Shouted at and called a bigot

[MapleAple]

I had a horrible night on Friday and feel really sad and disappointed in myself.

I go to the pub monthly as part of a meet-up for a hobby group. Trans issues have never come up in conversation before.

I'm not neurotypical and find it very hard to verbally debate/discuss things. I didn't engage in a conversation or automatically agree with something, and the person leading the conversation noticed this and started questioning me, very loudly and directly.

I'd love to be tough enough to state my feelings and have a conversation but I find it really difficult to process fast speech or frame responses and in this situation I was basically monologued at by this person very loudly, calling me a transphobe and various other things, I kept trying to get a word in, but then got upset because the manner of the person speaking was very aggressive. Basically left in tears.

I don't think I'll go back. She didn't want to hear what I had to say because I didn't immediately agree that all TWAW. I'm disappointed in myself for not being able to speak up, but I find myself completely crumbling in these situations.

I'm sure many others have felt unable to speak up and say how they feel. It's awful.

She made me feel like I was basically an evil disgusting bitch for not agreeing.

Does anyone else just completely fall apart when discussing these things with very vocally dominant and shouty people?

nobody really spoke up, apart from a few "hmmm, no, I don't think it's the same" when the shouty woman compared me to a racist and said that being GC is the same as being racist.

OP, you may not feel that you achieved much, but I reckon that a couple of lurkers will have something to think about.

I think you were brave. And it won't have gone unnoticed that this woman bullied you and made you cry for no reason whatsoever.

It's a shame that no one spoke up for you. They may well have not wanted this person's wrath to be directed towards them, but that's no excuse. You didn't deserve to be treated that way.

I agree with pp that you should message the organiser. I am surprised no one has been in touch with you since. It might be that people will approach you next week if you go back, although I totally understand not wanting to go back. Not going back will also have an effect on people.

You shouldn't be bullied out of your hobby group. If you don't feel able to go back, could you start a group of your own?