Great Speccie article on bringing your whole self to work

[SirSamVimesCityWatch]

www.spectator.co.uk/article/work-is-no-place-for-your-whole-self-

By the Madness of Crowds author Douglas Murray. Basic idea - how about just bringing the bit of yourself that's good at your job to work?

It's light-hearted but a good read. I don't think anyone should have to hide their sexuality at work, for example, but I don't think anyone needs to actively display every aspect of their personal life / interests / problems / the fact they cross dress at weekends, etc etc, at work either. I think the blurring of work and home life is actually bad for us - makes it harder to separate work from home and, with the introduction of WFH for a lot of people, ends up with you giving up more time to work.

The 'bring your whole self to work' thing is ridiculous.

A large part of my identity is piss-taking and laziness ... I don't think anybody would be happy if I brought that part of me to work.

A large part of my identity is piss-taking and laziness

Are you me?!

I have a "work persona". It's (usually) professional and competent and reliable and tough. Whereas actually I don't know what I'm doing half the time, am really disorganised and think all corporate-speak is a huge pile of wank. I'm also a mum of two small children and a lot of my brain is taken up with thinking about them. None of which my employer (rightly) wants in the office.

I'm genuinely obsessed with my hobby. Unless I'm doing something that requires 100% of my concentration, I'm probably thinking about it. I find it a far, far more interesting and intrinsic part of myself than my sexuality. I've learned to be quite careful about even answering polite questions about my hobby, because if I really get started talking about it, odds are I'll bore the pants off whoever was unfortunate enough to bring it up. I've learned to make a few jokes about how obsessive and boring I am about it, so that if I do start to talk too much about it, I can realise, make fun of myself and let the other person easily admit that yes, I am boring them to near tears and could I please shut up about it.

I don't think I'm alone in being like that as I've met other people through life who utterly adore and obsess about something that gets pretty boring to everyone else. Can you imagine what life would be like if everyone went around letting their whole self out all the time in inappropriate situations? Just all talking at each other for hours on end about our guitar, football, macrame, cats, birdwatching, etc.

I find his turn of phrase offensive ('if you are a gay')
and he's, generally speaking, a cunt. The Madness of Crowds is an appalling book IMO.

There is absolutely some wisdom in not bringing your whole self to work and I agree what with everyone on here is saying. I just don't want to hear it from him, expressed in such terms.

I think that's why he writes like that (as "a gay"). To offend people who want to be offended on his behalf.

If other people think it's acceptable to call people "queer"...

@NecessaryScene

I think that's why he writes like that (as "a gay"). To offend people who want to be offended on his behalf.

If other people think it's acceptable to call people "queer"...

He doesn't use quote marks. I think he honestly thinks it's OK/correct to say 'a gay'. And that it's OK/correct to say 'the Ukraine'

The Madness of Crowds is an appalling book IMO.

Eh?

@IntermittentParps why isn’t it ok to say the Ukraine? I don’t do it any more, as I can see that people don’t. But do you know what it is that’s wrong with it?

@Linguini

The Madness of Crowds is an appalling book IMO.

Eh?

It's anti-intellectual and views universities and learning as suspect. He thinks that racism, sexism and homophobia were 'settled' and no longer issues, until new critical theories in e.g. gender and race studies (as developed and studied at universities) brought them back up. I don't know about you, but as a woman I can confidently say that I've never felt that issues of sexism and misogyny have been 'settled'. And I'm white, straight and fairly materially privileged.

[quote Moonswimmer]@IntermittentParps why isn’t it ok to say the Ukraine? I don’t do it any more, as I can see that people don’t. But do you know what it is that’s wrong with it?[/quote]
It implies a disregard for the country's sovereignty.

Boris Johnson clearly brings his whole self to the workplace. That worked out well.

I had a vague idea "The" Ukraine was some historical translation thing to do with Slavic languages not having articles.

He doesn't use quote marks.

Well, he wouldn't would he? I was quoting him. He's not quoting himself.

I think he honestly thinks it's OK/correct to say 'a gay'. And that it's OK/correct to say 'the Ukraine'

I admit that as a grammar pedant, I'm somewhat against it. Adjectives being used as nouns or adverbs is always rather jarring.

But in this case it's at least justified, in that there isn't an already-perfectly-good noun. And it's short and easily understood. What noun would you have him use?

Personally, I like his writing style, as it's marvellously direct and to the point while still being erudite. He's not someone who needs to obfuscate things to make himself look clever (cf Butler).

It's anti-intellectual and views universities and learning as suspect.

Seriously? Some universities, and some learning, sure. But generally? Are you saying nothing at universities is suspect? Did he forget to put "NAUALT" in?

He thinks that racism, sexism and homophobia were 'settled' and no longer issues, until new critical theories in e.g. gender and race studies (as developed and studied at universities) brought them back up.

That feels like a rather bad faith paraphrase. But given that you apparently have a specific quote in mind (from the quote marks), I'm interested to see that use of "settled" in context.

It implies a disregard for the country's sovereignty.

Because? Do I need to go back to calling the Netherlands Holland?

@aliasundercover

The 'bring your whole self to work' thing is ridiculous.

A large part of my identity is piss-taking and laziness ... I don't think anybody would be happy if I brought that part of me to work.

Love the honesty here aliasundercover!

My whole self likes eating Crisps and drinking wine. Looking forward to doing that at my desk.

