathering.

Original poster
Weallgottachangesometime · 16/04/2023 08:08

DustyLee123 · 16/04/2023 08:04

In my job I don’t ask the gender and ethnicity questions any more. It doesn’t affect my job, it’s only for information gathering.

I have to ask diversity questions in my job. I’m always asking out management what Tom hey are doing with the information. Too many places collect it and do nothing with it. In theory it makes sense to cater your services, identify if a specific group is not accessing your service etc. many places just collect it for the sake of it though.

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BrutusMcDogface · 16/04/2023 08:11

Asking an almost 8 year old what they “identify as”? Really? Why?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

HagoftheNorth · 16/04/2023 08:11

🙄 when I got a library card for my dc (age 3 to be fair) they would most likely have identified as a fairy, or maybe a dragon 😁

bellac11 · 16/04/2023 08:13

I hate the way the language of 'identify as' is being pushed at younger and younge children, as if it has some validity and is a thing they need to be navigating and thinking about

Original poster
Weallgottachangesometime · 16/04/2023 08:22

BrutusMcDogface · 16/04/2023 08:11

Asking an almost 8 year old what they “identify as”? Really? Why?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Isn’t it telling that the thing he grasped was being called “little”.

OP posts:
CrapBucket · 16/04/2023 08:26

A BIG boy. I love that so much.

Terrible question and he cuts through the nonsense to what really matters when you are 8.

sanityisamyth · 16/04/2023 08:36

My DS replied "a chicken sandwich" when he was asked a while ago. He was 7 at the time ... very proud of him!

Original poster
Weallgottachangesometime · 16/04/2023 08:44

To be fair after that she didn’t ask my daughter the same question.

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 16/04/2023 08:46

bellac11 · 16/04/2023 08:13

I hate the way the language of 'identify as' is being pushed at younger and younge children, as if it has some validity and is a thing they need to be navigating and thinking about

Exactly

anxiouslemons · 16/04/2023 09:02

I've been meaning to join my local library for a while. I wonder if it's a nationwide thing and they'll ask me? Just considering what I will identify as when the time comes hmm

DreamingBe · 16/04/2023 09:12

Not sure about nationwide, but our local libraries do, and also have questions for ethnicity, disabilities etc which are worded with "identify as" as well. The staff are largely very woke.

BuffaloCauliflower · 16/04/2023 09:13

Bloody hell. Way to drip drip this bollocks on them from the start. I’d complain.

KalimbaMoon · 16/04/2023 09:17

I love this boy! What a superb answer to a very silly question.

twelly · 16/04/2023 09:18

I love your son's reply.

The question he was asked is just appalling - I feel this whole issue is so out of hand, almost encouraging and normalising a change in sex and gender

Theunamedcat · 16/04/2023 09:19

Asked my asd son the same question he said cat and refused to do anything but miow after he was 9 at the time I allowed her to interpret hisses and wrowls as she attempted to work out boy cat or girl cat (he had long hair she guessed wrong) later heard her saying to someone I assume senior can we not do diversity with the children please they are clueless 😂

DeflatedAgain · 16/04/2023 09:20

Very strange question for a child 🤨

NotYourCisterinAus · 16/04/2023 10:53

FFS. I'm a librarian, and I've never been made to ask a reader's "gender identity" before issuing them with a library card. Name, address, a contact number or email, and some form of ID to confirm that they are who they say they are. That's it, and that's all we need to know.

Creepybookworm · 16/04/2023 10:58

I work in a library and don't ask that question. I look with my eyes and record sex and if it is not obvious I don't record it at all.

Original poster
Weallgottachangesometime · 16/04/2023 11:06

NotYourCisterinAus · 16/04/2023 10:53

FFS. I'm a librarian, and I've never been made to ask a reader's "gender identity" before issuing them with a library card. Name, address, a contact number or email, and some form of ID to confirm that they are who they say they are. That's it, and that's all we need to know.

She did say the additional questions were not required but I let her ask because I was using it as a chance for my son to engage with an adult and have a bit of responsibility. I actually thought it would be book related, such as what genres he likes.

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Dinopawus · 16/04/2023 11:08

It's a really manipulative question isn't it?

It's like what's your favourite colour/band/football team? The question implies you have to have one even if you don't like football or music.

Asking a child what they identify as normalises the concept that it is normal to identify as anything. It isn't data gathering, its dangerous ideology.

Shufflebumnessie · 16/04/2023 11:32

We moved to a new area when DS was 4. When we applied for a new library card the lady asked for his name. He started saying his name but then had a sudden change of heart half way through and replied "Darth Vader". I'm sure if she'd asked his gender identity he would have told her he was Sith!

Otherlifeform · 16/04/2023 11:49

Where is this? My DH manages libraries and this sounds like made up rubbish to be honest. If it’s real, complain.

Original poster
Weallgottachangesometime · 16/04/2023 11:51

Otherlifeform · 16/04/2023 11:49

Where is this? My DH manages libraries and this sounds like made up rubbish to be honest. If it’s real, complain.

It’s Somerset. It’s not made up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Weallgottachangesometime · 16/04/2023 11:53

Otherlifeform · 16/04/2023 11:49

Where is this? My DH manages libraries and this sounds like made up rubbish to be honest. If it’s real, complain.

Not sure I can be arsed to complain. I more find it ridiculous than something complaint worthy. Also I highly doubt it would make a difference. I may contact them and ask why they as that question and not anything about sex or disability. I would have thought knowing if you had a lot of Deaf or visually impaired members would’ve been more relevant

OP posts: