Non binary rant

[Scrunchy95]

Hi,
Please excuse me but i need a rant. So am leaving this here...
My daughter just told me that they are non binary. As far as they are concerned I am on board and supportive. Because being a good mum is the most important thing to me. But (shh) nope, I’m hating society right now. We are living in a time when in some places women are being outlawed to have abortions. Girls hate the idea of being a girl so much that they create a non existent category for themselves but men call themselves women and compete in our sports. Fucking fed up with it all. Who’s turning back the clocks? We were better off when we were the kids.
Right rant over..

No, and I'm not saying it does. I'm not here to either praise or bury non-binary identities.

I have told my oldest my feeling that if it's the case a person objects to stereotypes, it is a stronger position to own one's sex and express oneself however one wants and that to make oneself an exception is less likely to affect change. I expect they will see that eventually but I'm not going to labour the point.

Fair enough.

My child says it is about how people respond to her as a girl that she doesn’t want. I am pretty sure part of this for my child is avoiding unwanted sexual attention from men.

I think this is something that's common for girls to feel, and also for boys though perhaps in a slightly different way. It's totally normal to feel unready for sexual relationships and the expectations around those, and so the development of secondary sexual characteristics that launch you in a sense into this world of people who notice each other sexually is scary.

I think that's probably why some teen girls seem to focus on these very unassuming young teen boys who don't look much different from girls themselves, boy band types.

But coming to terms with ourselves as sexual beings is an important part of growing up, whatever we decide to do about it, whether or not we want to have a relationship with someone. And that includes coming to terms with the fact that other people will notice us in that way.

I think you are right that this can be part of trying to back away from that, just like girls used to take refuge in baggy sweaters or whatever. But I wonder what we are supposed to do to help girls work though this kind of thing? Because calling yourself a boy and taking hormones to grow facial hair, or getting a mastectomy do not seem to be approaches that will have good outcomes.

I know this isn't an original thought, but there's unrealistic beauty standards too. When I, many years ago, began developing, my bod didn't look like the ones on page 3, they didn't have veins! Nowadays it's much worse, with filters and photoshopping. Impossible standards, literally impossible. Even the women in the pictures don't look like the women in the pictures.

I don't understand how all the politicians, celebrities, etc. can support, even encourage this

Usually when something seems hard to understand, follow the money. This age group sets trends, and trends make money.

Sorry to steal this but it so succinctly says what I need to tell my dd constantly I've copied and pasted to my notes app. Thanks!