Moonswimmer
@IntermittentParps why isn’t it ok to say the Ukraine? I don’t do it any more, as I can see that people don’t. But do you know what it is that’s wrong with it?

It implies a disregard for the country's sovereignty.

I cannot really follow the logic of this. Does saying 'the Netherlands' imply a disregard for sovereignty? Or 'the United Arab Emirates? Or indeed 'the United Kingdom'? There are loads of countries that have 'the' before the name: Dominican Republic, Philippines, Ivory Coast, Bahamas, Seychelles ...

If Ukraine wants to be called Ukraine and not 'the Ukraine' that's fine by me. It doesn't imply anything either way though.

I think it’s because Russia refers to “the Ukraine” in the same way they’d refer to “the south west” or “the Moscow region” ie as though it’s an area of Russia.

I have often worked at places where I was a bit of an outsider, rather do that then be forced to fit in with some corporate ethos of inclusion.

If Ukraine wants to be called Ukraine and not 'the Ukraine' that's fine by me. It doesn't imply anything either way though.
Yes, that is what Ukraine wants (I think it comes from when it gained its independence). And they want it BECAUSE of what it implies.

@NecessaryScene

He doesn't use quote marks.

Well, he wouldn't would he? I was quoting him. He's not quoting himself.

I think he honestly thinks it's OK/correct to say 'a gay'. And that it's OK/correct to say 'the Ukraine'

I admit that as a grammar pedant, I'm somewhat against it. Adjectives being used as nouns or adverbs is always rather jarring.

But in this case it's at least justified, in that there isn't an already-perfectly-good noun. And it's short and easily understood. What noun would you have him use?

Personally, I like his writing style, as it's marvellously direct and to the point while still being erudite. He's not someone who needs to obfuscate things to make himself look clever (cf Butler).

It's anti-intellectual and views universities and learning as suspect.

Seriously? Some universities, and some learning, sure. But generally? Are you saying nothing at universities is suspect? Did he forget to put "NAUALT" in?

He thinks that racism, sexism and homophobia were 'settled' and no longer issues, until new critical theories in e.g. gender and race studies (as developed and studied at universities) brought them back up.

That feels like a rather bad faith paraphrase. But given that you apparently have a specific quote in mind (from the quote marks), I'm interested to see that use of "settled" in context.

It implies a disregard for the country's sovereignty.

Because? Do I need to go back to calling the Netherlands Holland?

Not sure if you're talking about 'gay' or 'Ukraine' here or both, but I would have him say 'gay' not 'a gay'. Obviously. And the Ukraine thing I've addressed. And AFAIK 'the Netherlands' is what that country decided to be and likes being called. For their own reasons, one assumes, just like Ukraine. Are you saying nothing at universities is suspect? What I'm saying is that being anti-intellectual is a classic right-wing (inc far-right-wing) position/tactic, for obvious reasons. And yes, 'seriously', because he locates this bringing back up of issues like racism and sexism in universities that teach and study in fields like gender and race studies. As I've already said.

I no longer have a copy of the book, so can't dig out any quotes.

Didn't quite mean to derail this thread so much, for which I apologise.

He sounds like he's probably a horrible person tbh. But I don't disagree with him on this topic.

Having said that... I'm a teacher. Many people seem to be of the opinion that teachers need to be above reproach when not at work - should not be allowed to have normal social lives, drink alcohol in public, or have social media accounts etc, let alone express political or religious views in school.

So maybe I should embrace the idea of being encouraged to bring my whole sepf to work by airing my GC, atheist, republican and anti-Tory views at over a bottle of wine in the staffroom, or indeed the clasroom.

Over the years it’s been pretty important that I don’t bring my whole self to work. My job requires me to be different things to different people. I say all sorts of things to my colleagues I would never say to my patients (largely swearing and a dark sense of humour). I have to leave some of me at the door in order to treat people regardless of whether they are a paedophile who’s daughter has recently reported years of sexual abuse at her fathers hands; the rude and obnoxious middle aged man who thought my junior colleague was my boss because he was male; the abusive alcoholic who is tormenting his ex partner; the young man who tells me he’s really a woman and wants hormones and breasts; the woman whose extended family lived over the road from me causing misery to their neighbours and the whole street.
I leave my whole self behind because without doing so I couldn’t treat any of these people as they should be treated- the same as everyone else.

Douglas IS gay. Or "a gay".

@ScreamingMeMe

Douglas IS gay. Or "a gay".

Yes, I know. But still, I think it's fairly widely understood that 'a gay' is not a great phrase to use. Him being 'a gay' himself is not a get-out clause although I'm sure he'd claim it as such.

But still, I think it's fairly widely understood that 'a gay' is not a great phrase to use.

But why not? He's doing it very thoughtfully. There's a gap in the language - "a lesbian" is in common use, but "a gay" isn't. Making "gay" as a noun acceptable increases expressiveness. Nouns are useful.

Having read his book, he's clearly on a "simplifying English" thing throughout, with a side order of "let's play the Woke language warriors at their own game".

At least he's not telling people off for not saying "a gay", he's just leading by example.

(And at least it means something, unlike the accursed "queer".)

I always enjoy Douglas Murray’s writing even though I don’t agree with everything he says. I think he is surprisingly empathetic at times despite the scorn he aims at those he finds irritating. I like hearing from someone who is a critical thinker and has a different way of looking at the world.