Should I tell a potential employee I am pregnant?

[Twiggles36]

I had an interview today with a start-up in another European country. I would be working with them as a freelancer, remotely. They are quite a small company and are looking for someone who can guarantee about 15-18 hours per week. As I'd be a freelance collaborator and not an employee, I'm quite sure I wouldn't be given formal maternity leave/pay, I would just not accept any projects for a few weeks when I have the baby. In the interview I did not mention I was pregnant, as I didn't want to hinder my chances, but I also feel a bit deceitful accepting an offer when I know I wouldn't be available for a month or so after my baby is born in the summer, and this could create serious problems for them as I am offering a very specialist service and it wouldn't be easy for them to find someone to fill in for me while I'm away. If they make me an offer, should I tell them I am pregnant and won't be working for a month or so after the baby's born?

Brilliant advice Chateau.

From your point of view, you're not obliged to tell them you're pregnant but it would be professional to let them know any unavailability. If you want the opportunity and steady work then it's a great chance to get that but you'll want to handle it right as word of mouth is invaluable.

From the point of view of someone who often contracts, I'd not be impressed with a contractor who out of the blue just wasn't working for weeks or months, and possibly decided not to come back at all. If they came to me and said 'I will be unavailable from approx X June for 1/2/3 months' in enough time to plan work around it then it's potentially less of an issue. As a start up a delay of a month or two could be catastrophic.

I would probably tell them. All babies are different but I actually think 15-18 hours a week is very doable if the baby sleeps on you in a sling while you're working. Newborn to 5 months is probably the easiest time to work because they sleep so much in the day.

Once they start dropping naps, sitting up, crawling and needing to be entertained then it's game over.

I re-started freelance work for about 4 days per month when DC2 was about 3.5 months old. Did it in times when DH could look after him. But I couldn’t have done even that with DC1. I could just about have kept tabs on a sub-contractor if they were very good.

I think the best solution would be if you can find a trusty sub-contractor. Let the company know that you will be stepping back from the hands-on work for 3 months from summer, but you have this sub-contractor and you will quality assure his/her work. You don’t need to tell them why, as a freelancer you might be managing different client work peaks or anything. As long as they are convinced that you will get them the same standard of work afterwards, it shouldn’t matter. There is still a slight risk if you have to remedy bad work by the sub. And you may decide you want a much longer time with baby but hopefully you can at least by then partly work that out with DH parental leave, childminders etc.

The start-up probably have other people they could turn to, unless your skills are extremely rare. But it’s more reassuring on both sides if you have a plan. Using a sub-contractor keeps the work with you, rather than them going to a more available alternative and then staying with them even when you are ready to work again.

@ChateauMargaux

This is a job that you want and could secure your income stream in the near future, keep your career going long term and have a big impact on your future earning potential. Do not bear this burden alone, share it with your husband.

There are women who go back to work after a very short time off when they have a baby. They do this with support. Could you get a nanny with experience of care of a newborn, a post natal doula or some other form of at home care for the first few months? It could be done with regular housekeeping and food preparation support, but it is likely that having someone who can hold your baby while you work will also be required. Yes, in the first month, breastfed babies can feed 8 to 12 times a day for 45 minutes at a time.. this can mean you could be feeding 50% of the time. (That is one end of the spectrum). After a month, there will be guaranteed longer gaps.

You have a husband. The financial impact and logistical adaptation required resulting from your pregnancy and the care of your baby should be shared between you and your husband.

Does your husband's place of work offer flexible working, work life balance, shared parental leave or any other options for him to take a role in taking care of your child so that you can do the 15 to 18 hours work required? If he could share the paternal leave, then he could have up to 50 weeks of leave and 37 weeks of pay. If he could request parental leave (unpaid leave in blocks of 2 weeks, giving the required notice etc) and use this to help. He could also arrange to have one or two days holiday per week which would get you through around 3 months where he can support you through those days to carve out enough time to work - if you really can get your content done without needing to be totally focussed.

Yes, family time together at weekends would be nice, but there are 24 hours in the day and 7 days a week.. your husband has to work for 40, you have to work for 15 and your baby needs care for 168 of those hours, though they will likely sleep for large portions of that, however there is no guarantee that they will sleep without company. You can prioritise your work and have some family time together without insisting that you stick to father goes to work Monday to Friday, Mother has baby clean and happy, food on the table when he gets home and pretends all of her needs are met and weekends are some blissful time where you look lovingly at each other and your baby and nothing else gets done. Real life is not like that... housework, baby, contracting work all needs to get done as and when it fits... I work part time, flexibly, this often happens when my husband is home. We still make time for each other but I also make sure there is time carved out for my work. My kids are older and I did not work when they were babies.. but people do... find them and find out how it works for them! Get help and do not compare the cost of help with the income you earn. By being at home, you are facilitating your husband's income too.

You could let your prospective collaborator know that you have a prior commitment during the month of June where you would not be available for work for 4 weeks when they offer the job. The challenge will be that your baby could arrive 2 weeks early or 2 weeks late. However, depending on how they react to that knowledge and the fact that you will have 3 months to make a good impression on them, they might be able to be flexible in their demands and requests around that time. You might also be able to get someone to help you meet their requirements.

There are many ways to solve this situation... keep brainstorming!! Maybe ask this in the freelancing section too..

Thank you so much for this! Really appreciate your thoughts. You've given me a lot of ideas to consider.