Scouts offering opt-out to Mothers' Day marketing

[Straysocks]

Doing so because it's a sensitive matter and they want to be inclusive and respectful to all paths of life. Is this normal now? It suggests that being/having a mother has negative connotations. I'm so terribly sad about it. How can they try to erase Mothers? I've emailed back to ask for an explanation. I am very open to people who don't want to use the terms mother or father, that's their call, I'll respect that, it's their family but by eroding or smearing the sentiment of 'mother' ... It really bothers me.

@rainbowzebra05

My dad died when I was 7. The Father's Day stuff at school and the like felt awful every year. I'd imagine it's the same concept. With emails it's because of adults who've had bereavements, with kids stuff and being warned so you can miss sessions it's the kids. They can be really painful days if your parent suddenly isn't there to celebrate with.

I do get that and sorry for all of us who carry this loss. My Dad died early in my childhood too.

I like this. I’ve just had one from hampers dot com too. And moonpig.

My mum is dead and we had a complicated relationship. It’s hard enough on the day but marketing emails by the shed load make it worse.

Oh I just realised this was in feminism.

I don’t think it’s about erasing mother. I think it’s to be mindful for those of us who might find it difficult and give us an option not to see the millions of emails.

I was a cub leader who ignored Mother's Day the year one of the cubs Mum's had died 6 weeks previously.

Fortunately, the parents understood.

It astonishes me that some people don't.

I don't see it about erasing mothers at all, it's just being sensitive to different situations, and offering people an alternative. It's good.
We do similar at school with Mothers & Fathers Days where we have a lot of looked after children, single parent families etc.

For me, this isn't about erasing mothers at all but being respectful that not everyone has a mum.

I've had quite a few emails in the last year or so asking if I wanted to opt out of:

Mother's Day
Father's Day
Valentine's Day

I think it's companies recognising that not everyone wants reminded about these days and that's a good thing.

Yet another thread making GC feminists campaigning for sex based rights look like transphobic twats

Not one mention of transpeople anywhere except for your post.

Personally I would happily give up Mother's Day if we could get rid of Father's Day. My dgd adored her father but he is no longer in her life because of his violence and I would rather she was not reminded of what she is missing any more than necessary.

And I have a lot of respect for good, loving parents

Its a load of marketing malarky. If they are so kind and sensitive why haven't they piped up and supported JKR and others concerned about maintaining single sex spaces to ensure safety of women and children?

@Theunamedcat

Do they do the same for fathers day?

Do you know I dont think they do.

I've had many an opt out of mothers day emails. And I do appreciate them and always opt out, but I'm not sure about fathers day, I recall one or two last year, but not to the same amount. I do remember thinking how odd, hundreds of opt out MD and 3 opt out FD.

On this topic I get fed up of doing this every year. If I opted out in say 2015 then can they not respect that for at least a decade.

@Theunamedcat

Do they do the same for fathers day?

Yes. Both my parents have died and I opt out of both mother's and father's day marketing.

Wish this had been more of a thing when I used to help with Beavers, and a quiet little boy told me he'd made two cards, one for his granny and one to take to his mum's grave.

I was glad to have options from various businesses to opt out of marketing because my son is dead and I can't bear being reminded.

I agree this isn't about disrespecting motherhood. I lost my mum at 10 and I am childless due to infertility. This is definitely aimed at people who don't want to be endlessly reminded about something that they are unable to participate in.

I really don’t see what is hard to understand here. It has nothing to do with eroding motherhood. My precious mum died on mothers’ day and I’d rather not be bombarded with marketing emails. I’m a feminist but cannot understand what is offensive about giving people the opportunity to opt out of emails. The same happens on fathers’ day

This is nothing but cynical impression management.If organizations were truly concerned they would have opt out clauses when people initially signed up to receive emails. Sending out emails about Mother Day emails is mentioning Mothers Day so how is that not triggering?

@RufustheFloralmissingreindeer

Ive not had any opt out emails for mother or father…ever

How come I’m not getting them, feeling a bit left out

Maybe in previous years you opened Ma and Pa Day targeted advertising and the algorithm thinks you're fine with them?

Whereas I always delete them without opening, not because they are triggering, but because I can't be bothered with either special day. I'm now indundated with the "would you like to opt out " ones.

The only retailer who hasn't sent me one is the truly amazing espares (spare parts for everything you can ever think of)

As someone who can't have DC I do appreciate the thought behind the opt out marketing. Mother's and father's Day are really tough for me. Although a million emails asking me if I want to opt out kind of defeats the point.

I'd quite like to opt out of all marketing emails to be honest!

Maybe in previous years you opened Ma and Pa Day targeted advertising and the algorithm thinks you're fine with them?

Oh yes maybe 🤔

Further, Mother's Day in a women's prison is an absolute nightmare.

@Namechangeforthis88

Would you say as bad as being housed with a self-id TW?

Different.

I am signed up to loads and loads of brand lists for work purposes and I have been getting these emails for a few years, so many of them that I have always thought it defeats the purpose as if I was grieving my mother or father I would still be inundated with reminders. In the last few days I’ve had them from M and S, Zizzi, and Not on the High Street.

I actually found the mother's day before my mum passed away the hardest (she had terminal cancer with prognosis of a few months) as knew it would be the last with her. My gran also died in 2020 so now I no longer have anyone to buy a card for but I am also a mother so get a card from my daughter. I do appreciate the opt out e-mails but agree with previous posters that it to avoid triggers for people that have lost their mother, have a bad relationship, have lost a child or have been unable to have a child. I understand not everyone has the same triggers but it has nothing to do with erasing mothers. I have had similar for fathers day and valentines.

If it helps anyone to understand, here is the reply I sent last year to an arts organisation that sent me a Mothers' Day related marketing email with the subject header 'The Year of Being More Mum':

Dear.......

It hasn’t been ‘The Year of Being More Mum’ for me. It’s been the year of sitting in my house listening to my neighbour’s baby crying through the wall, knowing I’ll never have a child of my own to hold and sooth. It’s been the year of walking past windows decorated with children’s drawings of rainbows, knowing I’ll never experience having pride in art drawn by my own child. It’s been a year of working from home while listening to children playing in their back gardens or whizzing around me in the park on their scooters, living the sort of family life I’ve dreamt of for years but will never have.

Did you know that around 20% of women will never become mothers? And for around 90% of that group, this is not by choice. During the pandemic, many people have lost their last chance to be mothers – from the cancellation of fertility treatment, to not being able to date and meet potential partners when you don't have much time left. Others have experienced the pain of miscarriage, often without their partners by their sides, and may never experienced the bittersweet joy of having a rainbow baby.

I think mums are amazing and I’m all for celebrating them and for acknowledging the intense additional pressure most mothers have been under during the pandemic. But that doesn’t mean I want to receive emails reminding me of what I’m not and never will be. Many organisations offer an opt-out to customers on their mailing lists, so they can skip Mothers’ Day themed promotional emails, so I know I’m not alone in finding this very upsetting. Perhaps you could consider doing the same next year? Your newsletter is something I look forward to under normal circumstances so I would really prefer not to have to unsubscribe completely.