Megan Newborough: another beautiful and vibrant young woman murdered in the prime of her life

[EmmatheStageRat]

…just that really. The images of this beautiful and vibrant young woman haunt me. She was nearly decapitated by her boyfriend murderer, Ross McCullam. Just WHAT are parents of boys teaching them about positive relationships with females?

It’s because there’s usually some kind of sexual or ‘relationship’ backdrop to it and 98% of men are straight so naturally they would be women. Men kill other men in even greater numbers because there’s usually a drugs/crime/violent backdrop to it and that mainly applies to males.

There is a lot of talk about the lack of outrage and campaigning against this, but what exactly do you campaign for? Making murder illegal? Making rape illegal? There is a lack of outrage, because the man got caught and got sentenced. His excuses weren't accepted by the court. Public outrage is normally when they get away with it.

I've heard talk about putting more education in schools, but most of these violent males don't attend school, they have a history of truancy and suspension, and telling boys who have no interest in raping and killing women not to do so will only cause aggravation (studies have shown that public campaigns to tell people who are not racist to stop being racist have detrimental effects).

I seriously believe that for some there is a biological or genetic predisposition to it (in a lot of cases they have "evil" eyes, where they're either spaced out or close and small), studies should take place to try to find some common factor.

I don't think it's the parents fault, it's society problem. I think the "pontification" of everything hasn't helped.

also sentences are pathetic & rarely fully served.

If we focus on attractiveness of female victims, we are perpetuating the stereotypes that objectifies women in the first place.

We are all misogynists, we should acknowledge our own sexism

this

Huh? We are all misogynists? What on Earth are you talking about?

I agreed with another posters point. I think society is inherently misogynistic. You don't have to agree though.

Yes, we know.

Because the idea of society telling men to modify their behaviour, that they can't do what the fuck they want, hurt who the fuck they want, is apparently 'unrealistic' and 'impossible'.

It's just inevitable that men will kill each other, kill women, rape women, sexually assault women. Apparently.

Oh and the most important thing to remember of course is that not all men are like that.

All of those things are illegal, so who exactly is telling men that it is acceptable? The men committing these crimes know that it is wrong and illegal too, but they go to great lengths to cover the crime up.

We've previously had a police officer who clearly knows the law and difference between right and wrong, but still did various crimes.

@Cuppasoupmonster , we are brought up to be. We live in a patriarchy.

We are taught to take the unpaid labour that women do for granted, encouraged to be suspicious and competitive with other girls and women. Judge women who have multiple partners/DC with multiple partners. To judge women in the public eye on their appearance, whether they are parents, whether they are behaving as a parent should.

We expect DILs and SisILs to work for the man's family to adopt the standards and values of the man's family. Judge her if birthday/Xmas cards and presents are not sent on time to the man's family.

Judge her if she works full time, judge her if she doesn't...i could go on.

@Velvian whats that got to do with this crime?

Exactly. What are these posters suggesting we do that will have a greater impact than life imprisonment? Even the death penalty doesn’t seem to deter this type of crimes in the US.

I wholeheartedly agree.

Another pointless death caused by a f**king loser male. It makes me so angry. Jumped up little nobody with impotence problems (allegedly) envies successful, bright young woman so kills her because he’s sat at home for years prior to this musing about violence and dehumanising women.

This doesn’t come out of nowhere. The signs must be there in their teens surely. I know obviously not every one of them go on to commit a serious crime, but could they not be rehabilitated/re-educated somehow? I think it comes from the males around them - the attitude to women, the entitlement - and from porn, where women are degraded for the pleasure of men.

It doesn’t have to be violence though. It often shocks me to see many ‘normal’ men’s attitude to women.

Rest in peace, Megan.

Well they’re not are they? Not by a long shot. There are 33 million men in the UK (let’s say 25 million over the age of 18) and ~700 murders (which includes men and women victims) per year. So 1 in 47,000 ish men commit murder every year. My maths is a bit sloppy there as it isn’t exact and doesn’t account for spree killings and multiple murders etc, but it’s a very very tiny percentage of men.

