‘Whether some Tory Malcom Tuckers had a meeting titled 'What can we use as defence here that means Labour won't attack us from across the bench?'
“But I’m not even trans!!”
“I don’t give a fuck, just say you wanna be trans, and... I don’t know, wrap your fucking car around a tree or something.”
“But everyone will know - I wear suits!”
“You’re gonna come out as fucking trans on the BBC or I’ll wrap you round my massive trunk, and you wouldn’t like that... [insults would now attract a ban.]”