Books for gender non conforming 6 yo

[JustcameoutGC]

Morning all. My 6 yo daughter is not a very girly girl. She likes minecraft, coding and is beginning to prefer the company of boys. So far so good. However, gender stereotypes are so reinforced from such an early age (girls do sparkly unicorns, boys do football) she is beginning to say things like she must be a boy, or sometimes she is a girl and sometimes she is a boy. I have spoken to her about it at length, and as far as i can tell, there is no sense of gender dysphoria present. She is just adding 2 and 2 and getting 5. Boys like minecraft, i like minecraft, maybe i am a boy.

Does anyone have any good suggestions for books i can get her that show that boys and girls can and should wear and do anything.

If we focused on breaking down gender stereotypes, we wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.
I have already picked up My body is Me.

'The Most Magnificent Thing' is a book that features a non girly-girl who likes inventing stuff.

Similarly 'Ada Twist, Scientist' or 'Rosie Greer, Engineer'

Film-wise the girl in 'Inside Out' is again, not very girly and loves ice hockey

I would look at books by Hilary McKay. She writes books for a variety of age groups, mostly with female protagonists, and they are always 3-dimensional people who like a variety of things

@Echobelly

'The Most Magnificent Thing' is a book that features a non girly-girl who likes inventing stuff.

Similarly 'Ada Twist, Scientist' or 'Rosie Greer, Engineer'

Film-wise the girl in 'Inside Out' is again, not very girly and loves ice hockey

Couldn't agree more with these recommendations. Dd loves these books. I have a similar dd and always focus on biology 'you're a girl because you have eggs in your tummy'. When she occasionally says she's more like a boy we talk about how stupid it us that some people think boys and girls have to behave in a certain way.

Do also loves the 13 storey treehouse books. The main characters are two boys but there's also a girl character who isn't remotely 'girly'. The books are really funny and got dd into reading independently.

I recommend both these books.

My dd never even owned a dress....liked Dr Who, dragons, Sci-Fi and MineCraft. She's now 17. Def still not 'girlie' (never really sure what that means, but she never wears skirts or dresses, only occasionally wears a tiny bit of make up etc) but she's embraced womanhood and understands that women are many different things.

Only once my Dd said to me "I want to be a boy" when she was young. I just asked "why do you say that?". She said "Boys get to do cooler stuff". So that opened up a conversation about how girls can do/be anything,

I'm hoping your DD will get there too.

My kids are allowed to watch a certain amount of (vetted) minecraft videos on YouTube and they like Briannaplayz,she's most definitely female and the channel is family friendly - her husband is also a minecraft YouTuber.

I find I often have to go out of my way these days to find representation of women and girls doing stereotypically boys things. Older stuff from the 90s much better - the Magic Schoolbus is a good one for a female scientist main character for instance.

Any ideas also for teens on this genre please

Thanks all really helpful. @Xiaoxiong many thanks for that you tube suggestion. We have had to banish you tube completely, bit it is so hard to avoid. I think i could live with her watching a female minecrafter. I find those things so obnoxious.

Girls can do anything!!
I'd also look at the little people books, we have several books about Mary Anning as my daughter is super into paleontology.
Female role models/ stories in areas of interest are so important. To be honest it's important in all areas of study. What is she doing in history? Look for some books about women in or around that time frame too.
History is so male-centred.

Socialistcat I'm not sure the exact age group but have a look at these.

Difficult Women is very good - not aimed at teens of course but it depends on the reading ability/age range really.

There is a women in science collection she might be a good buy if she's into STEM.

Maybe also books like how to train your dragon - it’s ostensibly very male, mostly boy Viking warriors, but there are a load of characters who are also female warriors. The hero’s mum is a mysterious legendary Viking warrior. It touches on the initial expectation that girls don’t fight, then rips it to pieces. Also the books are truly excellent.

My Body is Me by Rachel Rooney.

I have similar daughter, now eight. One thing I do is point out any woman in the news etc that does something associated with male stereotypes. Her current hero is the first woman to become an Admiral in the navy or something like that. (She has now declared shes joining the Navy to be an engineer, so this may be considered a backfire...)

And this is for when she’s older, but I have always loved reading more historical novels too - The Armourers House by Rosemary Sutcliff has a Tudor girl who is desperate to go to sea like the boys. It doesn’t hurt to see very clearly how the expectations and assumptions of a sex has changed over time - I was always outraged at the unfairness, and it reminds you that actually, it’s all about society’s expectation, which changes, and not about actual capability and inner “girliness”.

@socialistcat

Any ideas also for teens on this genre please

The Lie Tree by Frances Hardinge is a very thoughtful book about a Victorian girl who wants to become a paleontologist.

Bad Faith by Gillian Philip

@socialistcat

My girls liked things like the hunger games, action based books. I also bought them toys from the "boys" aisle from babies - one is now an engineer in a mostly male job, the mechano did the trick . Both love pretty clothes and make up I should add so not tomboys.

I wouldn't recommend the Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls book. It features a young trans girl who knew she was trans because she liked pink and glitter.....

Just use the word unisex or “non-girly.” I was a bit of a tomboy in primary school, but became “girly” in my mid teens. The “Little People” books are great. They are about inspirational women and show that women can do the same jobs as men.

@socialistcat has your teen read the His Dark Materials or the Hunger Games trilogies? Both have strong females leads subverting traditional gender expectations (though I think the endings of both can be argued as a bit controversial from a feminist perspective - great discussion starters though).

[quote Boobeedoo]@socialistcat has your teen read the His Dark Materials or the Hunger Games trilogies? Both have strong females leads subverting traditional gender expectations (though I think the endings of both can be argued as a bit controversial from a feminist perspective - great discussion starters though).[/quote]
I loved these books when I was a teen!

The worst princess and princess smarty pants are good.

Hilda books - these are longer but open up the idea of girls as explorers and strong, brave characters.

The ikabog (woo jk!) Has a strong female character in it. My 6yo loved it.

I asked my girls who are a similar age and know gender stereotypes are bullsh*t and they reccomended the following:
Darcy Burdock
Harry Potter
Famous five/ secret 7
Pamela butchart

Pippi Longstocking?

@MsGoodenough

I wouldn't recommend the Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls book. It features a young trans girl who knew she was trans because she liked pink and glitter.....

I was about to say that. Much snorted over by my young daughters who were outraged by it and ripped it out. It is about how the boy, aged 6 or so, managed to force his school into letting him use the female facilities. So you have lots of inspiring women who changed history and then a little boy whose parents managed to bully their school into changing the girls facilities to mixed sex.

www.amightygirl.com/books full of suggestions