"I am detransitioning. MtFtNB. No more lies and fairy tales."

[GCRich]

I know that there are so many videos out there now, but here's another one... post-surgery MtF detransitioner... interesting to note that he says that at the age of 24 he had no idea what a mistake he was making. Not being funny, but what percentage of post-surgery regret would be acceptable? Given the extreme thing that "bottom surgery" is [honesty self-censored to avoid typical MN over-moderation, despite the fact that "bottom-surgery" is a gaslighting and deceptive term which TRAs use to help gaslight young and vulnerable people], and given that it catgeorically cannot do what it implies it can (make you change sex) I would argue that one in a thousand or one in ten thousand being regretful is too many. And I supect it is more like one in two, or 90 in 100, or 99 in 100. Are there any trans youtubers who seem genuinely well adjusted and happy? (Maybe an unfair question as one might argue it is impossible to look well adjusted whilst being a youtuber!)

Joystir59 - I did watch that video to the end, but I am increasingly unable to watch all the detrans content I see - so much of it is just so heartbreaking. How on earth can someone watch even one of these videos and not thing "hang on a minute, maybe we shouldn;t be pushing this is kids, especially ones who have suffered trauma or who have mental health conditions that are untreated?"

CharmD - point taken, but is there any evidence that people with OCD get to the point where they think "I have fixed my nose and jawline and tummy. Quest over, I am happy and satisfied!"

StationaryMagpie

"I have a friend who transitioned (MtF) in the USA, and basically, when she went through it, she was told if she didn't have the 'bottom' surgery, they would stop all her hormonal treatments... she was FORCED into making that decision"

On the one hand that is shocking and utterly disgusting... on the other hand I'd argue that if you are so dysphoric that you are willing to risk your physical health transitioning then you need to take ever step going. If you are not seriously dysphoric then you don;t need any medical intervention. There is a sense in saying "look, if you're not willing to do everything you can to approximate the external sex characteristics of women, then we cannot help you at all".

StationaryMagpie ·14:06
WTF? I've never heard that before.

I've had a bit of a scroll through "Shape Shifter"s other videos and they're remarkable.

One titled "I'm a dude" they've rejected the non binary identity and have come to terms with being a man, saying "I'm a beautiful man" ♥️.

But less than 5% of males in the US who are trans have the bottom surgery, while many are on hormones for the visible characteristics such as softer skin, curvier shape etc. So the vast majority aren't pushed into surgery surely.

I'm not doubting your friends story StationaryMagpie only that surely that was a unique approach, not widespread.

Haven't watched the video yet (will take a look) but wanted to comment regarding validation.

I think a lot of teens and young people who have quite serious mental health difficulties can be really desperate for someone to recognise their emotional pain and distress. And that that can feed into a desperate desire to have a trans identity affirmed. Because it "proves" that they are suffering enough to meet hormones and surgeries to take away the distress.

Which is horrible and messed up, because transition won't fix any of the difficulties and will make some things worse (You were depressed and anxious after years of abuse by your family - well now you're depressed and anxious with reduced bone density and chronic pain in your mastectomy scars. Maybe a neo-penis will help you feel better?). It also leaves young people extremely vulnerable to exploitation, because the people who will jump to affirm their trans identity and their belief that transition will solve all their difficult are not necessarily people with their best interests at heart.

I wonder whether surgeons do talk about this, but the transitioner is so fixated on creating their new self that they do not hear it. People like Miranda Yardley say that these things were made entirely clear to them before surgery, and that they weren't allowed to proceed with it unless they clearly understood that the changes were essentially cosmetic, they would remain male.

We currently have a fixation that long waiting times for active treatment = bad. Clearly it is not always the case that an enforced wait is bad, but the mindset supports rushing into treatment.

I've just tried to look at the video, but I can't. It looks like it's been taken down. Yet more censorship I expect.

@BigGapMum I';s still there!

I will watch it later.

I listened to the recording Cluniac (?) made of his call to his therapist. Absolutely, heartbreaking. I kinda lost my taste for detrans stuff after that. Sort of one and done. I feel so sorry and so angry.

Young girls and boys on twitter whose family aren't supportive but they have their 'internet family'. Which family will be most likely to help try to pick up the pieces if it all goes wrong? If they're fortunate, their actual family will be there. You can bet their internet family won't.

