Pronouns at work - help

[HermioneKipper]

We’ve been asked to put our pronouns on our signatures at work. Lots have already done this, has been suggested in team meetings etc but I have studiously ignored it so far.

We’ve now been officially told to do it.

Employer is a stonewall champion and very pro this sort of thing. I’m very anxious about speaking out but will refuse on principle to do it. I do not subscribe to gender ideology and disagree with needing a pronoun. Worried if I say this I will get into trouble.

How can I put it without getting a black mark against my name?

I said that I didn't feel comfortable "outing" myself and that the way I relate to my body is a personal matter.

Sometimes ridicule is the only way. Opposite sex pronouns, neopronouns, mix and match, list every possible acceptable one, "me/I"...

Otherwise I just would stall for as long as possible.

I would reply that as I am still working through my pronouns personally, I am not currently comfortable with publicly announcing them, and appreciate their support during this difficult time. Also let them know that you are aware of the diversity support within the company and appreciate all their hard work supporting everyone with their choices and preferences......

@WhoWants2Know

I said that I didn't feel comfortable "outing" myself and that the way I relate to my body is a personal matter.

I think this is the one they can least take issue with. You could also add that you don’t mind which pronouns people use about you when you’re not even there to hear them anyway.

Unbelievable that people are being forced to do this.

I've found, 'I don't have a gender' with a hard stare, works.

Fortunately my boss is an old school punk feminist who will hold out until the bitter end.

Say that it is well-studied that women are at greater risk of stereotype threat (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotype_threat) when reminded that they are women, and that you have no desire to support a policy that further disadvantages women in the workplace.

Additionally, studies have shown that men rate CVs showing male names more highly than those showing female names, even when the content is identical, suggesting a clear bias. It is conceivable that a similar effect may occur if pronouns are plastered all over email correspondence, reminding everyone who the women are. It would be terrible if women were overlooked, or taken less seriously, during email correspondence, due to the unfair biases of men.

This is madness, I certainly wouldn't want to engage in this at work either and nobody should be forced to.

I like ConfusingWorld's approach, since it doesn't involve pretending to believe in gender ideology (which is what you object to) and you're sticking to the impact this has on you and how it discriminates against you based on your protected characteristic of sex.

If you want to sidestep completely you could say "I don't feel comfortable announcing preferred pronouns" and just stop at that. If asked why just say that your reasons are personal. That would force them to both say that they want to intrude in your personal feelings and don't care about your comfort if they insist.

Or you could say that you want people to use the appropriate pronouns for your sex, and if your name is typically female then no further information is needed.

At my work I just deleted that line from the official signature -- and I use it for all internal emails now where I didn't used to, to make a point .

Can't see how they can sack me for not putting pronouns in my signature !

@WhoWants2Know

I said that I didn't feel comfortable "outing" myself and that the way I relate to my body is a personal matter.

This is what I would say too

I wouldn't say you're not comfortable outing yourself, as that is telling them you subscribe to gender ideology, which you don't.

Tell them you hold gender critical beliefs, ie. You don't believe in gender and pronouns. This is a protected belief from the Forstater case. If they force you to use them, are they not then discriminating against your beliefs?

You may find that other people you work with feel the same way you do.

How can they ‘make’ you? Dear god, I can’t even ‘make’ my team use the correct logo on their email footers.

Ask them why you are being expected to reveal personal information in your email sig - surely this is a GDPR issue.

That’s not a GDPR issue (you have already identified yourself by having your name on there).

Why is this anyones bloody business?

yogyakartaprinciples.org/principle-6/#:~:text=The%20Right%20to%20Privacy,on%20their%20honour%20and%20reputation.

It's transphobic to demand this.

I can’t wait for this guff to blow over and people to wake up.

There seem to be a flurry of these threads recently, I wonder if Stonewall have been putting extra pressure on the "champions" in their protection racket.

I would start off by ignoring it, which is what I'm doing at the moment - and I'm far from being the only one.

If I'm. asked why I've not done it, I plan to keep my answer as short as possible, e.g. 'I don't want to, thank you.'

If they persist I plan to say that gender identity can be a very personal thing and ask them why they're compelling people to declare it. I will phrase it as a question and tell them the bare minimum.

As a PP has said and linked to, refer them to Principle 6 of the Yogyakarta Principles (a human rights document about sexual orientation and gender identity)

Principle 6 - The Right to Privacy

Everyone, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, is entitled to the enjoyment of privacy without arbitrary or unlawful interference....The right to privacy ordinarily includes the choice to disclose or not to disclose information relating to one’s sexual orientation or gender identity ....

@Ereshkigalangcleg

There seem to be a flurry of these threads recently, I wonder if Stonewall have been putting extra pressure on the "champions" in their protection racket.

I think so.

I am not in a position where anyone could harm me personally about any of this, so maybe it is not my place to say.

But could you not just tell the truth? "I do not wish to add pronouns to my email sig because despite what some may affect to believe -- there is actually no such thing as gender identity."

Ask them if they're permitted to hold information about your beliefs about your own masculinity/ femininity under GDPR, and if so, how long it will be kept for and what the purpose is.

Then ask them how you find out which pronouns you have, as you don't want to get it wrong.

I'd just ignore it. Then if anyone asks, say 'I don't want to' politely. If they persist, point them to the Yogyakarta Principles.

Is he very tempted to ask HR what the % of staff who declared their pronouns to be different from their sex is.

I delete contacts who use these now - and not a single one has actually used a pronoun different from their sex.

It would be more useful if their added how they take their tea - because I advise staff (for it is part of my job) to NOT discuss personal information with clients or suppliers unless it’s relevant (NO politics, religion, football… ever).