Any gender can come to our work menopause cafe

[EachandEveryone]

Is that right? Im pleased work are acknowledging it as we are a 90% female workforce.mim just wondering why any gender is welcome? Before i drop myself in it is this the norm?🤔

Gender is irrelevant. The ‘pause only comes for women.

Anyone got an answer

If this is aimed at transmen too, my understanding is that transmen take testosterone and therefore the consequences of that medication may mean a 'woman's' menopause doesn't happen. That being the case, inclusion is now just that, no aim at any group in particular just anything to do with women is open to everyone. Pointing that out because the impact on men in everything seems to be minimal

I hope it's going to be centring middle aged female people. There have been some worrying attempts recently to include "all people who experience changes in their hormones" or something like that to crowbar in trans people.

I went to a menopause event and a young trans man spoke about how he had the same symptoms and needed support too.

It was very moving, but, probably not in the way that he had hoped.

Odd wording but yeah I’d expect it to be single sex but fine if meopausal trans men, NB or whatever want to come too. A transwoman coming would be creep AF.

but fine if meopausal trans men, NB or whatever want to come too

Yes absolutely. They are female.

OP. I'm wondering if you work where I work!

We have had a Menopause Awareness/information session which was open to everyone.

Out of that, it was decided to set up a menopause cafe for peer support. One of my male colleagues said that it should not exclude men because we need to be inclusive in all areas. I put him straight on that one.

We've just had some online sessions that were sent to all staff, regardless of sex. It was made clear on them that whilst it's women (and transmen who are still biologically female) who will personally be going through the menopause, it recognised that men are also our colleagues and will also be living with a menopausal female at some stage of their life (obviously if they are straight). It was very well handled and was very popular. The idea was initially suggested by a very senior male member of staff who thought it was an important topic.

There was also a separate webinar for line managers about how best to sensitively manage any staff struggling or looking for help and how best to avoid ending up on the wrong end of an employment tribunal.

What’s the goal of this cafe? If it’s to raise awareness, all welcome.

If it’s for mutual sharing and support, then women only. I am pretty open about menopause but not prepared to discuss symptoms in front of every Tom, Dick or Harry (or self-styled Harriet).

I'd be happy if our work had a Menopause Café (we have other things that also get called Café - mostly because that implies informal meetings rather than cake)

I would want to know the purpose though. Are we women sharing tips about working while being menopausal? (peers) or are we sharing with other women, who are not yet menopausal what it actually is, to prepare them? (women) or is it to work through ideas about how a workplace can be made more menopausal woman friendly (men included)

Because of the 3 i quite like all of them. But the one that will bring a culture change to an organisation is the last one where men are invited. Even if it is restricted to men in leadership positions.

it sounds ok to me because gender counts trans men and NB.

obviously a trans woman has no right to be there, but its gender not sex so should mean all those who are female of a certain age.

No sex is the right word. Gender is just the envelope - completely irrelevant to the letter inside.

@BestKnitterInScotland

Agree that it depends on the purpose of the group.

If it's a support/safe space to vent about how shite the menopause is group, then obviously women only. Female exclusive.

On the other hand, DH is on the "menopause group" at his work, it's about a 50/50 split and they get together once a month to discuss what the business can do to support women in the menopause or peri-menopause. It's less a support group, more of a practical steps group, and entirely appropriate that he is included - he is in charge of one of the shifts. The other three managers are on it too - two other men, one woman.

Plus DH does have experience of menopause through living with me for the past 5 years.

I agree with this. There are (or should be) different kinds of groups. In your case, OP, I'd definitely get them to clarify what they mean by 'gender' first.

I think this is something that should be expanded really. A support group that is only for women experiencing the menopause/peri menopause and something else that is open to all- including men- to help understand what it is, dispel myths etc. Here’s plenty of men living and working with menopausal women who have no idea about it and I’d (personally) like it to be something men can support partners/colleagues with and remove the taboo that menopause (or periods) is something men shouldn’t talk about. It’s a normal part of most women’s lives.

@Soontobe60

I’d treat it a bit like sex education in primary school - some sessions are for both sexes combined, some are single sex sessions. OP, at the first meeting, I’d suggest setting dates for single sex sessions (of either variety of sex)

Why the hell do males need to go to a menopause meeting at all 🙄🙄

@EachandEveryone

What is this obsession with women and cakes? Any meeting we have cake is always mentioned in the poster.

To be fair, Britain can be pretty miserable and cake and chip shop chips are a good antidote. Not all at once, obvs.

Why the fuck would anyone want to talk about their menopause with a big group of work people, of either sex??
I mean, I get having a moan to you mate at work or whatever, but work sanctioned "safe spaces" to talk about hot flushes and vaginal dryness? No thank you.
I particularly hate the idea of male senior people getting all earnest about "supporting the menopausal ladies" at work.
I need "support" with meno at work about as much as the middle aged men need support with their male pattern baldness and impotence. I certainly don't want my age used as an excuse not to promote me! All this shit just makes me want to scream "get out of my knickers and leave me alone!"
That might just be me though..

I do like cake though. Cake day can stay.

If you're asking a) why talk about it at work and b) why include men:

why not? Menopause is a fact of life. And it rarely gets talked about as openly as it should. Thre are adjustments that workplaces can reasonably make so that, for eg, menopausal women who get the hot flashes aren't seated next to a radiator, or that there is ample provision for clean, accessible toilets with adequate sinks etc for the inevitable last hurrah that your uterus gives you with zero warning (sometimes several)

So that you can, as i did, have a small fan on your desk and people don't endlessly move it, switch it off without asking, or joke about it to all and sundry. Men, particularly men in leadership positions can do a great deal to facilitate this.

After long struggles we have made great progress in making accommodations for pregnant women in the workplace and there is no reason we can't do it at the other end of the cycle.

@Neenawneenaw76
Whilst I can see where you’re coming from, perhaps the fact that a woman has been awarded £1000’s as a direct result of sex discrimination which included things like her boss commenting about being ‘menopausal’ indicates that men also need educating about the subject. I’d also add that younger women would also benefit.

I'd have assumed it's for men that want to support their wife's partners etc

Whilst I can see where you’re coming from, perhaps the fact that a woman has been awarded £1000’s as a direct result of sex discrimination which included things like her boss commenting about being ‘menopausal’ indicates that men also need educating about the subject. I’d also add that younger women would also benefit

Why can't men take the initiative to look it up and find out for themselves ? Why is it everything set up to help women or support women or be for women , has to double up as some learning experience for men who are too lazy or too special to close the pornhub tab Google it.

Is there an erectile dysfunction group that women are invited to?

Anyway gender is irrelevant to menopause. It's a sex specific occurrence.

Have always allowed both sexes to our open Menopause events - men may have partners who are struggling and want to support them. One man hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep for years due to his wife’s early onset hot flushes at night (she had had cancer) and was desperate to find ways to help them both (he hated how it affected her, not just himself).

Other events were for biological women only, to allow a safe space to talk.

Fucksake. Can’t women have any kind of event for themselves without the word “gender” being mentioned?

Hrmph, I worked for a fairly good place but I still wouldn't have wanted to talk about brain fog, sleep or mood problems, hot flushes or (perish the thought!) sex issues with even female colleagues, unless I I'd known them very well for a long time.

I mean why WOULD you basically draw attention, at work, to anything bar your complete fabulousness at your job? Unless you are (temporarily) going through something so unambiguously awful (bereavement or cancer, more or less) that they're going to have to dig out the employee support policies...