Guardian Sex Advice Column WTF

[MissMissive]

Not sure if this has already been posted but the response to this is horrendous. The last sentence is mindblowingly terrible. WTF.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/mar/22/wife-told-me-sexual-past-mini-panic-attacks?CMP=fb_gu&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1679481540

This. I would put money on her never having had an orgasm with this clown.

This doesn’t surprise me at all. That columnist has form for deeply misogynistic responses to readers’ problems, and the Guardian employing her is entirely consistent with their anti-woman activism.

It sounds like the sort of response you'd expect to see on an incel chat board.

I agree with you all AND bet the wife has tried to tell him and show him loads of times, and he's just crap at it!! She doesn't sound like the kind of woman who would withhold information about how to satisfy her sexually fgs.

I had an abusive ex who used to claim he was traumatised by knowing some of my sexual history. It was a key component of his abusive coercive control. He tried to use it to shame and control me.

I hope the wife in this column dumps her insecure husband and gets with someone else who's a better shag.

The Graun has got some good agony aunts - I have time for Anneliese Barbieri and Philippa Perry. Mariella Frostrup was mostly useless (she's left now) but I've always thought Pamela Stephenson was dreadful - something robotic about her replies that are detached from the ways real people feel and behave. How on earth she has a column or why anyone writes to her is a mystery. Must be the power of celebrity.

It’s actually quite worrying that he is having ‘mini panic attacks’ when he’s been in the relationship for 10 years and this was all disclosed years ago… he’s harboring and going over her sexual encounters with other men for months and months. This is really not healthy of him and likely this is not a good relationship.

The woman not wanting intimacy may well be that she feels obligated to have sex, feels no love for him anymore, but is under pressure from him. Anything could be going on in that relationship!

Wow!

Funnily enough as i read that bit I thought, nah mate, have you never watched when Harry met Sally!. If after ten years he's not managed to satisfy her without penetration id bet good money on her faking it for ten years.. She should have divorced the self absorbed numpty 9 and a half years ago.

From wikipedia : Stephenson is a US-licensed psychologist who practices and publishes under the name Pamela Stephenson-Connolly. In her private practice in Beverly Hills, she provided mental health care to adult individuals and couples for a range of psychological complaints. Stephenson's professional specialties include human sexuality. She was founder and president of the Los Angeles Sexuality Center, an online sexual research engine that operated for five years until she moved to New York.

Yes, the "never managed to orgasm without penetrative sex" line. Poor woman has been faking it for 10 years. He's insecure about his wife of 10 year's past. But it's all her fault?

There was no indication she had been cruel in telling him about her past or was withholding information from him. The issue is with him, his confidence, his insecurity, his neediness. He needs to communicate with his wife, recognise her needs are different to his, accept that she chose to marry him not her previous partners.

Fucking hell. Either that’s had the ever-loving crap sub-edited out of it, or there’s no defence.

Anneliese Barbieri is the only one I rate. And she often prefaces things with ‘in your longer letter…’ which at least gives the readers the heads up that the text they print is not all she’s going on. And she often gets other expert opinions too.

Pamela Connelly is always weird but that column is off the scale.

That shit is bizarre, is she quite alright?

“Do not allow her to withhold this information any longer”? WTF did I just read?!

Does Stephenson really think that this man has the right to his wife’s sexual preferences and should take unspecified action to extract this information to fulfil that right?

Jesus, Pamela has taken over from Mariella in the “Crap advice you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy” stakes.

Bloody hell. That advice is so aggressive.

Poor woman having to deal with her pathetic husband. He knows he's crap in bed. No wonder she ups and leaves after.

Yeah sounds like he's crap in bed, he knows she's had better and that's now denting his ego.

Poor woman, 10 years of bad sex is no fun for anyone.

WTF did I just read!

Jesus, can the woman hear herself.

I know, you just know what sort of sex she's getting. I hope her ceiling is interesting!

I’m amazed Pamela didn’t just offer to hook these dudes up as pen pals:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/feb/28/i-get-aroused-by-the-thought-of-wife-past-liaison-with-colleague-want-to-role-play

(Bloke from a previous column who gets off on thinking about his wife’s sexual history)

"Do not allow her to withhold that information...."

Wtaf? How exactly? What is this writer advocating he do to her exactly? That's a good way to end a relationship permanently in one night, and quite possibly have Women's Aid involved by morning.

I see none of the Guardian fans have dropped by to go "yes excellent advice! Incellism rulz!" yet. Odd, that.

That's horrifying. I'm imagining him showing her the advice and berating her for her "abuse" of him. Imagine the sense of hopelessness if your husband did that.

This isn't really on-topic, but isn't it more usual to not orgasm with penetration than without? The poor woman probably can't be arsed to pretend unless she actively wants to get him off of her. It sounds to me like someone might just be being abused there, but it isn't him!

Imagine being the man who posed for that stock photo then seeing it used for that purpose 😱😆

“Do not allow her to withhold that information...."

got steadily worse with each word of ‘advice’ PS wrote but omg that last sentence

and dude’s an idiot that needs to be binned, can’t understand why his wife is still with him

🙀🤣

It looks a lot like Anthony Head too?

Agree with everyone else that this is a terrible response.

I would say though that this is also a slot in the paper, and she's clearly been given a very short amount of space for both the question and the answer. I don't know why - it seems stupid (compare with eg the amount of space Annalisa Barbieri gets on a Saturday). So perhaps it was cut by an insensitive subeditor? Who knows?