Do you know any TRAs in real life?

[TimeAtTheBar]

That aren’t kids or students?

I was out last night with a group of gay men, in a pub (one is the manager) that is festooned with pride flags.

We got on to the subject, as you do, and every single one of my friends said the same; men have cocks, women have vaginas and they wouldn’t go within ten feet of a naked vagina even if the owner said they were a man.

I have to say I was a bit surprised as I assumed they were all fully paid up wokesters based on the flag flying and Pride attendance. Nope. Turns out they all think the trans thing is a fringe belief and they enjoy Pride while ignoring it.

I’m surrounded by woke teenagers at home and some at work that tell me I’m out of touch and the entire gay movement is in step with ‘trans rights’ ie twaw. But my not very scientific sample of gay men aged 24-55 would say otherwise. All my lesbian friends are terfy anyway but this did give me pause/hope.

Yep. My best friend. Its one of the only subjects we disagree on.

I mean there are people who support 'Trans women are women' and people who dress up in black, shove women about, scream in their face then cover themselves in piss.

Two very different sets of people.

I do know a few people who believe TWAW but I dont know any real life TRA

Yes, but they are themselves trans.

My former best friend.
We had had a few discussions about self Id and it was clear we disagreed. And then I voiced my opinion on my Instagram about abortion, she went mad calling me a bigot and transphobe because I had repeatedly used the phrase "women and girls" and did not centre how someone identified. We are no longer friends, not just because of that.

And my husband's best friend is not a tra but will repeat how "jk Rowling is a transphobe" "jk Rowling is x,y,z, should be cancelled, deserves everything that happens to her, is no friend to trans people" I just roll my eyes at her.

Even my woker than woke 17yo who I know goes by ‘they’ with her friends is secretly a bit terfy at home.

I do know (socially) a trans man who I’ve had a fairly robust conversation with about the mechanics of actually changing sex, and even they weren’t TWAW/TMAM. And this is somebody who’s had surgery and hormones.

So who are these activists who proclaim to be speaking for the trans community?

I did go down a bit of a rabbit hole earlier regarding royal succession and religion and it did occur to me that there are a lot of similarities. Religion where the peasants are expected to blindly believe but those in power can just change the rules to suit themselves.

Most my friends sadly. They aren't the types to shout at strangers on the Internet but they'll like stuff about pronouns and people being stunning and brave and disliking JK Rowling.

Yes I know adult women who are TRA’s of varying degrees of enthusiasm. Some willing to bully and exclude women who don’t see things their way, some who seem less up for that but nonetheless believe that TWAW should be in women’s prisons, refuges etc none of them identify as men but some identify as queer. None are physically violent as far as I know but very much into cancel culture and use language which might suggest that anyone who disagrees with them doesn’t deserve kindness, or even human rights in some cases. They are convinced that their cause is so great, the means justifies the end basically.

I know a few trans people but I don't know any TRAs. My teens don't believe people can change sex. My 17y old said to me in the car this morning, 'why do people keep saying there are more than 2 genders?'

I know two trans women, both late 50's, had full op. I didn't realise one of them was trans, I thought she was biologically female. Both are two of the loveliest kindest women I know. Both say they are biological males if you ask. If Albertans woman were as nice as these two I wouldn't have any issue.

I have had an encounter with another person who said he was a trans woman. I have never seen a woman stand up to pee, facing the wall (How a man would) in the ladies with the door open. I felt uncomfortable in the toilets with him.

I have an issue with people like him but have no idea how we go about splitting them.

There's no need to split them, all the people in your post (except you) should be using the men's.

It's actually quite simple we don't

man who invades women's privacy no matter how lovely or kind they may seem are still a threat, Even if they themselves are a not a threat what they stand for is

No 'activists' that I know of but my husband is convinced that I'm gc because I've been brainwashed by a Tory agenda (I'm not a Tory!) and that prisons and toilets are 'not an issue'. We have a trans acquaintance who is a lovely person, but was extremely vehement when describing the BBC's and JK Rowling's terfness to my teens.

Yes, a couple of colleagues (teachers). I doubt they are the balaclava-wearing type, but they have a lot of influence.

Yes. I lost some friends because I didn't agree that TWAW and them raising money for another friends child to go to Gender GP a couple of months after they decided they were now a boy, with no counselling first etc. Horrible bigot, I am.

The couple of friends are now non binary themselves and have trans kids.

I'm perplexed at how anyone celebrates their children hating themselves. But I'm on the wrong side of history and need to educate myself, do better, so far so TRA script, etc etc.

Yes, my MP unfortunately. It means that there is no point in writing to her about any of these issues as her mind is completely closed on the topic and she will refuse to listen to the concerns of her constituents.

Mind you, she is clearly bonkers about quite a lot of things , not just this, and has had several run ins with the police when losing control a few years ago.

Most of my friends are TRAs to some degree. In fact a young person I know. Someone who was born to a friend who had an unplanned pregnancy in her early 20s, recently crowd funded for top surgery in eastern Europe and loads of my friends contributed to it. I struggle to get my head around it.

I have never worked with as many gay people as I do at the moment (just an observation). All the lesbians I have spoken to about trans issues would be classed as terfs. The gay men are extremely dismissive of "trannies" and have no truck with the insane bullshit. There is a lovely transman whom I work with and is instantly recognisable as being female.
I have to add these are just the gay colleagues I have spoken with, I dont know what all my gay colleagues views are.

I know none, not even my teenage children think TWAW. In fact the concept of a 'woman's penis' is a constant source of mirth in our house.

One daughter has a friend who uses pronouns and is now non-binary but it's all pretty low key stuff. No really lunatic ideas thank God.

When I read on here about TRAs that people know I'm amazed. Honestly, if I didn't read the news/social media I would have no idea it was even a thing 😂

I work at a university so yes - a few colleagues.
People who go on about how you should have pronouns in your signature/be an ally (and are serious about it, not just bandwagon jumping) and people who complain if you ask why it doesn't have the word "woman" in the workplace pregnancy policy. I'm in STEM and even had a colleague from my department (not a biologist) say that there were definitely more than two sexes, in a meeting!
We have all been on Teams for the whole of the last few years, so I wonder what will happen once we are back F2F, will their boldness continue?

I'm also thinking of going to a new book group but their info says they all share pronouns at the start so I'm fairly sure I'll set the cat among the pigeons if I refuse to.

All those I know, I know through the charity sector. The women I mentioned who identify as queer and are the bullying kind of TRA (through traditional female means of ostracism, “cancelling”, and verbal unpleasantness, not physical violence) are all in relationships with men, mostly married, all mothers.

I have converted 2 so far.

My 16yo DD has been captured. I can't change her mind. She is full TWAW/TMAM and AFAB/AMAB. I hope once she experiences them"real world" of the fucking unfairness of being female she might change her tune.

But everyone else thinks it's bollocks. Especially my LGB pals.

Yes, I know a few.

Yes, a deeply misogynistic transman whose wife is allegedly always being assaulted by random women, and two mothers whose identity is heavily bound up in being Mermaids parents.

Yes, one friend of 30+ years is full bore TRA, in favour of paediatric transition, untrammelled self ID, the irrelevance of biology and pronouns instead of a handshake.

I just have to stay away from the topic. I can’t bear her on it. I’ve no idea when she got this unhinged and mean. I dare say she thinks the same about me, in regard to whatever she imagines I think, which she doesn’t know because she’s never actually asked, just assumed (and told our mutual friends).

it looks really bad now I write it down