Employee letters and emails boardline abusive, I suspect it's worse due to my sex. So what's my next move?

[Femalearchaeopteryx]

I run my family manufacturing business its a male dominated industry and until recently no women had been in any roles except administration.

My Dad is semi retired but will never fully retire it's his lifes work. He has a very authoritative style and he's also tall so looks domineering as well.
I can be authoritative but I believe that a mix of leadership styles is best but I lean towards autocratic. I'm tallish but softly spoken and I look nice/kind so don't look scary (like most women really).

I came into the business having done leadership roles elsewhere. I quickly realised that it needed a massive overhaul as with many businesses that have grown bigger organically it had very little control, procedures or processes in place, there was & clearly still is a poor culture of petty bullying and blaming also an individual piece work bonus system that drove division rather than teamwork to get the product finished.

Luckily I managed to get us a huge government grant close to a million that is specifically for improving manufacturing via training/coaching/mentoring to help with improvements and change.

As part of the improvements we have an anonymous employee survey and suggestion box.

We have also just got rid of the bonus system with the new pay system everyone is earning more and their pay is more stable throughout the year.

Hopefully that has given you enough background.

So we have been getting letters from a group of employees that are increasingly aggressive and rude. Which started when we changed the pay system. Those we have people's signatures and after the last letter we will be discussing with each individual and launching an investigation as the letter overstepped, into abuse.

We have also been getting rude aggressive emails from our employee engagement I'm considering if I should publish extracts (obviously anonymised) in our employee newsletter and raise the abuse the leadership team have been receiving although I am not sure though if that just gives these kind of people more power.

Mostly of the 90 odd employees it will only be a few and I know who that are behaving in this way.

I am sure a lot of this is to do with my sex and a bit of a power play...put me in my place kind of thing...So I'd be interested to hear from other women what their response would be.

And before anyone complains I do know what I am doing and have lots of experience managing people, I'm just interested in other women's thoughts and insight as particularly MN are a knowledgeable and experienced lot.

Are the letters separate to the anonymous survey and the suggestion box?

I'm definitely not an expert but I would be inclined to play hardball, politely but firmly. If employees are being rude and abusive to management, then surely there are HR procedures and sanctions that could be worked through?

I think broadly speaking the most successful tactic is to rise above it, but be ruthless in managing out people who don’t fit the culture you want. I would not print extracts, that feels too much like trying to get the others to side with you and could back fire. I’d keep it very professional, but not too friendly. In the end, you may have to shed persistent troublemakers if they can’t lose the 1970’s attitudes.

Don't publish extracts in the newsletter.

I would add something to the newsletter about professionalism and respect, point to company values/policy if you have something that covers appropriate behaviours.

Absolutely address via disciplinary process with any employees you know and can evidence are being aggressive.

Yes they are not enough details that I suspect the same one or two people.

We are playing hardball but fair on what we can prove. Luckily there's a great senior and junior leadership team and we all back each other.

Yes, I do think women get more shit, regardless of their excellent performance. I have been in a leadership role for 4 years and people think they can walk all over you. I wouldn't publish the extracts. That will give them more power. I would get the individual people involved and deal with them 1 by 1. Good luck.

@Sportsnight

I think broadly speaking the most successful tactic is to rise above it, but be ruthless in managing out people who don’t fit the culture you want. I would not print extracts, that feels too much like trying to get the others to side with you and could back fire. I’d keep it very professional, but not too friendly. In the end, you may have to shed persistent troublemakers if they can’t lose the 1970’s attitudes.

That was my counter thought to. It also helps to poor me/us. Like we need protecting.

Yes I've already managed out a few but interestingly we are split across a few sites and I hadn't done anything ruthless and this one site... Maybe it's time!

Feels like look at this poor us
not the gobbledygook I wrote!

Thanks Needs thing is I suspect that they think I'm an easy touch where as actually I already have more control and over sight than my DF ever had. I also follow through and don't let things slide.

Did anyone lose out when the pay system was changed? Was anyone doing well enough at the piece work to get substantially more under the bonus scheme than they do now?

If so, then of course they shouldn’t be abusive but I could understand them being upset. If not, and if in fact everyone is now earning more with the new scheme, then I would make a point of THAT in the newsletter, rather than printing the extracts you mention in your OP.

Keep the emphasis on the positives in what you’re changing and most will eventually come round without having to manage them out.

Yes, a quick comparison of the pay over the years would probably give you some idea who is causing trouble.

Yes no one is losing everyone is gaining. We were very careful of that as actually do want to be fair. Whilst also getting rid of a unfair difficult to control system.

We have already written to every employee with the details and with the letter writing lot we have done so on more than one occasion plus offered individual meetings so they cod compare to their previous salary confidentially.

Sadly some of this is legacy from the culture I inherited.

