Teacher sacked after refusing to use preferred pronouns without first checking with parents

[rogdmum]

“I wanted at least to make sure that my student had parental support and was making an informed decision,’ he said. ‘As a parent myself, I would have been furious if my child had taken this step and I hadn’t been told anything.’

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11246431/Swindon-teacher-sacked-refusing-use-pupils-preferred-pronouns-without-parental-permission.html

I sometimes wonder whether my daughter’s former teachers had any idea her school was supporting her transition (initially) without our knowledge and against clinical advice. I suspect even if they had been aware and had been uncomfortable about doing so, there would have been no way for them to push back against it with management.

At our school, we have to use preferred pronouns and change of name (don't get me started!) even if we know that the parents don't like it.

We are given explicit instructions: when contacting parents use given pronouns and name. Once I forgot and all hell broke lose.

At my daughter’s former school, even the year head and senior management who knew about the clinical advice couldn’t bring themselves to use sex based pronouns with my husband and myself, even when they knew my daughter would never become aware of these conversations. It was like a punch in the gut every time they did so.

When will this madness stop.
we can’t afford to lose good teachers for no reason. Hopefully he wins the unfair dismissal case.

I though the Cass review & Suella Braverman had now said something about this? That it shouldn't happen?

Utterly ridiculous

Isn't the issue here that the parents in question are refusing to support their child to be who they are?

Jgw the article says nothing about the parents at all. It does say that this was rapid onset so much more likely to be an expression of trauma than who this child 'really is'. Unless you support sterilising kids who have been in care, who have autism or who have been traumatised then you may wish to rethink the idea that the best way to decide on appropriate medical treatment is to ask psychologically disturbed young people what they want and doing it with no checks.

At my school, we are required NOT to use preferred pronouns unless we have explicit parental permission. We have to report the request to our well-being lead, who will check with parents. Almost always, the child is one for whom the well being team already have substantial parental contact. I count myself very fortunate indeed.

How do you know they aren't?

The whole issue was the teacher wasn't even allowed to ask!

That's exactly the point.

I hope this case will be important in terms of exposing the lack of safeguarding around this issue. It could potentially put pressure on schools to drop “don’t tell the parents unless the pupil wants them informed” policies.

Is any teacher able to comment? Do parents have the right to know the school’s policy in this regard? If they specifically ask how teachers address their child, wIll they be told?

It's all getting too much

Cass and Suella Braverman haven't stopped anything unfortunately. My school are just bringing in a trans policy which insists on immediate affirmation. Apparently suella Braverman was lying to get elected and Cass is inconclusive.... I am trying to fight it but stories like this terrify me. I know if I get into trouble my union will support the school not me.

Almost always, the child is one for whom the well being team already have substantial parental contact.

Oh, Nellodee, that simple statement tells such a story in itself.

Jgw - what does ‘be who they are’ mean. Most sensible people understand it to mean learning to accept the body that you have, becoming comfortable in your own skin with the support of your family (and mental health support if necessary). With the aim that eventually the distress will resolve- as it does with the majority of children with genders dysphoria, and they can carry on with rest of their life.

I have a suspicion that you think supporting someone to ‘be who they are’ means agreeing with the distress they feel about their body, going along with the role play strategy they are adopting and helping them to medically alter their body and becoming a lifelong experimental medical patient, in an inevitably futile effort to alleviate their distress by attempting to change sex, which everyone (including you) knows is biologically impossible. A very unkind strategy.

@jgw1 the myth of the authentic self! I still kick myself for falling for this in the noughties... it is very difficult to grow when you are afraid every new step is a potential diversion from the "authentic self". It cost me my career. I'll never get those years back.

Parents are there to guide you to be the best version of yourself. They are not there to help you stick to a vision of yourself so fast that you can't grow.

We can't just sack teacher's who are just trying to make sense of this situation. If they ignored getting parental consent on any other issue they would also be reprimanded.
I don't every remember this being an issue when I was at school.

This is Cirencester College, just outside Swindon. I hope he wins his case.

What a principled teacher- so reassuring there are people like him in our schools to challenge this emperors new clothes brainwashing.

I don't know. If the kid was under 16 I would have done much the same myself (though I don't think I'd have refuse to use a nickname) but being over 16 changes the confidentiality issue somewhat. I also think the behaviour he describes is embarrassing and discomforting for the child- I certainly wouldn't have put her name on the board on a list of girls.

As a teacher I am faced with this.

I am aware of the impact of feeling like you’re in the wrong body or feeling like you don’t belong but I often find myself eye rolling over it.

I will happily say a different name (as annoying as it is) as I’ve always done this even if no one is confused over their gender as they often take issues with their names, especially if there are problems at home and they associate the name with their parents or if it’s a name they get bullied for.

But I avoid pronouns.
More so because I honestly can’t keep up because one day they’re ‘he’ then then next day they’re ‘she’ and I forget which parents are supportive and which aren’t, so I just say ‘they’.

IME this isn’t as big of an issue as people/ the media think though.
And it’s the schools cancel culture that’s the issue here.

I find there are only a couple in each year and these are the ones that have many other issues going on and will be the ones to visit the school counsellor regularly or have to have time out of the lesson for anxiety etc.

Fortunately, I work with SEND kids now so things like this are much less common as they’re just themselves and the couple who think they’re the opposite gender are genuine as they don’t just copy the others.

The issue here is the school and it’s really disappointing that they’ve not supported one of their own staff members.

Where does that stop? If a young teenager is clearly starving herself and begs staff not to tell her parents, would that be OK? She wants to be skeletally thin. That's who she believes she is. And yet she's harming herself. I see this as another form of self-harm. Of course parents should be told. They can then seek medical/therapeutic help for their child to help her feel comfortable in her skin and get through the difficult years of puberty. Research from the recent yet incredibly distant past when common sense and critical thinking prevailed in this area suggests that almost all adolescents with gender dysphoria end up feeling comfortable with their bodies as they emerge from puberty, their brains mature and their hormones settle down.

@waterwitch

There will be students who are using different pronouns but their parents don’t know.

We have many parents saying that it’s fine to use different pronouns and names and then there are parents who refuse for any changes at all.

If it’s the second we do try and compromise with the parent and ask if a different nickname can be used or a shortened version, especially if there is self harm involved, but ultimately it is up to the parent.

But this isn’t up to the individual teachers as it goes higher than us and it’s dealt with in meetings with safeguarding leads and other agencies.

As teachers we then do what is agreed in these meetings which is meant to be what’s best for the child.

Particularly gobsmacking element:
^A few weeks later the student wanted to enter a female maths Olympiad.

Mr Lister said: ‘I put the names of the students on the board who wanted to take part and I put her name up on the board as being a female’s name to enter a female maths competition.’ ^
[...]
^He was also told in a letter earlier this month by the school’s vice-principal that [...] he was ‘insensitive’ by writing the female name on the board relating to the Olympiad.

The letter, which announced his dismissal, added: ‘We acknowledge that you are entitled to your beliefs, however, it is my view that your treatment of [the student] violated his dignity.’^

I suppose he could, and perhaps ideally should, have used the student's preferred middle name on the board, but even so...!

I work in education. From what I gather, I believe government advice on this is in the process of changing right now, and schools will be told not to use changed names and preferred pronouns without clearance from parents. This advice is only just in the process of being changed though, so unless a school is currently actively seeking clarification on it, they probably haven't actually been told to do this yet.