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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

School fundraising for Mermaids - in November 2022!

24 replies

ThatParent2 · 16/11/2022 20:25

NC for this. I just found out that my child’s secondary school is fundraising for Mermaids for Trans Awareness Week 2022. The children are to make ribbons and sell them to swell Mermaids’ coffers.

As a FWR regular, I am not amused. Off the top of my head, I can think of several reasons why Mermaids is not an organisation that should be promoted in schools (data breach, former trustee who likes to write about ‘cumming’ on children, breast binders sent to girls without parents’ consent). Can you help me write my letter to my child’s school? Should I be confrontational or merely concerned? Any links would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
CharlotteFlax · 16/11/2022 20:31

Start writing and we'll help you!

Definitely start with concerns and save any confrontation for later.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 16/11/2022 20:47

The details in this thread about the trustee paedophile supporter, the member of staff (who works directly with children yet has an online porn presence) and the discovery that Mermaids supply girls with breast binders in secret from their parents - all being investigated by the Charity commission - should make any school avoid this group - if they have a functioning safeguarding policy that is?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4652666-mermaids-charity-paedophile-porn-photos-scandal-in-the-press

StillWeRise · 16/11/2022 20:51

definitely raise concerns- teachers are busy and may just think this is a nice way to help some deserving children
or comparison, I have known of schools do a very quick turnaround when they've been told about Samaritan's Purse

ThatParent2 · 16/11/2022 21:51

Here's a first attempt:

Dear X,

I am the x of x, a pupil in your school. My child has told me that Teacher X has instructed the children to make ribbons in baby blue and baby pink (the transgender rights movement's colours) to observe Trans Awareness Week, and to sell them to fellow students. The proceeds are to go to Mermaids, a charity for gender-distressed children.

While I understand that the intentions behind this fundraising drive may be entirely honourable, I am concerned that this particular charity has been promoted in the School. It is possible that Teacher X is not aware that this charity is currently the subject of an investigation by the UK Charity Commission. It is perhaps also possible that the School is not aware that Mermaids had to report itself to the Information Commissioner's Office because of a massive data breach on its website that revealed the personal details of vulnerable children and their families.

Mermaids has also been in the news because of its trustees and staff. Dr Jacob Breslow, an academic whose work legitimises adult erotic interest in children, had to step down from his role as Mermaids trustee after it became known that he spoke at a conference seeking to support 'minor-attracted' adults, i.e. adults with a sexual interest in children. A Mermaids employee, Darren G, was let go after it became known that this employee had posed for pornographic photoshoots and posted them on social media.

It is perfectly possible that this once valuable charity has lost its way and needs time away from the public eye to 'sort itself out', as the saying goes. In the meantime, would it not be prudent if the School steered clear? There are other, perhaps less controversial, organisations that seek to help gender-distressed children, such as Transgender Trend, whose co-founder, XXX, has recently won XXX prize.

The treatment of gender dysphoric children is a highly sensitive area, where we are currently witnessing a profound shift in thinking and practice. Teacher X may not be aware of the NHS Cass Review, which has called for a much more cautious approach to the medical transitioning of minors than that advocated by Mermaids who, though not medically qualified, insist that administering puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones even to children under the age of 16 constitutes best practice. This is highly controversial and I am concerned that our School may be asking young students who lack the maturity to understand these issues to take a stance.

Finally, I do take issue with some of the language used in the funding appeal. My child has just learnt about the biology of human reproduction - but in this document my child is told that 'sex is assigned at birth'. This is inaccurate (my child's sex was very clear at the second prenatal scan) and also confusing. There must be better ways to support children who struggle with their identity than distorting basic facts, especially in an educational context.

Yours etc. etc.

Question: what should I ask the school to do? Should I ask for a meeting?

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 16/11/2022 21:54

I’d keep it brief and why they are supporting an organisation being investigated for serious child safeguarding breaches, including appointing a secret trustee who was a paedophile advocate.

Dontaskdontget · 16/11/2022 21:57

I think your letter is fantasic OP.

