People who mother

[IamAporcupine]

It was mother's day at my home country yesterday.
A friend shared an IG post critisising how all the advertisement for presents was still around cooking/cleaning/household appliances (shocking, I know). It had a 'fuck off' caption, and then a blurb with a 'happy people who mother's day!'

So who the hell are we trying to include here?

It must be 'persons' who have children (biological or adoptive) but because they do not 'feel' they are women cannot be called mothers?!
But surely if they feel they are men/male, then they would be happy to celebrate father's day. So this is cattering only for those who do not feel either male/female, or that they change 'gender' every day, or any other combination, correct?

Allegedly, they are OK with using the word mother as a verb to describe their role, but not with the same word used to describe them?
Again, it's OK to use a 'gendered' verb but not the word itself?

I know we are bodies with vaginas / persons who menstruate / etc etc, not sure why this one upset me so much. I guess because I love being a mother.

Also, when I commented with a 'this is crap', my friend asked a desingenious 'why?' so I can see the argument comming...

Also, would 'because people who mother, are mothers' be a reasonable reply?

I would hazard a guess this isn't a gender thing but a weird general Woke thing.

They don't like nouns or possessives for people cos it makes them sound like "objects". So not "my wife" (horror) but "the person I am married to". And so on and so forth.

Fuck me, they're annoying and stupid.

Just roll your eyes. It's teenage silliness. They'll grow out of it.

I think the ads are aiming to sell crap to aunts and grandmothers and mums gay partner etc who may be mother figures. Just watched a Body Shop ad when I googled "people who mother" as I also found it a strange way to say Mother's Day!

@NecessaryScene

I would hazard a guess this isn't a gender thing but a weird general Woke thing.

They don't like nouns or possessives for people cos it makes them sound like "objects". So not "my wife" (horror) but "the person I am married to". And so on and so forth.

Fuck me, they're annoying and stupid.

That's interesting, I had not thought of it that way.

There must be a lot of mother figures for people who are not their actual mother. Plus single dads on their own being both parent. It's fine, more inclusive, I think.

@Avarua

Just roll your eyes. It's teenage silliness. They'll grow out of it.

We are all 50!!

If Mothers' Day is a distressing concept for transmen and non-binary female people who bear children, the logical thing would be for them to say "that day isn't for us, it carries too much baggage, and so we'll select a different day for our identity-specific parenthood to show our difference". What could be wrong with a compromise in which the identities of people on both sides are shown respect?

@Tobogganist

I think the ads are aiming to sell crap to aunts and grandmothers and mums gay partner etc who may be mother figures. Just watched a Body Shop ad when I googled "people who mother" as I also found it a strange way to say Mother's Day!

No, no. I obviously did not explain it well.

This was a clearly feminist cartoon critisising the type of presents that are still adevertised for mother's day. It then had the 'inclusive' line, written by the illustrator.

@HarebrightCedarmoon

There must be a lot of mother figures for people who are not their actual mother. Plus single dads on their own being both parent. It's fine, more inclusive, I think.

Why should single dads be celebrated on Mother's day?

Why not, if they are both mother and father? People doing both deserve both days.

@HarebrightCedarmoon

Why not, if they are both mother and father? People doing both deserve both days.

Because they are not...? They are single parents who do all the work by themselves.

I think the ads are aiming to sell crap to aunts and grandmothers and mums gay partner etc who may be mother figures.

Primary caregiver’s day?

You seem very hung up on labels, OP.

What is a father supposed to do that a mother doesn't do, and vice versa? ( aside from the obvious due to biology)

My GS has had a difficult start in life. Parents split when she was very young, doesn't have much contact with father. Has had a very difficult relationship with mother, has a violent step father. Over the years has lived with me off and on, now old enough to say no longer wants contact with mother and lives with me permanently. Currently studying A levels and doing very well. I guess I'm the closest thing to a mother but I'm not, I'm too old.

I think the verb is appropriate in our situation.

@HarebrightCedarmoon

Why not, if they are both mother and father? People doing both deserve both days.

You can't be mother and father! Unless you are really hung up on gender roles. You either gave birth or you didn't.

I think that attitude is bigotted, and at best unimaginitive. I can think of several examples off the top of my head, where women are mothers without giving birth.

@HarebrightCedarmoon

I think that attitude is bigotted, and at best unimaginitive. I can think of several examples off the top of my head, where women are mothers without giving birth.

True true. Women though.

@ancientgran

My GS has had a difficult start in life. Parents split when she was very young, doesn't have much contact with father. Has had a very difficult relationship with mother, has a violent step father. Over the years has lived with me off and on, now old enough to say no longer wants contact with mother and lives with me permanently. Currently studying A levels and doing very well. I guess I'm the closest thing to a mother but I'm not, I'm too old.

I think the verb is appropriate in our situation.

I totally get this, and I agree with you. I would say you are her mother figure.

Maybe I should have also clarified that in the language this was written, the word mother as verb is extremely rare. There are plenty of ways to include 'mother figures', but I do nto think this is not one.

*I do not think this is one

I've never thought of how you would include mother figures, mothering seems appropriate to me as I think that's what I do but I'd be interested in what you would find more appropriate as I've obviously never thought of it. Having said all that I don't need a card, I get my thanks in other ways, particularly in how school has turned round.

@HarebrightCedarmoon

There must be a lot of mother figures for people who are not their actual mother. Plus single dads on their own being both parent. It's fine, more inclusive, I think.

I'm pretty sure that NO MOTHERS EVER ever would have a problem with kids thanking mother figures or dads on mother's day. I'm pretty sure that having a day for women who birthed every single child that has ever lived is fine too.

Apologies, I do not seem to get my words right today.
What I mean is that the choice of words makes me think the intention was mainly to avoid the word mother, not to include women like you. Hope that makes a bit more sense.

@IamAporcupine

Apologies, I do not seem to get my words right today. What I mean is that the choice of words makes me think the intention was mainly to avoid the word mother, not to include women like you. Hope that makes a bit more sense.

Oh yes that is clearer.