I've been wasting away my morning by
reading Darren's blogs.
The later ones feel angry, and bitter as Darren rages against a world that's disappointed them.
White "cis" gay men come in for a particular bashing.
There's a constant theme of:
"Make-up isn’t just for people with vaginas (or people that wish they had them)."
And that men can wear womens clothes (sorry, clothes that normally would cover vaginas)
Yes Darren, please look at the history of the 70s/80s.
TL;DR Queer Theory will not help you escape your problems.
Darren on volunteering:
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2019/01/13/why-lgbt-industry-needs-to-stop-exploiting-queer-people/
More anger at gay men:
"Unless you are a cis white masculine gay finding work as a queer person can be more of a challenge."
I suspect Darren often has trouble with managers.
"lots of the people in managerial roles (who are also volunteers) often don’t know how treat others right"
And the strangest quote of all:
"pretty people who can afford to work for free."
What has being pretty got to do with being able to volunteer?
In this next blog we don't discuss anything to do with the liberation struggles of Stonewall but go on a little trip down the naval gazing world of queer rights:
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2019/06/28/50-years-since-the-stonewall-riots-these-queer-people-are-looking-to-the-next-50-years/
Firstly we are told "queer people of colour, trans, non-binary and intersex people have been a part of the struggle the whole time." Darren, please leave people with medical conditions out of this.
There's a discussion of whether people should have more labels,
or less labels, and statements such as: "I would like to see a society that reflects that heteronormativity isn’t the norm, nothing is the norm.”
Then we get onto the really important stuff:
"In the next 50 years I want every pub to have a stupid queer night in its upstairs room once a month or more"
Right at the end we get a line about actual issues
"13 countries being queer is punishable by death." Being gay Darren,
not queer.
More bitterness here:
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2020/02/10/do-you-care-when-you-dont-want-to-fuck-it-gay-men-and-fashion/
"When a masc cis white gay changes things up he’s loved. Why? Because he has sex appeal. He looks hot. He’s showing off his gym fit body. But when a femme person does it we get look upon like we are filth, that we don’t belong. Why? Because gay men don’t want to fuck us. "
Darren at a queer fashion show:
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2019/09/25/my-experience-at-london-queer-fashion-show/
I know lots of queer people! Queer people are so interesting! Volunteering is great when I can get in places for free. It was all good except:
"Other than a cis white gay twink who thought hitting on me would get him entrance into the VIP section"
Darren,
not for the first time,
struggles with grammar here:
At one point Mz Kimberly was walking off the runway and I could see Travis Alabanza say “She is an icon! An ICON!” The passion they for their support of Kimberly was amazing and so lovely
Fashion risks are a hoot:
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2019/09/18/studentforever-taking-fashion-risks/
"In my day to day life, I often take risks when it comes to my own wardrobe and fashion choices. The risks I take are risks to me and for me. I think sometimes when we start labeling things as a risk we set boundaries as to what a risk is, when really a risk is personal. What is out of my comfort zone might not be outside of someone else’s comfort zone – it’s all personal!"
"You can take what you currently own and try wearing it in different ways and styling it in ways you wouldn’t of thought. Last week one of my colleagues came into work wearing a dress backwards."
"Marilyn Monroe once said “It’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
Better to be ridiculous than boring? Depends what your job is I guess.
And even more anger at "cis" men:
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2019/01/05/why-we-need-to-stop-policing-non-conforming-peoples-gender-opinion/
"As a non-binary person, I have countless times been told by cis-gendered queer (usually men) people that because of my gender expression, I am not “enough” to use they/them pronouns. I have always found that funny."
"For me, my gender expression changes all the time: sometimes I present more feminine and fabulous, other times I present more masculine."
This is going to shock you Darren, but sometimes even women wear dresses!
Darren feels erased:
"HOWEVER, all and any representation of non-binary and non-conforming people is important and necessary in a world that is constantly trying to erase us."
Darren on Christmas:
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2018/12/14/getting-through-christmas-family-time-as-a-queer-person/
"I know for me that Christmas time with my family will be filled with being misgendered – unintentionally and not to cause harm but still there."
🙄
"If you are a queer person and being with your biological family isn’t an option, call upon some of your chosen family: have a big group Christmas, or gate crash on one of their family meals"
Darren,
don't gatecrash Christmas meals.
Just don't.
"But if spending it with your family is a must then make sure you have a good paid [SIC] of noise cancelling headphones."
Darren I know your masters is from Goldsmiths, but you do need a proof reader. As well as headphones.
"The best gift that you have (AND you gave it to yourself) is being your authentic self."
Darren,
it's fine to wear what you want and use make up.
There are boundaries with professionalism especially if you're working with kids. Hope that helps.
Darren is very upset that people writing in the media are predominantly white males. Irony klaxon.
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2018/12/09/how-inclusive-is-uk-lgbt-media-really/
Finally we get a definition of queerphobia! It's not being camp. Especially if you're LGBTETC
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2019/05/10/my-notes-on-metgalas-camp/
"Sadly, although there were many LGBT+ people on the red carpet, the opportunity to really highlight queer people was lost. Many of the celebrities who came in basic\average clothes, especially those who came plain black suits, showcased a lack of understanding of how important camp is to queer culture. For me, I would go as far as saying those who did not match the theme were being queerphobic."
What does feeling like a man or a women mean Darren?
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2019/03/11/why-ive-stopped-correcting-people-who-misgender-me/
"I don’t feel like a man, I don’t feel like a women, the non-binary identity felt like a home to me in my non-conformity and resilience against the binaries."
"I just love having conversations with people about my gender identity and who I am for them 10 minutes later to then go ahead and call me he to someone whilst I’m there because they are just lazy. It hurts."
"Once upon a time, not too long ago, I would get angry about it, post online and rant about why using he/him pronouns at someone who has quite obviously made it clear that their pronouns are they/them (I mean I often wear a badge with my pronouns on it) is disrespectful and mean."
Also Darren in another blog:
• "Although I identify as gender queer, I am male."
Everyone knows this,
yes.
More anger at gay men :
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2018/05/16/my-struggle-with-alcohol-sobriety-in-the-queer-community/
"I’m someone who wants to engage, be active and take part in queer culture but recently I’ve more and more felt pushed to the side. Not only because I don’t identify as a cis white gay man, but because I don’t want to drink for my own mental health."
What's sad about Darren's blogs is when you've scrolled through the bitter queer years you get to an earlier Darren. A person who is more reflective about their mental health problems including body dimorphism, and eating disorders. Darren seems very hurt by life really, and has had some tough experiences.
The prejudice against "cis white men" could be a form of internalised homophobia.
I feel sorry for Darren actually.
Queer Theory hasn't helped them,
the unhappiness is clear.
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/opening-up-about-my-body-disorder/
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2017/04/22/a-letter-to-my-younger-self/
mxdarren.wordpress.com/2017/09/12/the-power-of-reinvention/
"Every time I’ve had my heartbroken, something has gone wrong or my mental health has decided it wants to play in the deep dark void. I also just like changing up my aesthetic and being inspired by trends, celebrities and other people who live unapologetically as themselves."
You can't escape who you are Darren, none of us can,
you need to learn to love yourself and stop blaming the world for your own problems.
We all have our struggles. They lied to you when they said you could......