Parenting Advice Column in the Times

[Igneococcus]

Has Prof Tanya Byron been fast asleep for the past ten years? Has she no idea what is going on in schools?

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/50654cc4-7adf-11ec-9998-b2483743c25e?shareToken=8ce9c22e7244ae5d22e4421c52f6e7fc

I thought that too, plus an absolutely asinine comment about how Joan of arc might have been non binary - no you idiot she lived in a time where the on,y way to do what she wanted was to dress / behave as a man - you have no idea how she felt about it!

I have lost all respect for Byron over this article. The only response to “my daughter doesn’t fit toxic dated gender stereotypes” should be “change the stereotypes”, not “change your daughter’s body and render her sterile and a medical patient for life”.

I stopped reading Tanya’s comments at “sex assigned at birth”. She has no ability to think critically.

Very very disappointing.

She's got form for this. She had a previous column about a girl being bullied by a boy who self identified as a girl and it was full of the captured guff about her being kind to this oh so vulnerable bully. If I recall correctly the comments mostly pointed out how she ignored the bullying in favour of affirming the sacred caste

Weird. It really is as if she's missed the entire debate. Some good comments, though.

I can't see any comments?

Some of the comments may be helpful to this family, at least. Including this, which one would have thought should be blatantly obvious and uncontroversial.

Many presenting with gender issues have conditions such as autistic traits, or a history of trauma, & the possible presence of these should be carefully considered. It might be that transition is the right approach. But non-directive counselling should not start with a specific solution in mind.

What comments? I could not see any.

But she gives away the key to why gender is a social construct now that we have the language to talk about it. You don’t need language to know the women from the men.

I was also very surprised by this article as I do normally really agree with and respect her advice.

@Articus

What comments? I could not see any.

But she gives away the key to why gender is a social construct now that we have the language to talk about it. You don’t need language to know the women from the men.

I had to scroll down a fair way, below the form for submitting questions and links to other columns. This is from following the link in the OP and showing it in the browser, comments (annoyingly) don't appear in the app. Here's the one I quoted.

How very arrogant of the child to turn down the opportunity of counselling because she/they doesn't think they'll be able to find a counsellor for her/them who knows enough of the right stuff. Amazing how teenagers know more than doctors. Who is coaching these teens in this way? Get her/them off the internet.

She is also plugging a book.

"Finally, I want to recommend The Queer Mental Health Workbook written by my colleague Dr Brendan Dunlop and soon to be published (which can be pre-ordered from uk.jkp.com)."

OMG

WTAF is “queer mental health”???

And recommends Pink Therapy.
When your child is ready to engage with a therapist, Pink Therapy holds a directory of therapists that are specifically trained and accredited to work with gender, sexuality and relationship-diverse people (pinktherapy.com).

I am afraid that person is only interested in themselves/image/popularity/money/celebrity status.

@Imnobody4

And recommends Pink Therapy. When your child is ready to engage with a therapist, Pink Therapy holds a directory of therapists that are specifically trained and accredited to work with gender, sexuality and relationship-diverse people (pinktherapy.com).

Which means…affirming rather than questioning.

And what is “relationship diverse”??? Do they mean: gay/lesbian/bisexual? Surely ANY therapist nowadays wouldn’t remotely have an issue with someone needing to discuss their sexuality?

Why the need to “re-brand” sexuality?

The only response to “my daughter doesn’t fit toxic dated gender stereotypes” should be “change the stereotypes”, not “change your daughter’s body and render her sterile and a medical patient for life”.

I've always been somewhat sceptical about pysocolgy and psychiatry. Nonetheless, I have read this column for years and felt the advise was considered and useful. Reading today's comment, I've fully reverted to thinking that most therapy is total guff. What a disappointment.

@FrancescaContini

I stopped reading Tanya’s comments at “sex assigned at birth”. She has no ability to think critically.

Very very disappointing.

Same. If I read anything from anyone who uses the phrase "sex assigned at birth", it's like a signal that the brain has long left the building and has been replaced by woo woo fluff.

@PaleBlueMoonlight

I can't see any comments?

I can't normally see the comments under The Times articles either. But I found I could see them if I used a different browser. That will probably work for you too.

@Franca123

I've always been somewhat sceptical about pysocolgy and psychiatry. Nonetheless, I have read this column for years and felt the advise was considered and useful. Reading today's comment, I've fully reverted to thinking that most therapy is total guff. What a disappointment.

There was a link through a thread here the other day to this article about someone undergoing Jungian type therapy. I found it interesting that, like other examples of Jungian therapy, although a lot of people think it's much less evidence based than these other supposedly scientific approaches, it frankly seems far more substantial and contains far more depth than they do.

quillette.com/2021/03/07/for-our-own-good-we-all-need-a-glimpse-of-the-evil-queen/

@Igneococcus

She is also plugging a book.

"Finally, I want to recommend The Queer Mental Health Workbook written by my colleague Dr Brendan Dunlop and soon to be published (which can be pre-ordered from uk.jkp.com)."

The book is endorsed by Meg John Barker.

There was a thread a few years ago about a publication by Barker, which included this (later deleted) gem: " In some northern working-class contexts femininity is associated with strength and aggression."

This led to women on here self-identifying as trans northern.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3339137-BACP-Gender-Sexual-and-Relationship-Diversity-by-Dr-Meg-John-Barker?pg=1

She lost my respect years ago when I read her memoir, The Skeleton Closet. It was surprisingly self-centred and self-congratulatory, lacking in any depth of insight. I actually finished it thinking, "Shit, this person can't be any good as a pysch. She lacks complex, mature, emotional understanding of other people.

What I find confusing is how gender dysphoria applies to non binary identities. I can understand the traditional story, that someone wants to be female but actually has a male body. But there is no such thing as a 'non binary' body that this girl can transition into. Surely a non binary body can be anything she wants it to be? I would be interested in getting a therapist to explore with her why she is in such torment over her female body.