Never forget how much they fucking hate us

[JustcameoutGC]

Apologies for the guardian link, but this is such a distressing read.
I had no idea of how bad revenge porn was and no clue that the vast majority of it is totally legal.
Until men stop behaving like this, no men in our spaces.

www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/06/i-have-moments-of-shame-i-cant-control-the-lives-ruined-by-explicit-collector-culture

I had no idea this was happening, disgusting.

It was recently brought home to me just how much men hate us when I read about the first public toilet facilities for women, and now men trashed them and set fire to them because they couldn't stand the idea of it.

I'm not sure it hatred, I think it's worse than that. I think they see us as a utility; not even human. We exist solely to service their every need and any suggestion we might have needs of our own is a hate crime against men.

I really fear what the future holds for women.

It is so odd that the law and the police are failing to see the link between their attitude to women being treated this way on these sites and how that also permeates into a more general tolerance and blindness to offences against women.

It’s so utterly grim. I have implored my DDs to never ever let anyone take a photo of them this way no matter what, but I am still fearful for them. And those poor women whose pictures are there forever 😔.

This is also why I can’t abide people defending sites like OnlyFans, and the naivety of those who post there. The site has images stolen all the time, millions apparently, and shared in places like this, so those women who think they’re doing something empowering are being exploited without their knowledge and long after they’ve decided they don’t want or need to do it anymore.

The site is still up and the comments are absolutely disgusting.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

The site is still up and the comments are absolutely disgusting.

This is apparently a girl he went to school with. Who he likes. Who was “lovely”

But still doesn’t deserve any respect.

That’s grim I never let my DH take intimate pictures of me but I do worry about hidden cameras in changing rooms and toilets. Plenty of companies have had hidden cameras in their toilets but they mostly ensure the info doesn’t go public.
Sharing of any intimate pictures without permission needs to be illegal

Yes, it should be. It's so widespread there should be an escalating series of fines leading (if offenders refuse to get the message) to a criminal record, the sex offenders' register, and finally to jail time.

Instead, we get vague noises about "de-stigmatising" porn and selling sex. (Excuse me while I vomit.)

Instead, we get vague noises about "de-stigmatising" porn and selling sex. (Excuse me while I vomit.)

It’s so clever isn’t it?

Those of us who oppose women and girls being degraded and abused in this way are the ones causing the issue. If we’d just shut up, the women and girls wouldn’t feel any negative feelings about men speaking about them in this way and using their images in this way. They wouldn’t feel afraid because their personal and identifiable details are shared online if women would just shut up.

It’s a very clever way of shutting down any opposition, so long as you don’t delve beyond taglines like “empowerment” and “shaming”

The site is surely a massive doxxing site with details of addresses and other information? How can it possibly be legal? Apart from anything else it puts these women at huge risk, it's terrible.

Also shocked at this twitter thread - apparently women are meant to take it as a compliment when men ask if they have an only fans site, or suggest they get one.

"The best ones are the ones who say they want to help out by giving you money on OnlyFans. Perhaps they could just send you money without getting to look at your tits? Just a thought."

"And then they pretend that they asked to help YOU out if you get upset. I was at work, a mad asked and I told him it was an inappropriate question and to please leave me alone. He started yelling that he just wanted to support young women in his community. I hate it."

twitter.com/somethingterfy/status/1475853816922783747?s=21

Christ.

“People would rather think perpetrators of intimate image abuse are either perverts or an extremely malicious ‘other’ type of person,” she says. “The truth is that it’s everyday men and boys. Closed groups, lad chats, bonding over explicit images and ‘banter’ has become absolutely ubiquitous.”

"In one case, one woman said,the officer actuallyyawned and said it was the 20th AnonIB report of the day"
Good grief.

"“Evidence from studies shows that just as teenage girls are pressured to send nudes, teenage boys are also feeling pressure to get nudes and share them, to gain kudos. Collecting digital trophies is becoming part of being a boy and a man – that’s what we need to change.”

What, like boys are pressured by their mates to join in throwing stones at cats and vandalising things? They know it's a scummy, shameful thing to do.

This is just horrific

Thankyou for posting this. I had heard of revenge porn and had recently found out (thanks to a mumsnet thread) there are some men who will show off/exchange explicit photos of their female partners ( ex or otherwise) down the pub etc.

I’ve just sent the guardian link to my 24 yr old DD, to ask if it common knowledge among her age group.

Will send it on to a few of my friends who have daughters (and sons).

Maybe this is one of the threads we do want the lazy reporters to pick up?

there are some men who will show off/exchange explicit photos of their female partners ( ex or otherwise) down the pub etc

I know men who do this. Without sounding like I'm blaming victims, it is really important that women stop sending naked selfies. It's even possible to have them pinched off a cloud based server, although that is less likely.

These men swear they'd never do such a thing and then swap images like top trumps cards or rare Pokémon. Often the women never find out.

I was trying to see if there was a site about what once would have been called ‘gentlemanly’ -as opposed to cad - behaviour (about never talking about private sexual matters relating to your wife, girlfriend, or anyone really,to others) that might apply to photos and videos now they are so common.

I couldn’t find anything, at least not with a short search.

I saw there is a site called watch my girlfriend.porn and a mention below ‘Watch three horny gentlemen exploit a slut’s holes’

How right you are OP about the hate. Imagine calling themselves gentlemen and her a slut?!

The article was shocking - both that it happens but also we are not more aware of these sites.

The law and safeguarding procedures seem on a back foot with this- as with other aspects of policing the internet. There must be a way of highlighting risks to women.

Simply cannot believe it’s not illegal. Also really sad to read this on the day heard about it becoming illegal to take photos of breastfeeding mothers. One step forward- a hundred back

Absolutely sickening to read.

One thing that stood out is how this is facilitated by Reddit, when they'll shut down feminist boards. I really can't believe that's something they let stand.

@FannyCann

The site is surely a massive doxxing site with details of addresses and other information? How can it possibly be legal? Apart from anything else it puts these women at huge risk, it's terrible.

It's not legal, no. But it's difficult to get a conviction, there are too many loopholes. According to the article, the Dutch police got the site shut down but they simply moved it to Russia. Internet crime is a nightmare for the police because of its global nature. You simply base your operation in a dodgy country and you can act with impunity.

@WomanStillNotAFeeling

That’s grim I never let my DH take intimate pictures of me but I do worry about hidden cameras in changing rooms and toilets. Plenty of companies have had hidden cameras in their toilets but they mostly ensure the info doesn’t go public. Sharing of any intimate pictures without permission needs to be illegal

"Plenty of companies have had hidden cameras in their toilets"

What?

Google is your friend, Pie

Even IKEA was caught with cameras in its employee loos.

Now perhaps we could get back to the actual issue?

Christ this is fucking horrible. Our MPs need an urgent education in porn culture and what it’s doing to women and girls and how MPs need to urgently build a modern system in law to deal with it.