The Assassination of Amber Heard

[DomesticatedZombie]

I hesitate to get involved in this topic - I've not followed the trial and I find the televising and subsequent media circus repugnant.

Unfortunately, it can and will have effects on how women are seen and treated, especially in dv cases, so I suppose in some ways we have no choice but to pay attention.

I thought this was a good article:

medium.com/@hannahxsummers/the-assassination-of-amber-heard-a2e861ad5ded

@ChuckBerrysBoots

I may be wrong but I think I read somewhere that she didn't tell anyone about the multiple sexual assaults except her therapist.

She's only bringing them up now because he's dragged her to court forcing her to have to defend herself by trying to prove that he was indeed abusive.

If she was indeed sexually assaulted by him it’s absolutely horrifying to think that’s she’s now being forced by her abuser to relive her trauma in front of him and the entire world.

Happy to be corrected on this.

Since some of her testimony is corroborated by primary sources I can't see that happening. I don't know how much everyone following this across all social media knows this but I can't help thinking it's being done in order to smear her as much as possible.

Indeed. Obviously Depp has a very good PR team that is able and willing to spread his message.

I saw a series of video clips this morning which showed Depp in chat shows admitting to various things he'd done - not to Heard, but stuff like trashing a hotel room, threatening paparazzi with a blunt instrument and so on. We also know - because he has admitted it - that he drinks and takes drugs to excess, to the extent of blacking out.

It reminds me very much of Jimmy Savile used to openly talk about his sexual predilections and nobody did anything about it. Now everyone says: "But it was in plain sight! Why did nobody do anything?" And now here we have Depp admitting to his behaviour in plain sight and people are pretending not to see it.

I'm astounded by the amount of denial - how far people will go to excuse his behaviour or say that it was justified because she shouted at him etc etc.

What he did is documented and corroborated by others on so many occasions. That is so rare in domestic abuse cases.

It makes me so angry when people go on and on about "Me too" and "Believe her" but as soon as they have to manage something slightly uncomfortable or outside their normal worldview, out come all the excuses to avoid acknowledging it.

Thank you for this thread.
No, she is not perfect. Not even nice, maybe.
I didn’t know you had to be flawless to experience dv.

The age gap is one thing, the asymmetri in power since he was 46-ish and a mega superstar and she was 25-ish and up and coming,
the fact he is a man - thus rather a lot stronger is another.

so yet again you have to be the Madonna and completely free of any sin - otherwise you were asking for it.

jeez, together with the «people with uteruses» who have just lost their access to abortions, this is all going backwards to hell in a handcart.

Quite royal.

And yes, not very nice people or stable people suffer DV. And would probably be more likely to try to angrily gain revenge (ie the poo, if that was her or other things he's said she did.)

Doesn't cancel it out nor does it mean he didn't commit DV and sexual assault which is what this is all about.

I was a big JD fan back in the day and even recently. I must admit I had not been following much of this and my first thoughts were well ofcourse JD is innocent, just look at him, poor him etc i based my conclusions on the tid bits I read online with a huge dose of bias until I gave my head a bit of a wobble.

She may have hit JD but I wouldn’t call it domestic violence just because she got physical. I was in a relationship where I was controlled and threatened and gaslit, I had nobody as he isolated me and had PND and one day I snapped and hit him (I am half his size and strength) and guess what, he turned around and said I was the abuser and he was a victim. I couldn’t speak to who I wanted, work where I wanted, I didn’t have any access to money for the children, kept being accused of having affairs so I walked on egg shells yet because in a moment of pent up anger I hit him due to some disclosure he would make (On a few occasions) suddenly he became the victim. He was never scared of me, he did what he wanted and he knew he had all the power due to all the emotional blackmail and my position as a woman in the community. So now I am ashamed that I fell for the whole poor JD a victim. I mean he would trash hotels and has a major drug problem, I mean how can we think he’s so innocent. Do we seriously think AH made all of this up? She may have lied about things I have no idea but do we really think JD is a victim who never laid a finger on her despite being so high on drugs, smashes things up and has questionable friends I think we need to stop focussing so much on her ‘bad points’ and be really weary of the media portrayal and the PR. Honestly we fall for the Hollywood image but these photos of him being so off his face have made me realise how unstable he is and that is not the JD I imagined him to be.

So now I am genuinely concerned for AH welfare and safety because when it’s all said and done JD is complaining about a few roles he’s missed out on probably due to his own self inflicted issues but I think she has a lot more to worry about after this and hope she stays safe. This doesn’t mean I like her or anything but as a woman I feel for her as it seems the world is against her but instead at worst minimising what JD did to her which I bet is far more damaging that what she did to him. I’m sorry I just can’t see he is a real victim and I think he knows it but just needs to clear his name because he needs the money.

Oh and I also wasn’t a soft spoken dv victim. Once I realised I didn’t have to listen to him, I answered back to him and when he told me I was abusing him I did laugh at him because I found it hilarious how he controlled me all those years and put so much fear in me that all I did was take back control of my life from him which meant answering back and slamming doors to show that I wasn’t going to be that woman again I’m not saying that’s what AH did but I think she didn’t back down and that made her seem like the aggressor. I’m not excusing this behaviour I just think it needs to be seen in a wider context of their relationship, did he really have a problem with her roles with certain male actors? That’s definitely controlling behaviour but nobody is focussing on that.

