Women are only as safe as their male partner allows them to be

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www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/02/08/women-safe-male-partner-allows-head-girls-school-body-says-emma/

A statement related to Emma Pattison from the chief executive of the Girls Day School Trust (a group of independent girls schools).

This is about a woman and child being murderer it is not a thread about trans ideology. Could you maybe not try to hijack it to shoehorn your agenda in?

Best quote ever but can somebody please put up an archive because most of us can’t read it

She's making the logical point your partner could cave your head in whether you are successful or not in your life/career.

It isn't about a man being responsible for your safety, it is about domestic violence is not something the victims chose and not limited to those in 'unfortunate' circumstances.

This x

Seriously as if you think trans people are what’s ‘teaching men that women don’t matter’ 🙄, when society has been teaching that for centuries.

Feeling, I think you are missing the point. It's not about men being responsible for women's safety. Or women looking after themselves. It is about the fact that male partners have the capacity to harm their female partners at will, should they choose to. Most male partners obviously don't, but a significant number do, to the point where femicide is endemic in our society.
I think it's safe to say that most women would probably say that they'd "never let a man treat them like that", until a man does manipulate, coerce or bully her, and she finds herself unable to leave. Comments which suggest women simply 'leave' lack insight into the very real issues inherent in male violence against women, and coercive control in particular.

While the article really is chilling, thought provoking and male violence is a massive concern in our society, this does make me think of what another poster mentioned...like we as women can't think for ourselves, can't keep ourselves safe and even need men to do that for us.
Erm no. I'm safe because I choose to be. Not because my DH allows it.

I do agree with the point that it doesn't matter how successful you are in your career and you could be a victim of DV And "the men in society are currently not allowing any women to be safe because they'd much rather give men who identify as women more rights. It's sickening to see that people can't connect the dots. Men are being taught that women don't matter" <--- and that boils my piss.

In wider society that is...

God, this rings so true! I remember when my ex partner started to get physically abusive to me. I called women's aid and said ' we fight. I say horrible things.' She said, then he should react with words or walk away. It is not his right to physically attack you. He still controls me through my child, even though we are not together. He expects to FaceTime my child every night and if I don't he makes threat, it's a form of control. Just like sex education, there needs to more education to young boys and men about violence towards women from an early age.

Women will always be second class citizens and be unsafe until more women are in power and make decisions. Just look at the family courts and how many men use the threat of taking children away from their ex partners and succeed in doing this, just for the control. There are even extreme movements like Fathers For Justice, which are constantly on forums like this and others scaring the crap out of women like me with false information. It was only when I actually spoke to a lawyer I realised how much misinformation is out there. Men (even the good ones) need to stand up and take responsibility. I never see any men post about violence against women or campaigning. To be honest I never see men campaigning about childcare costs or flexible working, because it doesn't every affect them. Time for them to take responsibility.

This is victim-blaming and quite naive.

If you believe you are safe because you choose to be, you presumably think the women who are not safe choose not to be?

In my opinion the women who are dead are dead because their partners chose to kill them and society chose not to do enough to prevent this.

@P3N sorry, but I find this very ignorant. For someone who has suffered from DA, I can't be held responsible for the actions of someone else who can't control their emotions.

Yes we can make sure we don't walk through a park at night or get into a car with a stranger, but women are getting murdered by men they trust. Unless you've ever been threatened by someone you 'trust' you won't get the magnitude of the problem.

Erm no. I'm safe because I choose to be. Not because my DH allows it.

Well done you, you’re not like those silly women who chose not to be safe. They’ve only themselves to blame.

The problem is, at the moment society allows ordinary men to be a bit lazy and grumpy, and expects women to help them manage. Women are trained to fill in men's gaps. We are socialised to be support animals.

That means that a base level of inadequacy is considered the norm. If you find a partner that's truly equitable then you've 'bagged a gem'. Caught a good 'un.

In turn that means that the early behaviours are overlooked. Slightly petulant? Grumpy if his sleep is broken? Irritable about money, or disappointment? Must be stressed. Soothe him, support animal/partner.

By the time you realise this one is dangerous rather than typical bloke eye roll, it's too late.

Boiling frog.

So this. This is where we need to be putting effort.

Yep what a silly woman she was. So silly she was made headmistress of one of the countries top schools.

Agree. I have a boy and a girl. It is the boy I am talking to about this

I think it's an excellent quote.

It scales up too - women in any country are only as safe as the males in charge allow. Everything can be taken away, if men want, like in Afghanistan.

See how we're desperate for our very male institution - the police - to find a missing women at the same time knowing that most of us no longer trust the police.

Hardly shoehorning. It's all part of the same misogyny. That's the point.

Lord yes.

The way women's rights have rolled back. Reproductive health care, Afghanistan, Iran...

So very scary.

Seriously, on a thread about male violence you come out with this?

<insert magdalen berns quote>

I’m bemused by your response, I must say.

If you’re a straight women, it’s expected you will partner up with a man. Do you get that? Heterosexual women are expected to partner up with heterosexual men, and vice versa.

I know you - individually - married your Dave or Nigel or whoever because you wanted to. Don’t worry.

But on a societal, population level (OK?), straight women are expected to partner up with straight men (and vice versa).

And straight men are our greatest threat. Not any of the things that we tend to find frightening. Like, I dunno, snakes or poisonous spiders or sharks or volcanoes or earthquakes.

Men.

Clearly, many of us - myself included - partner up with with nice men who are no threat. But far too many women are not so lucky.

They are assaulted, abused, beaten, raped and even killed by the men they love and choose to live with.

No-one else on the planet - including no other species - CHOOSES to partner up and live with their most real and present predator. Zebras don’t shack up with lions. Mice don’t cohabit with cats.

We do. Ever day. Many of us a lucky. Many of us are not.

Do you get it?

Don’t worry, anyone with a modicum of critical thinking ability got it.

You’re literally just referencing an anti-trans campaigner and thinking it adds something. It doesn’t.

Misogyny and patriarchy.

Occasionally in disguise but generally simply strolling around confident in their rights and oblivious to their privilege.