Igmum · 16/11/2022 21:57

That's an excellent letter OP. Personally I disagree that Mermaids was once valuable but entirely see why you are saying this. Fingers crossed they agree and support Transgender Trend

MrsOvertonsWindow · 16/11/2022 22:08

That's a good comprehensive letter OP. What you ask for might depend on the school's general approach? Is this likely to be a one off, with an over enthusiastic teacher thinking about the trans agenda rather than the needs of children? Or is the school a Stonewall champion that routinely prioritise the demands of lobby groups with girls forced into toilets & changing rooms with boys etc.
If they're the former then I'd probably just ask for an assurance that Mermaids will not be a focus for fundraising? Then I'd take a closer look at their Equalities, sex ed, pastoral care policies to check that they've not been Stonewalled?

treesandweeds · 16/11/2022 22:25

I'd remove the last paragraph.whilst I agree, you are getting into another agenda there. You just don't want the money to go to mermaids, getting into the whole ideaolgy will distract.

Crouton19 · 16/11/2022 22:42

Does any fundraising have to be for a trans charity? I bet there is some other awareness week or other with a better charitable relevance happening at the same time. It’s World Toilet Day on 19th Nov! The perfect time to explain how children in some countries don’t have toilets at home and girls in particular face discrimination when menstruating, and fundraise for an actual loo.

I don’t think Transgender Trend is a charity.

megletthesecond · 16/11/2022 22:48

Your letter is much better than mine was. IIRC I included the charity commission investigation and binders. Mine did work though and Mermaids were dropped a few days later.
See also Samaritans Purse, couple of paragraphs and links for them to delve deeper. Quickly dropped by school.

Pixiedust1234 · 16/11/2022 22:53

I would keep it brief and say that they are under investigation by the Charity Commission. Ant self-respecting schoo should stop fundraising just on that point.

ThatParent2 · 16/11/2022 22:59

Thank you all for the feedback, much appreciated! I will make the letter shorter and concentrate on the charity commission’s investigation.

OP posts:
Apollo442 · 16/11/2022 23:03

It is worth mentioning that Mermaids is under investigation by the Charity commission for appointing a pedophile apologist as a trustee and handing out breat binders to children behind their parents backs. The National Lottery has suspended payments as a result.

Ramblingnamechanger · 17/11/2022 00:25

Great letter .Good luck

Slig · 17/11/2022 08:01

megletthesecond · 16/11/2022 22:48

Your letter is much better than mine was. IIRC I included the charity commission investigation and binders. Mine did work though and Mermaids were dropped a few days later.
See also Samaritans Purse, couple of paragraphs and links for them to delve deeper. Quickly dropped by school.

Well done!!

Floisme · 17/11/2022 09:03

I agree with others that teachers are busy (which is arguably one reason why Mermaids got the gig in the first place) and to make the letter shorter and to drop the final paragraph for now. (I think I'd save that for a face-to-face meeting.) I would also talk about the Cass review much earlier. I can't see any mention either of the reports about Mermaids and chestbinders. (If it's there, my apologies but again I'd make it more prominent.)

Well done for raising it, I know it's not easy, and good luck.

waterwitch · 17/11/2022 09:50

In the para where you say Mermaids was once a useful charity, I’d include something more specific about it not being in the school’s best interests to be associated with a group who’s approach to child safeguarding is at best negligent.
Good luck, I really hope you manage to get through to them

RoyalCorgi · 17/11/2022 09:52

Excellent letter.

PatientZorro · 17/11/2022 09:54

Spiffing letter OP, good luck

TofuonToast · 17/11/2022 09:57

Great letter! Change ‘massive’ to ‘significant’.

nauticant · 17/11/2022 10:46

It's a good letter but to sharpen the focus/impact, I'd drop the 4th and last paragraphs.

WandaWomblesaurus · 17/11/2022 10:52

And I would explicitly mention the words that Mermaids is ignoring the Cass review.

The letter is fantastic OP!

oldwomanwhoruns · 17/11/2022 11:59

Do go to see the head in person, bearing your letter, OP. Don't just send a letter, which an administrator may file away in the 'difficult parents' file.
Good luck

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