Urgent help please! Trans lesson in primary school

[CantSayNothing]

Evening ladies of the feminism board

I am in urgent need of your help. I have been a lurker on these boards for a long time and read the intelligent and rational arguments and counter arguments put forward by countless posters (some of whom are regrettably no longer around) about the explosion around the transgender issue in recent years.

I absolutely believe in biological sex being fixed and real and anything else is personal preferences, personality, presentation. So far I have been a quiet, petition signing GC supporter, but I fear I am going to have to put my money where my mouth is and come out, as it were, with a bang.

I've had notice that my daughters primary school is planning to run a course of sex education lessons next term (she is year 6) which I have no issue with in theory. BUT one of the lesson plans has completely floored me.

Called: Gender Issues Relationships, it reads like an absolute trans gender woo manifesto with enough red flags to decorate the entire school in bunting .... 'assigned female at birth' ... 'gender identity' ..... 'in the wrong body'... 'discuss the difference between transgender and transvestite' ... 'clothes appropriate to the opposite sex' ....

They will also be 'introducing the idea that intersex people have anatomy that is not male or female, in the same lesson.

The clincher for me is the link they are recommending the teacher uses to introduce transgender children ... a 7 year out of date BBC news article by Victoria Derbyshire about two very confused little 6-8 yo boys who preferred to play with dolls and hello kitty therefore obviously should be actual girls. The srticle helpfully suggests contacting mermaids for more support :

bbc.in/1yQCpRw

My initial response to this lesson plan is "absofuckinlutely not!"

I will 100% not give consent for my daughter (who has already expressed some gender confusion and mooted the idea of being non binary and then reverted to her biological self after a while of dressing slightly gender non confirmingly) to have her confusion endorsed and promoted in this way, even have her signposted to organisations that have supported so many children in extraordinary acts of self harm.

But i also feel very strongly that this lesson should not be presented, to impressionable 10 and 11 year olds, by an authority figure like their teacher as though this ideology is in any way based in fact rather than stereotypes and confusion at all.

I feel it could sow some very dangerous ideas for their teenage years, coming on the back of a set of 'sex, friendship, and healthy relationships' lessons and given the same weight and authority.

I want to go and speak to the headteacher / safeguarding / whoever i need to, ideally to get this lesson removed from the course, if not at minimum highly amended so that it focuses more on:

'you all have these wonderful biological male/female bodies that can do amazing things, which will be going through some unsettling changes pretty soon, and it is normal to feel confused about where you fit in and question your feelings and emotions.

'You can like what you like, wear what you want, style your hair and makeup however you like, take part in any hobbies, have feelings for people of the opposite or same sex, but this does not mean that you are "in the wrong body" ... you are your body, and your feelings are all ties up in the same self '

Please please could someone (Or many someones) help me take this apart so I don't get tongue tied and incoherently babble about gender stereotypes being pushed at our children at unprecedented levels in society and no bloody wonder there's an explosion of young female children wanting to stop the noise.

Thank you so much

[WarriorN]

Whoa. What scheme is that or is it self written? How have you been able to see it? Is it on the website?

[WarriorN]

This completely goes against guidelines.

SSAUK have template letters on their website. If you know the company/ charity who've written them they may be there too.

Website is v good to add to an email to detail what's inappropriate and where guidelines say so.

[Musomama1]

Good luck OP, your post sums up your reservations and the issues beautifully, I'm sure you'll be great at communicating this with whoever. Watching with interest.

[WarriorN]

I believe the "intersex" part goes against what charities for people with variations of sexual development advocate for.

Firstly intersect is outdated and offensive, giving and Indication there's a third sex when all individuals are either male or female. They may also have disabilities either physical (heart) learning difficulties. Very likely to be infertile and as such would be likely not to want to discuss any of this in class or have their bodies discussed.

[Winterhail]

Do you have the option of withdrawing your daughter from these classes? I would imagine you won't be the only concerned parent.

[User3568975431146]

That's your belief but unfortunately it's inaccurate so please afford your child a proper education so they do not end up as close minded as you.

