Urgent help please! Trans lesson in primary school

[CantSayNothing]

Evening ladies of the feminism board

I am in urgent need of your help. I have been a lurker on these boards for a long time and read the intelligent and rational arguments and counter arguments put forward by countless posters (some of whom are regrettably no longer around) about the explosion around the transgender issue in recent years.

I absolutely believe in biological sex being fixed and real and anything else is personal preferences, personality, presentation. So far I have been a quiet, petition signing GC supporter, but I fear I am going to have to put my money where my mouth is and come out, as it were, with a bang.

I've had notice that my daughters primary school is planning to run a course of sex education lessons next term (she is year 6) which I have no issue with in theory. BUT one of the lesson plans has completely floored me.

Called: Gender Issues Relationships, it reads like an absolute trans gender woo manifesto with enough red flags to decorate the entire school in bunting .... 'assigned female at birth' ... 'gender identity' ..... 'in the wrong body'... 'discuss the difference between transgender and transvestite' ... 'clothes appropriate to the opposite sex' ....

They will also be 'introducing the idea that intersex people have anatomy that is not male or female, in the same lesson.

The clincher for me is the link they are recommending the teacher uses to introduce transgender children ... a 7 year out of date BBC news article by Victoria Derbyshire about two very confused little 6-8 yo boys who preferred to play with dolls and hello kitty therefore obviously should be actual girls. The srticle helpfully suggests contacting mermaids for more support :

bbc.in/1yQCpRw

My initial response to this lesson plan is "absofuckinlutely not!"

I will 100% not give consent for my daughter (who has already expressed some gender confusion and mooted the idea of being non binary and then reverted to her biological self after a while of dressing slightly gender non confirmingly) to have her confusion endorsed and promoted in this way, even have her signposted to organisations that have supported so many children in extraordinary acts of self harm.

But i also feel very strongly that this lesson should not be presented, to impressionable 10 and 11 year olds, by an authority figure like their teacher as though this ideology is in any way based in fact rather than stereotypes and confusion at all.

I feel it could sow some very dangerous ideas for their teenage years, coming on the back of a set of 'sex, friendship, and healthy relationships' lessons and given the same weight and authority.

I want to go and speak to the headteacher / safeguarding / whoever i need to, ideally to get this lesson removed from the course, if not at minimum highly amended so that it focuses more on:

'you all have these wonderful biological male/female bodies that can do amazing things, which will be going through some unsettling changes pretty soon, and it is normal to feel confused about where you fit in and question your feelings and emotions.

'You can like what you like, wear what you want, style your hair and makeup however you like, take part in any hobbies, have feelings for people of the opposite or same sex, but this does not mean that you are "in the wrong body" ... you are your body, and your feelings are all ties up in the same self '

Please please could someone (Or many someones) help me take this apart so I don't get tongue tied and incoherently babble about gender stereotypes being pushed at our children at unprecedented levels in society and no bloody wonder there's an explosion of young female children wanting to stop the noise.

Thank you so much

I note by the way that ageism is still massively acceptable amongst the be kind brigade

They have to justify their actions somehow. Smells like guilt to me…

I'm 66, none of my friends were bullied for being gay or bi, and I didn't do any bullying. Yes it happened to some, yes there was ludicrous legislation, but many people saw it for what it was and campaigned against homophobia. To many, it was a case of love who you like, have sex with any consenting adult you like. Why do you think homosexual activity was decriminalized, if it wasn't for widespread belief that it was no-one else's business?

That's obv a good thing but it wasn't always like that. Hopefully in years to come trans people will also be widely accepted for who they are

By more accepting read more easily manipulated.

Its abusive to brainwash children in order to save adults the hassle of having to say no to their child. If honesty was easy everyone would be honest all the time. There's a reason sometimes that it's easier to lie/pretend.

But children should not be mislead about something so important as sex. No good comes of confusing children about the reality of their own eyes and ears. And their bodies. No good comes of it.

I know of two girls that insisted on wearing boys clothes, shoes and plates only with boys. They are both openly gay now but happy in their female body. They both say they were confused as young women and didn’t feel like the other girls and that the only way they could make sense of it at that time was to express male characteristics. They now recognise that was their sexuality beginning to make its mark. I worry that many young people are being treated as transgender candidates too early.

@Whatwouldscullydo honestly you know nothing about my parenting style. Not saying no has never been part of how we treat our children. We just love them and support them how they are that's all. They have defo had boundaries etc as they were growing up etc

BTW, accepting trans people for who they are doesn't mean telling kids that they should permanently alter their bodies. An adult doing that is one thing, a child no. They always need the option to stop and say ,actually, I am not trans.

I agree

Bollocks.
What part of the OP is incorrect?

Accepting your kids as they are is the pinnacle of parenting. Giving them a label at age 11, when everything we know about adolescence is it is a time of needing to fit in, adopt a "persona", find a route to adulthood, is limiting them. Why can they not be who they are, just that. It is not just the kids identifying as trans who are harmed by these ideas, it is all the others who are by default labelled "cis". Give people the freedom to express themselves properly without limiting to labels. The idea of living "as female" is a backwards thinking idea that is completely incoherent, unless you resort to stereotypes.

But the bounderies don't stretch to not involving unconsenting strangers and children in this?

It doesn't bother you that 10 year olds come home to their parents having to check its ok to think their body is OK as it is? Worrying that they will have to share spaces with people they know are the opposite sex ? That they are talking about surgeries as a result of adults they trusted telling them that sometimes bodies are wrong?