It's the misogynistic spin. Hellova lot of hypocrisy going on.

Proudman is good on this. Also getting a lot of hate for saying so!

Amber heard told her therapist about the abuse back in 2012.

What motivation would she have had to lie at that point?

Have you listened to the hours of recordings? Listened to the testimony and looked at the associated evidence and exhibits? Compared all the various depositions and testimonies and recordings and evidence about the same events?

You have done all that and come to the conclusion that Amber is the victim and there is evidence to back up her claims and Johnny is the abuser?

Or are you basing your view now that Amber is the victim and Johnny the abuser on headlines and snippets and posts you read and your own personal experience?

No I don’t know which headlines as everything coming my way is very negative towards her which is what attracted me to this thread. No I haven’t spent time listening to the testimonies but I have been watching clips (all pro Depp) and I have my doubt. It is an uneducated opinion but I’m not here to convince anyone either way as neither of them mean anything to me but I just don’t believe he is a victim and I don’t need to justify myself. The truth does come out so let’s see.

Oh and yes my own experience does affect my judgement which I paid no attention to as JD was obviously telling the truth as he was too cool to tell lies.

I was just wondering as it seems that many abuse victims who do listen to the recordings see themselves in Depp and see their abusers in Heard.

TooTired I'm really sorry for what you went through.

Midlife are you suggesting I’m lying about my abuse?

you can’t speak for all victims, yes at first I thought Depp was the victim from the controlling behaviours of hers but when I put in into perspective, the age difference, the JD I’ve ‘known’ for years, the good looking bad boy etc I’m sorry but no. I’m glad I had this epiphany and I can only share my views on this thread. Or I think I can.

Oh wait maybe I was the abuser eh as my partner would start making me question myself. Yes must be me which is why I’m starting to worry for AH.

It’s ok it’s made me a stronger angrier person but I couldn’t do anything as he had so much ‘dirt’ on me, dirt in my community but not wider society I may add. I may be wrong about AH but my opinion is not affecting anything I am entitled to it and I’m not here to offend anyone which is why I chose this thread to write on.

I’m genuinely interested in seeing what female abuse victims find relatable with what has happened with JD. Maybe I need to look in more detail but I’m just going by my feelings based on what I have seen even if one the surface is painting him in a good light I’m just questioning the whole thing.

No, I wasn't questioning your abuse at all. I just didn't understand what your epiphany was based on and was saying that it seems that many that have been victims and do a deep dive into the evidence come out seeing themselves reflected in Depp and their abusers reflected in Amber - based on what each says and the dynamic and tones. On a surface level and based on headlines, anyone can form really any view depending on what they see. None of that changes your experience.

Sorry I apologise I am quite defensive about it but you’re right I don’t know anything apart from what’s on the surface. I don’t really know where I would find this information as everything I see is on social media and short clips with commentaries from random people

To think part of the problem was she joined the #metoo campaign presenting herself solely as I victim of domestic violence. Which I think she is. But it then became apparent that the lines were more blurred than that and she was also a perpetrator too.

I think too Amber is a person who gets very caught up in things. For example she befriended Amanda De Cadenet who was an activist / advocate in the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements and Amber then took that on as her own cause in a way and maybe got a little too caught up in it. Amanda was a close friend of hers for awhile until Amanda heard the recordings andd realized that the Amber she thought she knew and the person Amber had put herself forward as being was not the real Amber. She felt very betrayed and ended the friendship and distanced herself. The lack of identity and 'chameleon' characteristic that Amber shows isn't uncommon in people with borderline personality disorder. They have a hard time having a solid sense of self and tend to adopt interests or dress or characteristics of people around them. I see that quite a bit in Amber.

pbs.twimg.com/media/FQ81zm9XEAAjiqS?format=jpg&name=large

I came across this comment and it pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole situation.

“My take: they had a toxic relationship, but I think the violence was more on his side than hers (though she's not a perfect victim, and almost certainly fought back or even instigated on occasion). He has issues with drugs and alcohol and by his own admission frequently can't remember what took place while he was on a bender (his defence in the UK case, repeatedly, was that he couldn't remember but 'knows' he wouldn't have done what she said).

They were surrounded, constantly, by people he was paying. Living in properties he owned. The security team was his. Most of his witnesses are people tied to him financially.

She filed for divorce, asked for a restraining order to allow her to change the locks on the home where she was living, and has moved on with her life.

He won't let her go. He's the one constantly dragging this to court. He's trying to punish her publicly, by dragging her name through the mud, and financially, by making her constantly shell out on expensive lawyers. Nothing she ever said (or implied) about him was as damaging to him as everything revealed in these court cases has been. If she was genuinely as abusive as he's now claiming, shouldn't he have been glad to have her out of his life and just move on?

Ignore all the noise and the mud-slinging, look at their actual actions. When you follow the legal actions it's clear he is the aggressor, and her actions have been defensive. And if you still don't believe it, remember a UK judge decided he had assaulted her on 12 of the 14 instances The Sun claimed. That's a matter of legal fact.”

A different point but it simply astounds me how people will read something on a public forum or on a conspiracy theory website/ blog and just swallow it! Maybe think about cross checking with another source, think about where it might have come from, was it in court docs etc? Or is it likely some sad sack in their mums basement making stuff up for likes or could it have come from either parties? It just scares me how little critical thinking goes on today.