Do any older women transition?

[Teatime55]

I feel like all I see are loads of middle aged men wanting to be women, and teenage girls/young women wanting to be male.
Are there middle aged women transitioning? Getting surgery etc.

While everything falls under one big trans umbrella these days, I think the old distinctions (dysphoric gay male in 20s = transsexual, crossdressing straight man in 50s = transvestite) served a useful purpose.

Stonewall want us to think that everybody is more free to be their true authentic selves, but the reality is there's just no pipeline of 50-something women getting their sexual kicks out of secretly wearing their husband's underwear, who might now reclassify themselves as trans.

It's just not a thing.

And that makes the numbers of teenage girls calling themselves boys impossible to write off as a natural authentic reality.

So do most women resolve feelings of gender dysphoria by middle age? Why don't as many men do then?

Autogynephilia

Women's hormones change over their lifetimes in a different way to men so I could image that some of it is hormonally driven. Plus obviously sexist social pressures and experiences - I found I became more confident as I grew older. And then less so as I moved into peri. And then hrt has helped there a bit again.

But everyone is individual so it's hard to comment. Definitely seems to be fewer late female to males than the other way round.

The late 40s trans man I know doesn't have any kids or caring responsibilities so that theory falls down flat there

A friend of a friend - lots of mental health and trauma etc, probably autistic.

A friends mother (she still calls her mum) - not sure why as I don't know them that well. Friend was in foster care for a while, so there is obviously something going on.

All the rest I know are either teenagers (mostly girls, a few boys) and autistic, or men (also mostly autistic)

I once put this question to a friend who said actually there are loads and loads of middle aged women transitioning 🤔 but also offered no evidence of this.

Doesn't it confirm it?

I wonder if women with children may be unwilling to do this to the family. A narcissistic male be very confident that the family will still all revolve around him, but a woman socialised to put everybody else first might not feel that way.

One of my friends who is autistic and lives in Brighton came out as non binary about three years ago after decades of proudly being a woman who loves women. We're in our 40s. She has stopped mentioning gender recently since it has become much less trendy.

She's a very kind person and I think in her own way she was trying to fit in with what she sees as her community.

Thank goodness for Sam Smith who is single-handedly making being non binary seem like the least cool thing in the world.

Thank goodness for Sam Smith who is single-handedly making being non binary seem like the least cool thing in the world.

No, I don't think it does confirm it
We're all individuals - one person's experience doesn't mean that there you go, that's what everyone must be like.

Hmm, anecdotally as a Lesbian I'm hearing that older butch Lesbians have already done so. I'm out of the loop having moved. But as early as 2019 at my uni lesbian group there were no butches or sporty androgynous girls. Just very feminine-looking Lesbians there, which I kind of naively enjoyed as I look typically feminine too, without being 'femme.' I thought it was liberating!

I have a Trans man family member who is mid-40s, previously a lesbian. Self-proclaimed autism and a string of other conditions, and very traumatic childhood and dysfunctional family background, transition followed separation from long-term partner (after first IDing as NB). This person has always sought new identities and fads apparently as a way to feel reinvented and escape low self esteem, but it never works so they alway seek more. So it was a path you could see developing IYSWIM. Now planning the surgery.

“Getting their sexual kicks out of wearing their husbands underwear”

And there is the answer. Who would get a thrill out of a middle aged man’s m and s cotton rich y fronts, or over washed Calvin Kleins with slightly baggy elastic? Or joke ones with elephants. Or leopard skin budgie smugglers. It just ain’t gonna happen.

DuckDuckNo
Not many middle aged women have time to navel gaze and dwell on their own identities. Many are running between job / kid care / elderly care.

CremeEggQueen
The late 40s trans man I know doesn't have any kids or caring responsibilities so that theory falls down flat there

It fits into the theory perfectly.

I know a middle aged woman who transitioned after her father died in an unexpected accident. We all think she’s trying to become him because she can’t deal with losing him. There is constant talk about “how much I look like my dad now”, “x says I look more like my dad every day”, “someone thought I was actually my dad”. Quite obviously driven by trauma.

friend told us about a mid 30s friend of hers who was transitioning but it was a good few years ago when it was all becoming trendy. Iirc butch lesbian.

Would a lesbian who is attracted to butch lesbians want to date a transman?

I thought lesbians were attracted to lesbians -i.e. women, not fake men.

Yes they do.

@Isitworthitatmyage Some do and some do not.

I think women should reclaim 'stunning' and 'brave'.
Anyone printing t shirts currently?
KJK?
Also, slightly off thread, I think I heard an offensive term on Woman's Hour today, was it 'birthing person' or similar?
If this kind of media sanctioned muppetry continues I could turn into Victor Meldrew.
Does that count as F to M?

Also with agp isn’t there a shame/humiliation aspect that it’s “naughty” to wear women’s stuff, and that’s part of the turn on. It’s deeply tied into the sexist idea of emasculation, that it’s some kind of step “down” from masculinity to be feminine. The other way round there’s no forbidden thrill or humiliation, women wear trousers all the time, men’s underwear is not ideally shaped but apart from that we could wear it for practical reasons, no woman would see it as a sex thing (or very few).

That’s why for most females wanting to transition, it seems to be about wanting to avoid femaleness or feeling uncomfortable with the female body, for lots of reasons including being a target for men, history of sexual abuse, or feeling like you don’t fit in and can’t “woman” properly in this age of exceptionally polarised gender roles. And I think a lot of women come to terms with those feelings as they get older, and accept themselves more and more, so the levels of transitioning dropping off with more maturity makes sense.

The late 40s trans man I know

Your sample of one then.

gods no. I had no problem with butch Lesbians, who love being women. I would never date a self -hating lesbian who look like a man. Ugh what a turn-off...

After working and raising children followed by more working I wouldn’t have the energy to start transitioning to a man. It’s hard enough trying to transition from letting myself go these past years to getting a new, more modern wardrobe and haircut now the kids have all become adult.

She is aware what s*x with gay men will be?