But responses like this are exactly why I don’t participate more in these discussions, because as soon as anyone opens their mouth other women are waiting to shoot them down.
You think that response to you was you being shot down, AMBE123?? I’m really surprised. I didn’t think that was an aggressive response at all. Frustrated, yes. Really, really frustrated and desperate to be heard, desperate that all this is happening and nowhere near enough people are taking it seriously, I would say. Especially frustrated when it’s other women not engaging with the reality of what’s going on, what we talk about on here.
Most of the post was trying to get across how bad things have got, and in how many different ways this impacts on women, often very vulnerable women. What’s wrong with that? I thought it was a passionate post because that poster cares about this very much. That’s all.
You are absolutely entitled to participate in these discussions, of course you are. But you can’t dictate the way other people respond to you. There was no abuse, no name calling, nothing at all against even the extra-stringent guidelines on this board.
You said, It must also be horrible to be male, innocent but automatically be seen as some kind of a menace, along with I do see that in some lesbian circles, some women want to exclude trans women from social events, to which I say 'Live and let live, they've been through enough', and Roseglen84 said The whole tone of your post seems to be 'poor men, what about the menz feelings'?
Honestly, is that really what you call being shot down?
FWIW, I am married to a man and mother to a son. My DH doesn’t find it “horrible” that women have boundaries that exclude him. He’s perfectly well aware of why women need those boundaries, and doesn’t feel it reflects badly on him in any way at all. He understands the reality of male violence, even though he himself is the least violent man you could meet. He just doesn't take it personally at all.
Your post did strike me as odd when I first saw it because it’s so far from my experience of how decent men feel about the impact of male violence on women’s lives. They don’t feel unjustly accused or maligned. They don’t feel like they themselves are being seen as a menace. They care about women and women’s safety, they know that women are the more vulnerable sex, and they are protective if anything, and keen to support whatever actions keep women safer.
There did seem to be a bias in your post towards male people. Biologically male people who identify as lesbians have “been through enough” and therefore women should set aside their own needs in order to cater to them? Women haven’t “been through enough” across the generations, at the hands of biologically male people, that they’re entitled to some entirely male free spaces?
I don’t suppose there’s much point in me trying to engage with you; if I challenge your view in any way you’ll presumably say how mean I’m being or some such, if you respond at all. But no one is trying to take your voice away from you on here. You’re very welcome to use it.