I am pagan. (If you aren’t familiar I’ll go into detail about this further down) I have always been an enthusiastic ally of LGBT+ rights.
If you know what a pagan is feel free to skip this paragraph. If not please read.
Pagan beliefs vary quite a bit so my beliefs may not represent or reflect what other pagan believe but essentially I believe in the earth and that everything on it humans, animals , trees, plants insects and even rocks have a spirit and that we are all connected and one. I also believe in balance between light and dark which is also the divine feminine and the divine masculine. And I also believe in something called the triple goddess which is the maiden, mother and crone which are the three spiritual stages of a woman’s life. You do not necessarily have to become a biological mother to experience the spirituality of the mother stage. You merely have to feel motherly concern towards others. This could be anything from watching over a beloved pet or caring for a friend or a family member.
Now that that is done. I went into detail about my personal beliefs because it’s important to the story. My religion has given me through a lot of hard times and mental health crisis. It has grounded me. I have have very loving spiritual journeys and self discoveries with both the divine feminine and masculine. They are deeply ingrained with who I am. Up until now I have always felt like my spirituality was compatible with LGBT+ rights and that anyone can experience the divine feminine or masculine no matter who they are, what they look like or what body parts they may have. The triple goddess is all about the cycles of life and the earth beginning middle and end. I love it it is beautiful. The thing I love most about my religion is that it was always a safe retreat for me when I was exhausted from drama and politics.
Why am I telling you this? Because now it no longer feels like a safe retreat. My friend who used to be pagan recently came after me and told me that my religious practice is transphobic because of the divine feminine, masculine and the triple goddess because it is gender binary and the triple goddess is especially transphobic because of the mother stage.
I was blown away and absolutely flabbergasted. She was really pushy that I needed to change my views. We argued about it because I disagreed. I told her that anyone can experience these things no matter where they fall on the gender spectrum. But she told me it was inciting violence because it would make non binary people feel disphoric. 😳😳😳 And then I went silent when she said if I don’t want to continue practicing am oppressive religion that I either need to drop the triple goddess and divine feminine/masculine or convert to agnostic/atheism. I was completely blind sided by this. She wasn’t always like this. I am really confused about what brought this on. The divine female/male and triple goddess are core to my practice. To remove them would be to remove a critical part of myself.
I feel lost because now she has made me feel as if my religion and trans rights are not compatible. I also feel like I lost a friend because I did not immediately came to her sudden extreme (in my view) demands. I tried talking to her later after calling down but she has completely written me off. I might add that this is really out of character for her.
Am I being unreasonable? Or is it my friend? I can’t give up on my religion or the divine feminine/masculine or the triple goddess. Does that make me transphobic? I’m feeling really lost please help. 😢