I suspect that many non-binary people are experiencing the same thing as GC women, in that they don't "feel" they have a gender identity/identify strongly with gender stereotypes.
But instead of extrapolating that as a common experience shared by the majority of people who are not trans (or everyone) they are working within the mental framework they have been taught by their friends/stonewalled schools/social media. That everyone has a gender identity so if they don't experience one then they must have an extra special hard to feel one like non-binary.
It's interesting that it a (mis) understanding or reinterpretation of how other people experience the world that could define someone rather than their own lived experience (of say being gender non conforming) that impacts how they perceive themselves.
I am finding the religious and philosophical arguments interesting to read.
The discussion about love has made me think about something I have always found interesting which is that when looking at the behaviour of animals, especially mammals the idea of interpreting them as having emotions and intelligence has often been seen as anthropomorphic/unscientific/naive.
That we ought to start from the assumption that they do not and prove each aspect such as having the same hormones etc as humans. As if animals are a completely separate thing from humans. And nature documentaries describe animals as doing things as survival/reproduction machines that react to sensory input. Like that is why the animal is doing something, rather than because they love their young but what else would the mechanism be? How else did we develop it?
We are animals too, and if you set aside idea of us being apart from the animal kingdom a la God/s then surely it shouldn't be a surprise to us that mammals at least have emotional individual experiences of the world. As indeed science continues to discover things like animals having cultures and complex social relationships.
Sorry, rambling now, but the discussion on how we experience the "outside" world and rationalise things based upon our limited sensory inputs reminded me of how we see animals from the outside rather than assume some degree of commonality with our internal experiences.