The Assassination of Amber Heard

[DomesticatedZombie]

I hesitate to get involved in this topic - I've not followed the trial and I find the televising and subsequent media circus repugnant.

Unfortunately, it can and will have effects on how women are seen and treated, especially in dv cases, so I suppose in some ways we have no choice but to pay attention.

I thought this was a good article:

medium.com/@hannahxsummers/the-assassination-of-amber-heard-a2e861ad5ded

I'm getting daily videos suggested on my Facebook feed with the most horrendous, misogynistic crap about AH - and the comments (mainly from women I'm sad to say) are just something else

@Ethelfromnumber73 me too! I wonder if they are promoted on FB?

I've been seeing so many videos on Facebook. I don't know how to get rid of them. They keep popping up. I have to say, that even if Amber Heard is the devil incarnate etc, I really don't need to see videos which show a distraught woman talking about sexual assault and the comments being full of jokes.

Same re FB videos. Several, daily. I don't click on them, I don't know why they're showing up. I completely agree, WeeBisom, one should be able to block them.

Or is it likely some sad sack in their mums basement making stuff up for likes

Fun fact; Qanon's roots were this.

Fascinating series on radio 4 recently.

I really wish the videos would end. I've been a victim of domestic violence and rape but both were many, many years ago. I've developed my coping strategy and been okay. On Sunday I just stared into the mirror wondering what it was about me that got me raped. I have absolutely no doubt that it's because of the constant barrage of hideous comments, videos, comments about her clothes, the number of sexual partners she's had and the rest. People can have their own opinions but that doesn't make them the truth, reality is we will never know the truth but I've got no doubt that it was a traumatic relationship for both of them and the barrage of anti-heard stuff is a huge wall of abuse against Heard. It would surprise me at all if she ends up suicidal. The world's learnt nothing from Caroline Flack.

I think she's getting more hate because at the beginning she painted herself solely at the victim. She joined the #metoo movement as a virtuous person. Then it turned out all wasn't it seemed. I think this is why she is so hated by many.

Abuse is complex and she didn't have to be a perfect person to be a victim and support the #metoo movement.
I believe her and relate to a lot of what she says.
He is destroying her.
Statistically the power balance is in his favour, and statistically it's more likely she's telling the truth than making all this up. A judge has already found him guilty of being a wife beater. Her evidence gets ripped to shreds, her personality, her looks, her mental health is used against her. People say there's no evidence he hit her, and when she shows photos of the bruises they say they're fake. She has been forced to reveal very personal, harrowing details of abuse while being live streamed to the world and abused on SM, with her abuser sitting in front of her. His exes all say he was sweet and kind but we have seen how he talks about women, we know he has been arrested for violent behaviour, we know he is controlling and jealous. I think they don't want to speak out, they are afraid he will do to them what he is doing to Amber.
He said himself that he would now show her "no mercy" and hoped she would die. He is using all his fame, his money, his power and his white male privilege and all in plain sight.

She needed to be solely a victim and not a perpetrator. The court cases have clearly shown she was abusive and manipulative too. She has lied about things.

Not a good look when trying to join yourself with the metoo campaign.

I think quite a lot of victims do too end up being violent or verbally abusive though.

I don't think she was very wise positioning herself as she did but essentially it seems she was a victim of domestic violence.

The more I hear, the more I think Depp and his team are actually trying to break her emotionally. My ex broke up with me but then continued to play psychological games to mess me up. It really makes me question whether Heard was subject to abuse and therefore became an abuser herself.

It really makes me question whether Heard was subject to abuse and therefore became an abuser herself.

Her marriage therapist said that Heard often started physical fights because that way Depp wouldn't walk away but would be forced to stay because she has scared of being abandoned. And also Heard told her that it was a point of pride that if she felt disrespected, she would start a fight. I think she also told a therapist she learned violence from her father.
It sounds like there were a lot of issues going on.

I have definitely been”triggered”by this trial. As in, I see so many similarities and to hear other women and(unsurprisingly)men call out her acts similar to mine in abusive relationship as if she’s the worst in the world makes me feel even more hopeless about a way out one day. I too felt like I don’t belong anywhere-I don’t belong in womens shelter, it always seems there are needier women than me. My family already made me run away from home, they had no problem siding with my abuser. I sometimes try to fight for last drops of my dignity but then of course all anyone would notice is that I am the one who’s louder or that I may even be following or trying to confront my abuser. In one serious incident where my abuser put more than just my life in serious danger when I tried to break up with him, the policeman told him at police station that I’m”playing games”. I too have broken restraining order, as in I knew it will finish at some point and wanted to smooth out what I can before he gets back in the house(it was court ordered anyway, not by myself). I guess this all makes me not a victim of domestic abuse, especially because I striked back or sometimes first and because I called him worse names than he called me at times. I suppose I should make peace we are just”both abusive”or”work on our marriage”. Just that I would very much like to leave but know that like in Amber’s case, he’s going to come after me. That’s what makes us stay. We are trying to negotiate and leave on better terms or at least when we are ready, we all know what’s waiting for us once we make that step. How many have returned more than once out of that fear? People forget while they’re just picking up on a trend of acting compassionate about domestic violence victims, most of them are living it in real time and act more like Amber Heard than not. Women are trying to get out for years while people on outside just view it as another normal or not so normal relationship. Basically no one gives a f, everyone just thought it would be fun to take out some misogyny on women and Heard, since opportunity is already there. I’m especially appalled with other women who went through DV using their experience to discredit Amber. It’s not about who had it less worse than you or how much you like them, it’s about power hierarchy. We can see how well it’s going for Amber

@Miscfeminista I'm so sorry you're in this situation. From what I understand about abusive relationships it's so common to not feel like you're 'enough' of a victim or to blame yourself for reacting/acting out. I think it can take a long time to untangle all that and must be incredibly difficult while you're still in the middle of it, because you're made to question yourself all the time. It must take a terrible toll on your self-image which in turn makes it harder to see the way forward.

I hope you know there are lots of people out there who do support and believe victims (and not just the supposedly 'perfect' ones), and we see can see what's happening with this campaign to discredit Amber Heard, and by extension others. I can't imagine how upsetting it must be to see all the vitriol. I do think an awful lot of it is PR manipulation by Depp's team and I believe eventually more people will wake up to what's happening.

I hope eventually you can find a safe way to leave. Please know you absolutely deserve better and you deserve help and support - as you said yourself it's not about who has it 'worse'. It's a continuum and a power dynamic. Sending you hugs. 🫂 💐

Sorry for what you’re going through. This is exactly how I feel too.

@Aspiringmatriarch thank you 💜I pass that message to you too @TooTiredToSleepRightNow (your name couldn't be more relatable)

When Amber said today that JD exactly proved the title of op ed(or all of it better said)she wrote and that he's suing her for, I felt some weird satisfaction. You couldn't disagree with that, as she later affirmed she did not want this and wants to move on with her life. I'm thinking. That was definitely a highlight for me, I wonder if it was as impactful on jury

Excellent post BudapestDreams
Sorry that you’ve had to go through all of that MiscFeminista