What does living authentically mean?

[Hiphopfrogger]

I see this a lot - I have to be true to myself/live authentically/see myself looking back at me in the mirror etc.

But what on earth does it mean, and why is it so important? Most of the time I’m too busy to even think about who I am (and barely look in a mirror!). Surely it’s better to consider what we DO, how we affect the people around us and what we can bring to the world, than just who we ARE.

I’m trying to not say anything that would get this thread deleted, but it seems this obsession with gender is so terribly inward looking, and something most women just don’t actually have any time for. Or do I have it all wrong?

Not seeking external validation / knowing yourself. Not giving yourself to others all the time. Knowing how to say ‘No’. Authenticity is a big piece in psychotherapy. It can be connected to letting go of generational trauma, living in the here and now. Etc etc

I remember a young, new starter who was neurodiverse declaring that she was into anime and cosplaying in her "tell me something interesting about yourself" introduction.

What's wrong with this? Surely it's no different to sharing that you're into any other hobby like model railways or origami or sugarcraft. What kind of things are people meant to say in response to that question?

You've said it better than I could. This is authenticity, to me. It's what I strive to do.

I think others would have paused. Unfortunately and probably due to her disability, this person gave too many details. We like to pretend we live in a society where no one judges anyone else, but the real world doesn't work like that. Pretending that it does and that this is helpful to people with disabilities is a cruel con trick in my view.

I'm afraid you've lost me… if she spent longer than anyone else giving her answer and/or gave inappropriately personal detail, then fair enough, but in themselves, anime and cosplay are harmless, ordinary hobbies, no more intrinsically inappropriate than saying that you like watching historical dramas and sometimes do historical reenactment. What are people expected to say when asked this question?

It typically means doing whatever you can to avoid a certain key truth about yourself.

The truth never needs to declare itself, therefore "living authentically" is redundant as a descriptive phrase.

The most useful thing related to it is something like know yourself, I think. Don't lie to yourself. Try to see yourself clearly.

But a lot of times it's an excuse for self-indulgence of one kind or another.

I always wonder, how did a person live authentically when we were in gaves, digging up roots or chasing antelope?

One of the things I find interesting about a lot of modern pseudo-psychology like this is it seems to say the opposite of what all the major spiritual traditions tell us, which is something like, we need to trancend the self, or the ego, that striving to assert ourselves or be validated is not will give us a good life.

'Living authentically' means being selfish, having no care as to how your behaviour impacts on others, expecting others to affirm whatever you want to believe about yourself and disregarding any boundaries anyone or society may put in place however reasonable or safeguarding those boundaries are. It is an excuse for any and all behaviour - you must not criticise me because I am living authentically. I am doing exactly what I want and you can't stop me.

I think this question actually shows how transphobic gender ideology is. Why do they insist that a transwoman is a woman? It's not an insult to say that a transwoman is a transwoman, and that's different to a woman! You would only think that's an insult if you look down on trans people

Surely to live authentically as a trans person would be to fully accept that one is trans.
Ie

• accepting that you are biologically <whichever sex you actually are>
• recognising with self-compassion any challenges you face such as gender dysphoria, AGP, ASD, <whatever>
• valuing your own interests and personality, without reference to gender norms
• not accepting illegal discrimination
• recognising that you are not the same as someone with the opposite biological sex to you, even if you would like to be
• thinking about how your actions impact on others (eg in the use of single sex spaces, asking people to use different pronouns) and balancing your desires against the impact on other people
• campaigning for things which will make your life better without disproportionately making life worse for other groups in society (eg third gender-neutral spaces, rather than removing women's SS spaces)

Excellent post justwalking

That is not incongruent with what I learned from transwomen at university and sums up what a lot of trans people I follow on twitter seem to think.

The fact that this isn't what this current iteration of trans ideology is asking for tells us quite a lot about who is accepting and pushing these ideas. For example, it suits a lot of organisations to adopt trans ideology because it doesn't trouble their male centric status quo and it is cheap to stick all gender signs on female loos.

For males - doing what you want and nobody standing in your way.

For females - shut the fuck up and don't get in their way else they will get you sacked.

Is my understanding.

@JustWaking that's my experience with the trans men and women, non binary and just plain old 'people" I know. Well, the ones which never went looking for their authentic selves and 'settled' for being comfortable in their own skin.

Who I am is who I am. My differences define me but do not set me apart.

Well I suppose then, TW would see themselves as having spent their lives pretending to be men, and want to now live authentically as women. But without a definition of ‘woman’ (and I’ve never seen a definition except for the blindingly obvious adult human female), then what does that even mean?

This is the heart of the issue for me. You can't make 'living authentically as women' definable. To use one kind of 'marker' of sex as an example, I have short hair that I don't blow-dry/style. I don't wear make-up. I never wear heels. I'm almost never seen in a skirt or dress. In those senses I 'look' more like a man (as our society sees it). But I'm unarguably a woman. I cannot live 'authentically' or 'unauthentically' as a woman. I just am one.

A trans-identifying man can obviously wear a dress if he wants to, wear make-up and heels. But he won't be a woman.

Clothes, cosmetics etc are gendered, not sexed.