[WarriorN]

I'm so glad you're switched on to the harm op. Your daughter is lucky.

She won't be grappling with early menopause due to puberty blockers, loss of verbal memory and life long osteoporosis and early incontinence.

[Soontobe60]

@User3568975431146

That's your belief but unfortunately it's inaccurate so please afford your child a proper education so they do not end up as close minded as you.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Catnuzzle]

User, what is inaccurate about what the OP has said? Please can you be specific as I'm struggling to see anything wrong.

[ShandaLear]

@User3568975431146

That's your belief but unfortunately it's inaccurate so please afford your child a proper education so they do not end up as close minded as you.

Please elucidate us with your superior knowledge 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Musomama1]

@User3568975431146

That's your belief but unfortunately it's inaccurate so please afford your child a proper education so they do not end up as close minded as you.

Who's idea of a proper education? This sounds like it's straight from a lobby group who have their own agenda. Let's look at some of these ideas, what's accurate about the term 'assigned female at birth'? Sex is observed in the womb. Why do 10 year olds need to discuss transvetitism - which many people do as an adult male fetish?

[McDuffy]

I sent this to my kids' school this week when I had the PHSE(?) letter that used the word gender instead of sex.

sex-matters.org/take-action/send-guidance-to-school/

[FrancescaContini]

@User3568975431146

That's your belief but unfortunately it's inaccurate so please afford your child a proper education so they do not end up as close minded as you.

OMFG

OP - complain very very loudly about this brainwashing hogwash.

[Thelnebriati]

The Govt has issues statutory guidelines for PHSE lessons.
You have the right to withdraw your child from lessons. The school must consult with parents about content, and there are rules they must follow about using external providers.

"You will need to decide the outline of your curriculum and consult with parents and carers on the policy before finalising it."
On the providers:
"You should also conduct a basic online search (as parents and carers may do this). It is important that anything you or parents and carers would be concerned about is addressed beforehand."
www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum

[CorvusPurpureus]

I'm a teacher.

This was going to happen in my school. It had been 'planned' by an otherwise busy colleague who was simultaneously running quite a lot of other stuff which was, you know, related to teaching her subject - she is also a HOY, & therefore PSHCE was her additional thing. She'd trustingly downloaded a pile of resources from an ostensibly trustworthy supplier, & disseminated them uncritically to the tutors she line managed.

I booked a 10 minute meeting with her. I told her that I would not be teaching this, my dds (they attend the school) would not be attending these lessons.

I explained why. That took about 5 minutes. She was aghast. Thanks MN!

The lessons were re-written.

It honestly didn't take that much of a push.

My colleague was completely a potential useful idiot in this scenario, but she is normally a fabulous Head of Year, & I completely can't fault a) her professionalism or b) her pastoral care of my youngest. She's generally awesome.

But she was totally about to ditch everything she knew about safeguarding because she was over stretched & thought that her thinking could safely be outsourced on this one.

Talk to teachers. Ask us questions. Make us justify stuff. Please, be That Parent on safeguarding issues like this.

[WarriorN]

Corvus, you describe exactly the problem schools have.

Most teachers are struggling to get through each term and day and turn to twinkl and any resource they can lay their hands on. They often join fb groups and pinch ideas from others. Some of the pshe groups wilfully go against guidelines.

With regards to planning for pshe I don't know how many would be reading updates to guidance and would go straight to the curriculum and take it from there, supplementing what they can find, as above.

Over the last 10 years schools encouraged subject leaders, who can be staff who've only been teaching a few years, to be fully in charge of their subjects. Previously under Labour, the gov had written schemes of work to follow. Now staff write them or buy into them. (I've done both for my subject, bloody hours it's taken over several years)

Recent issues around sexual assaults in schools and implications around county lines etc has meant that pshe is starting to be led by senior leaders (it is in mine) but even then they may not have a clue. I recently pointed out new slt lead of this area towards SSAUK as pshe was her new subject and she didn't have a clue if any of it.