Why does my kid have to be involved in supporting your kid?

They aren't "living male / female" and it is ridiculous and harmful to tell them that they are doing any such thing.

What they are doing is dressing and presenting in ways that we are socialy conditioned to think of as "masculin / feminin".

And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm all for kids wearing what they want. But telling them they can change sex is a lie.

As a previous poster pointed out, the vast majority of children who go through gender dysphoria turn out to be gay if they are not transed by the adults in their lives.

Which makes trans ideology not only deeply sexist but also deeply homophobic.

Good luck OP. Just go for it and use the resources posted here. In all likelihood you will find that the situation is exactly as a teacher posted about above - the material has been cobbled together by some poor overworked teacher who hasn't thought it through.

It's appaling that kids could be told such nonsense by an authority figure in their place of learning. There will no doubt be gay children in the school and they have a right to be protected from what is essentialy a gay conversion ideology.

@Whatwouldscullydo fucking hell, seriously!! I would thing it was obvious that we would bring them all up to accept others. If not we'd be raising bullies

I don't think people should criticise parents on here for trying to navigate this difficult situation. The pressures on them are immense and there's little sympathetic knowledgable help available because of all the intimidation of professionals.
Hopefully everyone can read the links I posted upthread and those involved in socially transitioning children can think about how easy it is for children to back away from this as they mature. Especially if they realise that they're actually lesbian / gay or it's just a reaction to the pressures of puberty / adolescence.

living male or female day to day shows just how much this is about dress up and pretend.
gender is just performance, its not based on any reality. You may like to try your hand at being a boy, or a girl, which is all well and good, apart from the fact that that can only happen if you are relying on gender as a building blcok pick and mix of incredibly sexist stereotypes. And it doesnt change the fundamental reality of biological sex, which try as you might, you simply cannot change.

The issue is that people are treated differently depending upon whether society views them as male or female. I can see the young people are angry about that, and I can totally sympathise with it, and understand why they would like it to change, and for people to just view them as 'them'. I really can. Young people have always been the activists shouting out for rights of the minorities in the face of realisation of how bloody awful life is for all but the rich white heterosexual men. Twas ever th same. But it is society thats wrong and needs changing - NOT these childrens bodies or grasp of reality. Girls shouldnt have to dress up as boys, or identify as boys, in order to be taken seriously, to not be hassled and gawped at, to be sexually objectified. And vice versa for boys who dont fill the macho role.

Unfortunately the drivers of this agenda have chosen to indoctrinate this natural uncomfortablness of the youth, this drive for fairness, for far than ulturistic reasons. They need transgenderism to be present in children, to validify their claims that 'gender' is intrinsic and present from birth - that its not a mental health issue. ie they dont want an examination that seperates those for whom it is (transexuals/gender dysphorics, a tiny minority of people) from those for whom it is a sexual fetish (ie transvestites - by far the largest group of older transitioning males) Children and passionate 'human rights' youth are the foot soldiers caught up in this. Sadly the kids dont really understand who or what they are defending, as their assertions in the whole are correct, but theyve been hoodwinked and twisted to actually prop up the very stereotypes they are supposedly fighting against.

Just repeating those links - please everyone, if you've not looked at these yet, have a read and then share them with schools / teachers who are unthinkingly socially transitioning other people's children:

www.transgendertrend.com/teenager-says-theyre-transgender/

www.transgendertrend.com/childhood-social-transition/

I feel real sympathy for any child who has a DSD in this current climate. It is a very private and personal matter. Imagine a young girl getting on with her life having to listen to someone (and inevitably her friends) start spouting nonsense that people with these conditions are neither male or female. How is that in anyway going to help her.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond ... and for the links and advice I'm taking it all on board. I spent a fair bit of last night (and the early hours of the morning 💤) reading on Transgender Trend website.

I left a message at the school reception this morning that I want a call from the safeguarding lead or the headteacher, although the last day of term and jubilee mufty day may not be the best day to get their undivided attention ...

I think I'd be better face to face where I can print some of the things out and take them in so I will ask for an actual meeting rather than a rushed phonecall.

I will try to attach an image of the lesson plan they have sent me, see if anyone recognises the source.

It is daunting to stick my head above the parapet publicly, especially as the company I work for is still a Stonewall subscriber and has strong views on their staff opinions on social media, but (as the username goes) this is just too important to let slide.

Thank you for helping me back up my argument with solid sources and facts

Sorry that picture was so small and rubbish, I'll give it another go

I would say that this ideology is actually inducing dysphoria in children. Its no coincidence that the numbers have risen at an exponential rate year on year since the idea first received traction on the internet, and then spread into schools. and its not due to greater awareness

actually sorry, misread that and realise you are talking about DSDs. people who never wanted to be mixed up with the trans ideology or pulled under their umbrella

loislovesstewie· Today 08:43

I was just going to make a similar observation - a generation ago such a girl would have been called a tomboy, and it wasn't a big deal. And as the poster says, most grew up to be perfectly happy women but still preferring activities labelled as male.

fortunately though that was the 70s where it was accepted girls could do all those things & not be boys

And all children tended to dress in bright primary colours (for play at least); we didn't have this rash of pink everywhere for girls.

'Changing to female again'?

You mean that you believe...that your 11 year old daughter...has stopped being a female human being?

Come on. You're a mother. You know that's utter bollocks.