Thank you so much for sharing this, heartbreaking, interesting, and worrying. I feel I want to follow his journey onwards, I hope he receives the support and help
that he needs to be who he is, and heal.

I didn't watch it all the way through but I don't understand where he/she is now. They've had their genitals removed and they're living as a woman. But now they want to detransition but they still want to keep their hair, makeup and presumably clothes to look like a woman, as they seemed to be wearing a womans top. They're dead right when they say hair and makeup aren't relevant to your sex, but are they still going to present as female and what are they detransitioning to? Back to a man presenting as a woman? Or living as a man with feminine attributes? I hope he can find a combination that can make him happy.
I feel desperately sorry for them. They've really put themselves through so much in the belief that this will sort out emotional issues for them and its given them so many physical issues. Who in the medical community takes responsibility for putting someone through this?

Wow that's heartbreaking.

All the things he wanted that might have made him reconsider are all the things that we are told by the activists are bad. This is what it leads to.

This is a really brave and important film. I hope the hardline trans community are listening, I really do.

This is all so terribly sad. What a heartfelt and candid account.

I'm American and that's not an American accent. He also drops many of his articles, indicating that he is possibly eastern European.

LetitiaLeghorn · 16/05/2022 16:29

I didn't watch it all the way through but I don't understand where he/she is now. They've had their genitals removed and they're living as a woman. But now they want to detransition but they still want to keep their hair, makeup and presumably clothes to look like a woman, as they seemed to be wearing a womans top. They're dead right when they say hair and makeup aren't relevant to your sex, but are they still going to present as female and what are they detransitioning to? Back to a man presenting as a woman? Or living as a man with feminine attributes? I hope he can find a combination that can make him happy.

He seems to say that he is a feminine, gay man. Always was, always will be. Only now he is a man with no penis or sex-drive, which one can't help but feel might put him at a disadvantage when it comes to dating other gay men.

Watching detrans videos there always seems to be three key, early stages before transition -

(1) Not being a walking stereotype of ones biological sex

(2) Homophobia / homophobic bullying, and / or some other traumatic events.

(3) The discovery of the "fact" that you can change sex.

(1) is an entirely normal and natural and neutral thing (it is not a bad thing). (2) is a depressing fact of life. The key problem here - and it's much more of a problem for people younger than this guy was - is the lie that changing sex is possible. The whole movement relies on telling people that they literally can change sex, and then you have the second massive lie, which is a lie of omission. Even if these vulnerable people could literally change sex there is still the deliberate downplaying of complications and problems.

@GCRich Thanks for that. I hope he comes to a resolution that makes him happier.

For me, it's not telling people that they can change their sex that is the problem. I don't really care if it's technically possible or not. It's letting young people believe that changing their sex will solve their emotional and mental health problems that is the disgrace.

Iirc this is the young man that Exulansic did one of her reaction videos about. He was very candid about the 'drawbacks' of the type of vaginaplasty he opted for; essentially using part of his colon for the vaginal canal, he's deleted it now but it was quite horrific and very honest. He was angry with Exulansic at the time but has clearly had an epiphany since then.

We're watching (via social media) an old friend of my partner's so called transition. Male to Female as the terminology goes. He's got a long history of mental instability including drugs, alcohol and a troubled up-bringing. He's recently had 'face feminising' surgery which seems to have really fucked with his head. What kind of doctor would do this? It's so clearly a case of symptom pooling. Now the guy has to deal with having a face he doesn't recognise. I sometimes have difficulty sympathising with though as he clearly has such a low opinion of women. Also so closely sexualised it makes me want to puke.

Friend of mine is autistic and had MtF surgery this year. Having a lot of sensory problems post surgery and hasn't been dilating as recommended so the surgery site is gradually closing up. They post lengthy Facebook posts with graphic details for all of us to follow. This is such a medical scandal.

Very sad and unfortunately Irreversable. Young people are being gaslighted in the worst possible way

That's not an American accent.

It's a very sad video. I hope he can find some kind of peace. I think ultimately being honest with himself will be easier to live with than living with the lie that he was trying to uphold.

Why are people picking up on this? Does America not have immigrants like nearly every country in the world?