Please challenge it and refer to guidelines and SSAUK. You could also refer them to dsdfamilies who explain why "I" isn't appropriately included in lgbtq etc.

[WarriorN]

This rubbish will only be dealt with when the harm is explicitly outlined in safeguarding documentation.

Cass will influence this but it will take time.

Unfortunately it looks like the latest update of keeping children safe fudges it.

[KittenKong]

@User3568975431146

That's your belief but unfortunately it's inaccurate so please afford your child a proper education so they do not end up as close minded as you.

Haha - seriously? 🙄

[Looneytune253]

My 11 year old is trans. They spent their final year in primary confused and angry and upset about going to school it was a massive change. They told us they would rather be a boy and we SUPPORTED them, as we're decent parents, and this has changed them entirely. They're now happy and confident and loving school again. If my child had these lessons in school they might have realised sooner and not had such a horrendous year 6. Seriously there's nothing wrong with loving happily whether you want to beat it out of them or not. Sounds like the olden days where parents would be disowning their gay children

[loislovesstewie]

@User3568975431146

That's your belief but unfortunately it's inaccurate so please afford your child a proper education so they do not end up as close minded as you.

Please quote the inaccuracies in the post. Please show how any of the comments prove a lack of 'proper education'? Please tell us why opinions have to be shown as fact, because a lot of this is just that, opinion.
Nothing that has been said is disrespectful to anyone who is trans. I'm with JKR on this, you can do what you want to your body, have sex with anyone who is willing, BUT don't force your beliefs on me.

[KittenKong]

Half baked lessons in schools given by people not trained in this area is not the way to go. This is why we need professionals to be allowed to do their jobs.

[ChagSameachDoreen]

@Looneytune253

My 11 year old is trans. They spent their final year in primary confused and angry and upset about going to school it was a massive change. They told us they would rather be a boy and we SUPPORTED them, as we're decent parents, and this has changed them entirely. They're now happy and confident and loving school again. If my child had these lessons in school they might have realised sooner and not had such a horrendous year 6. Seriously there's nothing wrong with loving happily whether you want to beat it out of them or not. Sounds like the olden days where parents would be disowning their gay children

It's nothing like objecting to homophobia. That's a completely different thing.

Do you honestly believe that your daughter was born into the wrong body? That's a quasi-religious concept, like reincarnation or transsubstantiation.

It's a flimsy belief system that is harming children. It should not be taught in schools.

[Whatwouldscullydo]

@Looneytune253

My 11 year old is trans. They spent their final year in primary confused and angry and upset about going to school it was a massive change. They told us they would rather be a boy and we SUPPORTED them, as we're decent parents, and this has changed them entirely. They're now happy and confident and loving school again. If my child had these lessons in school they might have realised sooner and not had such a horrendous year 6. Seriously there's nothing wrong with loving happily whether you want to beat it out of them or not. Sounds like the olden days where parents would be disowning their gay children

Its a bit of a precarious position isn't it?

The well being of your child being outsourced to strangers and children at that? What will happen.outside the primary school bubble?

Agencies should not be making children responsible fir everyone else's health akd well.being. they are children their jobs are to go to school amd learn and grow. They do not go to be unpaid carers to children triggered by reality.

Children are the responsibility of parents not eachother.

[MrsOvertonsWindow]

Give them this to read OP - it's about the psychological dangers of socially transitioning very young children:

www.transgendertrend.com/childhood-social-transition/

Well done for being prepared to tackle the school. Material written by advocates for queer theory has no business being in schools.

[Clangyleg]

Looneytune what does this mean for an eleven year old? She wants to be seen as a boy? Avoid the awful harassment that girls get at that age? Understandable. But will this lead to her wanting to go all the way with puberty blockers and other hormones which cause many medical problems later on? Will she want to have her breasts amputated and other dangerous surgery with your support? Are you aware of the numbers of girls and young women who regret their decision and try to detransition later ? She can dress as she wants, and this may or may not allow some protection, but there are real dangers up ahead.