That isn’t to say general sexism isn’t much higher than that and indeed probably prevalent in every man at some level.

But I really don’t think the extremity of this type of crime is indicative of it being a ‘low level sexism ramped up’ type issue. I think it’s psychopathy and sadism which unfortunately have always been a rare occurrence in humanity.

And leading on from my comment I think people find it comforting to believe it’s an escalation of ‘general societal sexism’ because then it feels like we can do something about it, when we can’t. I think we can ‘condition’ men to pull their weight around the house and similar, I don’t think we can ‘condition’ men like this monster.

The fact that this woman was beautiful is neither here nor there OP. I'm sorry but it does make it sound like if she wasn't beautiful it wouldn't matter as much. I am plain, middle-aged and boring but if I was murdered in this horrific way all my loved ones would be devastated - obviously. I am not of less value as a human being just because I'm not beautiful. I'm so sick of seeing women defined by their looks.

They’re human anomalies, there will always be psychopaths and sadists

I don't think a woman murdered by a partner or ex-partner every 3 days is an anomaly, @Cuppasoupmonster.

Our misogynistic culture teaches men they have entitlement to women's bodies, women's support and women's unpaid labour. The recent porn-soaked decades since the internet became mainstream have only intensified this. Teenage girls are told being choked during sex is normal, ffs.

This is the end result of that culture - thwarted men lashing out and killing women (and children).

Oh FFS! He's not a "monster" he's a murderer. Calling him a monster panders to the narrative that it's not a Men issue, it's a bad monster issue. It's NAMALT and being an apologist for male violence by setting it outside male behaviour.

It's very much a Men issue. There are two sexes, and only one of them is responsible for almost all violent and sexual crime.

Oh look, yet another thread where women attempt to discuss male violence against women and a NAMALT pops up with the usual 'it's only a small number of the male population who murder women, leave them alone'.

It's fucking constant. There's one going at the moment.

Do you work in tandem with either other? Like a little misogynistic wee gang?

Totally agree

But your ‘theory’ that crimes this horrific are as escalation of everyday sexism holds no water whatsoever. Arguably everyday sexism is much less than it was in the 70s/80s (have you seen Ripper on Netflix?). You could slap a female colleague’s bottom with impunity, control their finances and even rape your wife and that was legal. So why hasn’t this type of extreme crime gone down?

Your approach won’t work. I know it’s tempting to lay everything at the door of general patriarchy/societal conditioning but not only is there nothing to really support this, it misses the crux of the issue which ultimately lies in psychology rather than feminism.

We are taught to take the unpaid labour that women do for granted, encouraged to be suspicious and competitive with other girls and women. Judge women who have multiple partners/DC with multiple partners. To judge women in the public eye on their appearance, whether they are parents, whether they are behaving as a parent should.

exactly this

But I really don’t think the extremity of this type of crime is indicative of it being a ‘low level sexism ramped up’ type issue. I think it’s psychopathy and sadism which unfortunately have always been a rare occurrence in humanity.

it feels like society is more violent but I'm not sure on the actual statistics.

I think we can ‘condition’ men to pull their weight around the house and similar, I don’t think we can ‘condition’ men like this monster.

I think there is an issue with conditioning men to see woman as their equal and many who don't wouldn't fit the definition of "monster".

Our misogynistic culture teaches men they have entitlement to women's bodies, women's support and women's unpaid labour. The recent porn-soaked decades since the internet became mainstream have only intensified this. Teenage girls are told being choked during sex is normal, ffs.

I do agree with this, the Benny Hill sexism is gone but the entitlement hasn't.

I think it's also quite confusing for young people boys & girls to grow up & navigate this culture. On the one hand "only fans" is a legitimate career but girls are slut shamed for nudes. Girls are told to wear what they want & sleep with who they want but in a rape case this could be used against them.
In the Daily Mail etc you are constantly bombarded with images of women often just their torsos in bikinis/underwear & it's empowering to pose like this & have a fake butt or whatever but this then creates body image others.
My bf works with teenagers & she has boys thinking girls want to be choked & girls who don't like it but are scared to say so. It's a mess.