Why is there a movement to reclaim ”slut”, but not a movement that reclaims ”frigid” and ”prude”?

[YouAreNotBatman]

They all are, just the opposite sides, of the misogynystic coin trying to control women’s choices.

And why is virgin shaming still going on if virginity is nothing but a social construct?

There is a movement to rename those ideas I suppose, you see (mostly younger) people now simply announcing that they are asexual and/or aromantic. Asexual is just a more modern term for frigid. I have a niece who openly describes herself as asexual (or “ace”) - like says it on her Facebook profile, has a badge announcing it etc.

Teah, those are not the same thing.

And also, this isin’t asexual bashing thread.

You've literally just asked this on another thread

I think if all women stopped caring and judging other women none of these terms would be in existence. The only people I ever hear using the word slut is women.

Maybe the op wants to see if she gets different answers on the two boards?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/feminism/4695340-why-was-slut-reclaimed-but-prude-and-frigid-wasnt

I'm not sure about virgin shaming.

If you told me you're a virgin in your 30s then I'd probably suspect you are suffering from some kind of trauma. Only because it's unusual for most adults at that age.

Yeah, I would say that is basically what's going on there. People who for any number of reasons aren't into sex - and if you look into it the reasoning and even what "aren't into sex" means varies hugely, are framing it as an identity in order to give it legitimacy. And in fact believe it is an identity, with some kind of underlying coherence.

But OP, in general I would say the desire to reclaim the word slut is very much in line with sexual revolution thinking, which has dominated since the 1960s.

But that way of thinking would be part of the problem.
Why would it matter if someone was a virgin, hell want to remain a virging through their whole life?
Assuming it’s trauma could or would be wrong, and pointless.
Plenty of people have trauma and have sex.
There shouldn’t be any raised eyebrows or wondering about it, it should be totally neutral things.
Assuming everyone wants sex or should have it, is just wrong.

How are “frigid” and “asexual” not the same thing? What’s the difference? And I’m not sure why you felt the need to say this isn’t an “asexual bashing thread”, nothing in my post was critical of asexuals at all.

Why would it matter if someone was a virgin, hell want to remain a virging through their whole life?

If that's the case, then they are asexual. Most people do want to have sex or at least a sexual relationship at some point. Sooner or later.

@Ereshkigalangcleg - I’m not sure it’s right to say that somebody who wants to remain a virgin is definitely asexual - there are people who choose to be virgins for religious reasons or ideas about purity etc, they’re not necessarily uninterested in sex. Asexual people just don’t experience sexual desire, that’s different.

I don’t think anyone own’s a reason to other’s, but it could be just lack of interest (not libido - thise are different things), maybe they don’t like touching or highly independent, so many reasons.

Most may want to have sex, but it still doesn’t give a reason to make virgins/ people who don’t want sex feel like they are unnormal or that there’s something wrong with them.

But anyway, choosing to not have sex and lack of sexual interest (that’s what asexuality is) can and are still two different things.

But if anyone is interested getting back to the main question, I’d like to read about it….

What if someone wants to have a sexual relationship but isn’t willing to compromise on who it is with or the nature of the relationship.

And I agree with GoldenGorilla, some choose it for religious reasons.

There is this OP

wecantconsenttothis.uk

They sell t-shirts saying neo-prude.

I think prude is distinct from frigid.

I was an early developer and harassed by boys constantly age 12/13. They called me frigid because I resisted them trying to touch me up randomly at school. I wasn’t frigid, I just didn’t want to have a multitude of boys touching my breasts and bum the whole time.

I know when sex positivity was first starting in online feminist spaces, there was an attempt to address prude/virgin shaming, as it’s heavily based in misogyny as much as slut shaming is.

But I think because more people are sexually active than not (although there’s studies out there claiming millennials and gen Z are having less and less sex), addressing the fact that women were being shamed for enjoying sex seemed the more pressing concern.

And while being a non-sexually active adult doesn’t have (immediate) relation to asexuality, the asexual community kinda took over that area of saying “this is okay,” for better or worse.