Lost friends because I am not a believer

[WhatIsGenderQueerAnyway]

Regular poster but NC.

Please tell me how refusing to go along with the delusion that a person can change sex and that everyone has a gender has affected your relationships and friendships.

It’s proving to be a bumpy road for me as I peaked several years ago and since then have lost a few friends. It’s been an eye opener actually.

Indeed. My line is quite simple. If people feel they were born in the wrong body (as it used to be called), then they absolutely should crack on. However, nothing will make them the opposite sex. They remain a man/woman who has had surgery. I also absolutely beleive that the wellbeing of the majority of women and girls should be prioritised over the rights of a vociferous minority when those rights clash
The only flack I have ever had was when I refused to put my preferred pronouns on mu email at work.

You could look at it another way. Their adherence to wacky luxury beliefs have cost them friends.

I’ve lost one friend, but that loss was not much of a loss

I’ve gained or strengthened many more friendships through being GC.

Love this!!

I love the lyrics @FlytingMachar Thanks for making me laugh! This is going to get stuck in my head all day now!

I appreciate you all replying to me. It’s good to feel I’m not alone. @Alltheprettyseahorses Yes, it’s very useful to flip the situation- they’ve lost a good friend!

Busy working right now but I will check in again later this afternoon. Thanks again everyone.

If your aunt supports the idea that trans people can change sex, did she manage to convince you that she does not hate gay people?

Hasn't affected mine at all, because every single person I know also doesn't believe anyone can change sex. It's bullshit. In fact I've gone up in the eyes of my friends because I'm prepared to stand up and say it loud and proud..

@arethereanyleftatall I'd like to be friends with you

Genius song lyrics! Anyone brave enough to record it?

I am GC. Work know I'm GC. Not had any problems so far, considering what I do for a living!! (can't say - I know, irritating)

No one I know believes TWAW. Sensible crowd my friends and family

I don't see most of my close friends very often due to distance, so have not really delved into the topic with them...and I'm also a bit hesitant to try. A brief foray left me disappointed (but with intact friendships). One friend raised it and is firmly reality based, which is great to know! And I have also spoken up amongst acquaintances (book club with colleagues), and defended my position...managed to not get directly called a bigot, and have not been cut off! Seems they have a diversity of opinions, some seem reluctant to discuss it much, but none felt the need to stop talking to me and I think some also found it useful to hear different sides of the discussion.

And my family - all on board apart from one who I don't get on terribly well with anyway, so we try to avoid the topic!

I'm pretty out about trans women being men and I haven't lost any friends, there may be few who are quietly thinking less of me. Even on Facebook during the Olympics when I put up a few rants about men not belonging in women's categories (specifically that NZ weightlifter) nobody said anything against me. In person I've had a few comments like "people should be allowed to live the life that they want to" or "well I don't want to be unkind to others" because they think I want to victimise trans women. But actually I don't care what anybody wears or what name they use in day to day life or even what pronouns they prefer, I only care when they impinge on sex based rights.

Quite often I will say to people, think of the creepiest or scariest man you have ever met, now think about how you would feel if that man can be in a swimming pool changing room with your teenage daughter just by saying that he is a woman. Not one of them has ever said that they would support his right to do that. I find that putting their daughters in the frame focusses their minds better than talking about prisons/refuges/sport.

💐 for OP and others who’ve lost friends. Why are people so afraid to discuss their differences? I can only assume because they’re scared of realising their own terfyness!
I’ve not directly lost friends, but there’ve been a fair few tumbleweed moments when I make what I think are perfectly obvious statements. That tends to be among people who work in very corporate environments - they’ve been ‘trained’! Similarly GC statements have earned me approving looks from other friends (generally those who lead slightly less conventional lives), and from my lesbian cousin, so a bit win some, lose some in my experience.

None of my friends are as outspoken as I am about this stuff but they all agree that it's nonsense.My oldest friend was on the fence for a while until we visited a museum last year and saw a huge bloke in a skirt walking into the women's loo.

She did that goldfish thing where her mouth opened and closed half a dozen times but no sound emerged.I doubt she'll be kitting herself out in KJK merch anytime soon but she's definitely seen the light.

The only people I know who believe have trans children themselves. I imagine they feel like they need to be supportive.
One is very active on FB (I’ve muted her), however I did look and 2 years down the line her daughter does not look like a boy at all. They have a very feminine haircut and even the clothes are, her mum is still very outspoken though.

I broached it with a friend who had a family member who became a woman in the 80s. She said the latest dealings with she’s had with them , all she can think is what an aggressive man they are.

@WhatIsGenderQueerAnyway
I find TW who invade women’s spaces and groups upsetting, personally.
The “Right ons” falling over themselves to refer to the TW as “ She/ her” and sucking up.

I do believe that a certain type of TW likes to make people feel uneasy in women’s spaces.

A group was advertised as “Women only, so quite safe”
Just a nope from me.
Leggings, makeup and a frock do not a woman make.

That’s EPIC!
Great song 🎶

A group of TW calling themselves “ Pissed off Tra**ies” were hurling urine about, in a public space while having semis poking through women’s 👗 frocks.
It was aggressive and very unpleasant.

These are PEE- ple who want to gain entry to women only spaces.

I saw a large person who wasn’t XX come out of a cubicle in a women’s loo , tucking the peen away.

I have to ask out of genuine curiosity, what does being posh have to do with anything?

The only true believer I knew in real life was too damaged to be a close friend anyway. I've been banned from Facebook groups and Reddit subs for being a bigot AKA a person who doesn't believe in gender identity.

That's a good way to look at it. Two people have lost me as a friend - one is someone I've known for over 40 years and the other is his new wife. She is in her 50s and a true believer in twaw and he's gone along with it. Thinking about him now, he's always gone along to get along so I shouldn't be surprised, but it's still rather disappointing to realise he's always been weak.

Saying that, I've gained friends and very good ones.

I have to ask out of genuine curiosity, what does being posh have to do with anything?

I've heard it's because posh people have fewer genuine worries in life, so have more freedom for luxury beliefs.

🤣

This is also why there is an outbreak amongst middle class teenagers.