Parenting Advice Column in the Times

[Igneococcus]

Has Prof Tanya Byron been fast asleep for the past ten years? Has she no idea what is going on in schools?

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/50654cc4-7adf-11ec-9998-b2483743c25e?shareToken=8ce9c22e7244ae5d22e4421c52f6e7fc

@WeeBisom

What I find confusing is how gender dysphoria applies to non binary identities. I can understand the traditional story, that someone wants to be female but actually has a male body. But there is no such thing as a 'non binary' body that this girl can transition into. Surely a non binary body can be anything she wants it to be? I would be interested in getting a therapist to explore with her why she is in such torment over her female body.

It's about opting out of female, not opting in to something specific I think.

GAHgamel, interesting so non binary identity isn't so much its own 'thing' but rather a rejection of her female identity? It's very sad to see, but I can totally get why young women want to reject their female embodiment.

I think there can be a few things going on with NB. But for most, it seems to have a lot with avoiding sexual things in some way - maybe altogether or maybe just parts of them. That can be the fear of having sex, the fear of being a sexual object, a dislike of perceived expectations, or something similar.

In some cases to me it seems to be about a type of reversion to a pre-pubescent body, where the person haven't really even accepted their adult body as part of their self-image. Maybe to a more idyllic childhood state or one that is percieved as safe.

But there is no such thing as a 'non binary' body that this girl can transition into.

There was some disturbing info on a recent thread about 'gender nullification' surgery. Basically, removing secondary sexual characteristics.

@ErrolTheDragon

But there is no such thing as a 'non binary' body that this girl can transition into.

There was some disturbing info on a recent thread about 'gender nullification' surgery. Basically, removing secondary sexual characteristics.

That’s just very shocking to read.

She’s completely negligent here - not to mention batshit when going on about Joan of Arc being trans.

Sex “assigned” at birth, debunked suicide stats, use of homophobic slur “queer” - it’s awful

There was an episode of her podcast with Claudia Winkleman where she had a woman on whose husband had transitioned and iirc she wasn’t supportive to the woman at all. Does anyone remember? I’ll try and find the thread.

Here - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3832833-how-did-we-get-here-podcast

Seems like she has written on this topic before too judging by this comment -

Tanya has swallowed the Kool Aid. She does an advice column in the Times, and tells anyone concerned about gender dysphoric children to affirm them being trans.

@Babdoc
I have lost all respect for Byron over this article. The only response to “my daughter doesn’t fit toxic dated gender stereotypes” should be “change the stereotypes”, not “change your daughter’s body and render her sterile and a medical patient for life”.

Spot on.

I am studying psychology, and I work with therapists, so I ought to be an ideal candidate for the Byron Winkleman podcast, but there was some reason I couldn't bear it, I think it might have been the fawning from Claudia, plus Tanya's use of terms like "sweetheart" (or something in the same vein) to the clients that I just found patronising and condescending. Shame.

I also object to the word queer especially used by heterosexual people, as it doesn't relate to so many of us and it's (a) offensive; and (b) inaccurate, I am not "queer" I'm really quite ordinary.

Sounds like it was all written just to promote her colleague's new book ...see final paragraph: "Finally, I want to recommend The Queer Mental Health Workbook written by my colleague Dr Brendan Dunlop and soon to be published (which can be pre-ordered from uk.jkp.com)."

I feel very sorry for the parent who wrote to her.

I suspect the letter was made up so that Byron could then respond and promote her friend's book. Sadly, it will potentially cause a wide ripple of damage to many children whose parents read this and take it as good advice. I sincerely hope that anyone who has access to the online article adds pointers to resources such as Bayswater Support etc

@MsFogi

I suspect the letter was made up so that Byron could then respond and promote her friend's book. Sadly, it will potentially cause a wide ripple of damage to many children whose parents read this and take it as good advice. I sincerely hope that anyone who has access to the online article adds pointers to resources such as Bayswater Support etc

Spot on.

The comments are very good - informative with some posters signposting alternative groups for advice.
Sometimes she produces articles like this that fail to answer a question and regurgitate ideological flannel - highlighting her lack of insight and rendering her useless as a support. And other times I've read insightful and really helpful columns. Disappointing that she has such limited awareness of the complexities of this specific issue.

There are no comments any longer. Censorship?

“Finally, I want to recommend The Queer Mental Health Workbook written by my colleague Dr Brendan Dunlop and soon to be published (which can be pre-ordered from uk.jkp.com)."

What a timely letter to respond to!

@Articus

There are no comments any longer. Censorship?

They're still there - all 246 of them, mainly informative, knowledgeable and centring the needs of children rather than trying to promote a mate's book.

On a more optimistic note, there was a similar response from TB to a grandmother concerned about a trans-identifying child 2-3 years ago, which attracted no challenge from readers. These days, thanks to the wonderful Janice Turner and colleagues, Times readers are 95% GC. Go Janice! 😀

Here you are MissLucyEyelesbarrow The other cringeworthy column where the victim of bullying was completely ignored in favour of the bully :

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/0e78b2de-f50f-11e6-a45f-cc1b99ad256c?shareToken=5d7c7fa3161c90d28e446ac817a1da0d

Thanks, @Goatsaregreat - the internet never forgets

[quote Goatsaregreat]Here you are MissLucyEyelesbarrow The other cringeworthy column where the victim of bullying was completely ignored in favour of the bully :

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/0e78b2de-f50f-11e6-a45f-cc1b99ad256c?shareToken=5d7c7fa3161c90d28e446ac817a1da0d[/quote]
When I was a kid I had a friend who started bullying me. I was "different" and I think it makes her feel more accepted when she was horrible to me that if she would try to support me.

I cut her off completely, did my mental health the world of good. No kid need to "support" or appease their bully, that's terrible advice.

Spot on TheWeeDonkey What's unbelievable is that this is a generally insightful professional who spent time writing that column. Yet despite all her years of training, one mention of trans and she reverts to spouting meaningless activist drivel about "trans children" and completely ignored the key issue of bullying (which was signposted by the writer, so it wasn't hard to spot fgs).

And she's a professional who allegedly understands psychology.

@FrancescaContini

And what is “relationship diverse”??? Do they mean: gay/lesbian/bisexual? Surely ANY therapist nowadays wouldn’t remotely have an issue with someone needing to discuss their sexuality?

Why the need to “re-brand” sexuality?

Nope. Relationship-diverse means people who are polyamorous/have open relationships and so on.