Fabulous Lauren Black and How A Butch Lesbian Reacts to A Bathroom Challenge

[EmbarrassingHadrosaurus]

Today was the very first day in my life where, at a pub in the temple bar district of Dublin, I was challenged in a bathroom because a lovely lady thought I was a man. She couldn't see my face just my hair from behind and what I was wearing.

Her words to me where "Excuse me, this is a women's bathroom", to which I turned around and replied "of course it is that's why I'm standing in it". I had a massive smile on my face.

I was not annoyed, I was not offended at being 'misgendered', or rather 'incorrectly sexed'. I was so pleased, I asked her if I could give her a hug and congratulated her for protecting women's spaces because that takes guts.

I received about 100 apologies after, but I told the lady it was perfectly fine and that she didn't do anything wrong at all. It was a genuine mistake, there was no offence taken and I do have short hair and masculine presentation after all.

Most butch lesbians don't get harassed in toilets by women, we get challenged by boundaried and concerned women who make an honest mistake and apologise immediately. This is how it's done

mobile.twitter.com/LaurenGNC_Butch/status/1464726249910247426

Some heartwarming discussion in the comments on that thread: "This is the way women handle things between them."

Lovely

Lauren and Ceri are superstars ⭐️

@FedUpWithBriiiiick

Lauren and Ceri are superstars ⭐️

Aren't they just!

Such dignity and Lauren introduced a lovely warm humour into her initial response. As someone on the Twitter thread remarks:

you’ve taken something that TRAs like to insist is a problem, shown that it’s actually not a problem at all, but a strength, and reinforced assertiveness, boundaries and politeness.

A lovely and perfectly reasonable interaction between two adult human females.

Lauren and Ceri are ladies through and through, in the real sense of that word.
Lucky children to have such gracious and strong parents.
Applause also to the brave lady who challenged her.

Very much the grownup way of acting, Lauren is a

Yes I saw this, really heartening and a lovely interaction

What a great interaction.

Brava, Lauren!

And brava, too, for this:

I was not annoyed, I was not offended at being 'misgendered', or rather 'incorrectly sexed'. I was so pleased, I asked her if I could give her a hug and congratulated her for protecting women's spaces because that takes guts.

Love this.

This has cheered me up no end ! A brilliant , mature , sensible response .

Tempted to move to Dublin....

Yes, that was a very classy response 💖

This is excellent.

I mean that's great and all but I've been threatened several times by people thinking I'm in the wrong toilet.

That’s a great reaction from Lauren!

I get misgendered a lot, but rarely by women and never in loos. If I ever do, I’m going to try to remember Lauren’s approach.

I’m another woman who is frequently misgendered, I have been challenged once in the ladies and it was done politely and I responded the same way. If it happens again I will use Lauren’s words and congratulate the questioner for upholding women’s boundaries.

I get this, and I'm happy how it worked out in this case, because Lauren is a Woman. So obviously Lauren should be using the Women's facilities.

But.

Suppose the person had actually been a man, and had responded like Lauren did?

What then?

What would the challenger have said or done, next?

And huge credit to Lauren and the other woman for their exchange, in case anyone was wondering.

In my view, a transwoman aho responded exactly like that would be fine with me, apart from the hug, perhaps, but that would go for whoever - I don't usually hug strangers of any description.

If the response was hostile and aggressive, that woud be different.

Come on, women can tell the difference between a lesbian and a man! It's obvious that one is a woman and one is a man.

Sex is obvious. And nothing to do with sexual preference.

In my view, a transwoman aho responded exactly like that would be fine with me

Could you advise me how you (or I) would be able to tell the difference between a transwoman and a man please?

It’s a question that gets asked so much but I’ve never seen an answer.

The civilised counterpart of this is Fionne Olander's encounter in the mens loos "are you a guy?" "Yes" ...."well, you're a very pretty guy" .

Suppose the person had actually been a man, and had responded like Lauren did?
They might have given the first part of the response but presumably not the second. But in any case what would happen then...probably nothing but the woman would at least have asserted women's boundaries. Perhaps the TW would have then gone away and thought about it - there are TW who have realised they should respect women's rights and desisted from using female facilities.