Hadley meets Bayswater Support Group

[ResisterRex]

In The Times. Covers the challenge of parenting and saying no, and supporting instead of enabling, as well as the frustrations of being up against an education system handing out rainbow flags, and lobby groups telling children about suicide:

The prize for being a good parent is hatred

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/03d845c2-8e8f-11ed-a303-61858d68dcd6?shareToken=2d01652b86b5d1c6226a18dc817ec9cb

"No one ever confused parenting with a relaxing massage, and when you’re faced with a hysterical teenager, the path of least resistance can be extremely tempting. But, as one Bayswater mother said to me, “Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say no and let them hate you.”"

I was one of the mums at this meeting. I think Hadley has done a tremendous job. It’s a lovely piece and I’m so grateful to her for taking the time to meet us and understand our concerns and perspective.

I'm glad she's now writing for an outlet that prints these stories, and that you had a good meeting with her

Well done, rogdmum!

I was quite teary when I read it.

'many of them had been reported by their child’s school to social services for infractions such as using female pronouns for their daughter.'

fucking terrifying.

💐

Great to see it out there.

Great article

Sometimes you have to say "No" and accept the fury and hatred that results. And still you love and cherish them. Parenting is not a stroll in the park.

It has been so hard saying "No". If it wasn't for this board I don't know that I would have had the courage of my convictions, and the knowledge to back them up.

Good on Bayswater and good on Hadley Freeman.

The word “supportive” is often ideologically loaded. When gender clinics say “children whose parents are supportive do better” they mean “children whose parents support the affirmative model for their children do better.”

It’s a lie and emotional manipulation, and it’s done by the clinics, which makes it worse.

thank you

Well done Hadley and rogdmum. and excellent and long over due piece from the media..

Realised my speculation may not actually be welcome so I have reported my own comment above for deletion!

This is a fascinating article - thank you for sharing it.

Thankfully I haven’t been through the nightmare described by the parents in the interview but I agree that as a parent it’s very important to say “no”, to “be the adult” and, as per the Michelle Obama quote, NOT be your child’s “friend “.

And I agree with the comment upthread that the meaning of the word “supportive” has become aligned with “affirming”.

This seems pertinent. This whole episode in our public life and institutions is so sad. The damage its done to families and children needs a day of reckoning:

garypowell.uk/2023/01/07/where-were-all-the-lgbt-lobby-groups-when-my-daughter-was-subjected-to-years-of-homophobic-bullying-the-mother-of-a-lesbian-teenager-gives-a-harrowing-account-of-her-school/

From here:
twitter.com/garyjpowell/status/1611991707947614217?s=46&t=EUve_5uv2OMGxJ9mTBHmAw

This demonstrates the school taking a strong ideological position and I would feel the school was complicit in any harm subsequently done to my child. So, so shocking.

It’s hard to believe that the adults in charge here - the teachers and SS - didn’t engage their brains. What a waste of time and resources, and what a source of awful stress for the families.

Thanks for sharing this.

The uncomfortable truth has to be that without restrictive gender stereotypes and homophobia, there just wouldn't be so many kids identifying as trans.

🍫chocolate from me. It must have good to be listened to and understood rather than dismissed, and also to know what you said want going to be misrepresented.

I am glad Hadley is at a paper that lets her publish articles like this so we can read about the struggles of mums like rogdmum

Really glad to hear that rogdmum. Many people reading that will be utterly horrified that parents are being reported to social services. I really don't think that is in the public consciousness at all.

Thanks everyone. I view it as our responsibility to protect our children’s future selves. We understand how children can be influenced. We understand their appetite for risk. We understand their need to separate from us as they mature, but want them to do it in a healthy way that minimises risk because above all, we understand (where they don’t) what it is they are potentially giving up if they end up down the medicalised path. Supporting the child as a whole does not mean supporting them in every decision they make and I’ve long since stopped caring what people think. I’m just furious that in most cases, we are not the last defence for our children, we are the only defence.

<rant over 😁>