Fabulous Lauren Black and How A Butch Lesbian Reacts to A Bathroom Challenge

[EmbarrassingHadrosaurus]

Today was the very first day in my life where, at a pub in the temple bar district of Dublin, I was challenged in a bathroom because a lovely lady thought I was a man. She couldn't see my face just my hair from behind and what I was wearing.

Her words to me where "Excuse me, this is a women's bathroom", to which I turned around and replied "of course it is that's why I'm standing in it". I had a massive smile on my face.

I was not annoyed, I was not offended at being 'misgendered', or rather 'incorrectly sexed'. I was so pleased, I asked her if I could give her a hug and congratulated her for protecting women's spaces because that takes guts.

I received about 100 apologies after, but I told the lady it was perfectly fine and that she didn't do anything wrong at all. It was a genuine mistake, there was no offence taken and I do have short hair and masculine presentation after all.

Most butch lesbians don't get harassed in toilets by women, we get challenged by boundaried and concerned women who make an honest mistake and apologise immediately. This is how it's done

mobile.twitter.com/LaurenGNC_Butch/status/1464726249910247426

Some heartwarming discussion in the comments on that thread: "This is the way women handle things between them."

A transwoman has a lady brain.

rolls eyes

@Awkwardy

Tempted to move to Dublin....

You'd be mighty disappointed when you found they didn't live here and you'd be in a place where Self-ID already exists (You'd be very welcome here of course!)

Fantastic response by Lauren.

That was for Megacervixosaurus.

Tempted to make myself look as masculine as possible, go to the ladies, and try Lauren's line.
I don't think I'd get mistaken though, even with a fake moustache.

@NewlyGranny yes exactly, we can all tell men from women.

So I don’t understand how, as you’ve previously said, you’d be ok with a transwoman in the women’s toilets, unless I’ve misunderstood your previous post.

They shouldn’t be there regardless of whether they’re discreetly fixing their hair and make-up in the mirror or slipping in and out without a fuss.

Plus you didn’t really answer the question - how do we tell a ‘genuine’ transwoman (male) from a non transwoman (male)?

@NewlyGranny

In my view, a transwoman aho responded exactly like that would be fine with me, apart from the hug, perhaps, but that would go for whoever - I don't usually hug strangers of any description.

If the response was hostile and aggressive, that woud be different.

From a TW the reply "of course it is that's why I'm standing in it". with a massive smile on their face^^ IS aggressive and hostile.

Lauren is a star and a very brave woman. Especially with the prices in bloody Temple Bar.

Oh wow, my answer to the basic "how to tell men from women" got deleted! I worded it so neutrally and respectfully, too. So we can't mention an adam's apple or hairy wrists now?

Stap me! As my old dad (he/him/his) used to say.

I guess we have to suck it all up and refuse to recognise the evidence of our eyes, then.

@NewlyGranny

I guess we have to suck it all up and refuse to recognise the evidence of our eyes, then.

Yes. There are contexts in which it seems there is to be no attention paid to the evidence that our senses and interpretations convey - not even when these are triggered by survival mechanisms.

Well, Megacervixosaurus, I guess the reason you never get an answer to your question is that the answers all get deleted! But you're right, I didn't answer your actual question and I won't try for fear of another deletion.

But I will say this: there is no telling a "real" transwoman from someone just fooling around on a night out. That's because the Stonewall umbrella is so vast it covers every conceivable permutation. You literally cannot tell, and it's like that so we can't challenge anybody.

Total colonisation.

Challenged this morning. Slightly startled lady said to me “the men’s is next door.” She continued to look less than convinced when I said I wasn’t a man. But I truly did not mind and I did not experience it as violence.

My experience too, somepeople