Oh funnily one of the things they are being most abusive about is that me or the factory director are refusing to have a group meeting with them to discuss their grievances, (we've offered them other avenues to express these). I know exactly what would happen if we did, the ring leaders would use it to show their power and we'd have loads of grand standing.

When people respond to anonymous surveys I think they do sometimes express themselves in unprofessional ways, I wouldn't take it to heart. But if it's not anonymous I would take disciplinary action against them.

@HollowTalk

Yes, a quick comparison of the pay over the years would probably give you some idea who is causing trouble.

Actually the biggest earner (who did know how to work the system) is well on board with what we've done and is pleased as thought the old system was unfair.

Which is funny as he knew every trick in the book to max his bonus!

Yes Hot we always expected and want to be challenged we don't mind being criticised.

I/We don't let it get to us although we are still human.

What concerns me is the continued escalation and that it seems to be not stopping so normally do your survey have good/bad feedback then that is it but these seem to keep on going.

I would not hesitate to issue a formal warning and follow it up with bullying or abusive behaviour. Appreciate its anonymous here so harder, you may have to reset feedback so you can see who’s sent it, and explain you won’t publish or actually see anyones name but the abuse coming through it is in breach of contracts and you can’t let it continue. You will see no employee names unless the communication is in breach of employment, in which case you will be asking IT /whoever is in this position, for the name.

I think printing them would also galvanise these guys, like "fuck there's others that think the same as me FREEEEEDOM!, definitely doing the right thing here". It would only encourage them. If the change in bonus structure was fully above board and legal, then who the hell are they to demand a meeting? Publicise the positives of the change in the newsletter which will prevent a small number's discontent bleeding over into the rest of the workforce.

I would reiterate a company wide dignity and respect policy (maybe not the right term but you know what I mean), highlighting the penalties for abuse etc towards co-workers and staff. Then start coming down hard. If these guys are behaving like this to their superiors, imagine what they're like to peers or junior staff when there's no supervision? Your business has outgrown this culture, it's time to move on. Get an HR consultant in if you need to to guide this process.

They're already calling you a hard faced bitch behind your back, so might as well give them a reason for it.

(Also mentally take "luckily" off the start of that paragraph about the govt contract. It wasn't luck, it was hard work, preparation and enterprise that got you that.)

I think i would meet them as a group actually, but with the whole leadership team by your side. And i would probably have all staff there, as sometimes having more moderate voices can be effective at tackling the hard liners. You might want to prep a few friendly faces to pipe up with their view points.

You then show an absolutely united front. If any of their complaints are reasonable then listen and respond, if its all nonsense then hold a fair but firm line. And then manage the shit out of them.

I would say that anonymous feedback wont be considered going forward as this as been abused by individuals posting offensive material. (I don't think you should publish the stuff you have received) All feedback must now be in name.

If you don't have one, implement a dignity and respect at work policy as the poster above said. This is how to make it crystal clear what constitutes unreasonable behaviour and how it will be sanctioned.

Good luck and kick ass!

Thank you TheCraic and yes you are right regards the grant it was me on my own at the time that did all the work and also all the work to get more. We've actually nearly used it all and done the changes it recommended. Apparently we are the only ones to have carried on during the pandemic out of 100 odd recipients.

Thank you justcameout wise words.

I've already got my big girl pants on had them on for some time so perhaps time to put my big girl safety shoes on and do some dinosaur like stomping after I've finished hording those rights

I don’t think you should take action on an annonymous survey. The point of it is so that people can say the stuff they are feeling. I’d be pissed off if my employer said a survey was annonymous, then published extracts or contacted me personally about things (unless this was specified in the wording of the survey/feedback).

If you want more specific follow up, you can always say that people can arrange meetings with line manager for specific issues.

You don’t have to cave though. I would ignore and press forward with training/upskilling. Promote those who respond positively and become more productive. I’m really junior though, so don’t hold any managerial role.

Another female leader (not in a family business, mind, complete opposite) in a male dominated world here:

Yes, women most certainly do get a harder time. My personal highlight was a (not anonymous at all) 5-page screed accusing me of, in summary, being the evilest human in the history of the species and surmising that I was probably personally responsible for the Black Death and Eve eating the apple, too. How come? I'd had the gall to let him know his arrongance and refusal to follow directions were not working for me. It was deeply personal and just screamed "narcissistic rage".

So, I feel you, OP.

Having said that: I strongly advise against any such measures as publishing excerpts, etc. It would read "flailing" and "petty" to me. Rise above it!

Similarly, I'm not a great fan of any (even generalised) "woe me - the management" style communication.

Just be clear, polite but no more than that, and very broad about it instead:

Personal attacks and bullying against any member of staff will be taken seriously, will be followed-up upon, and may lead to disciplinary measures up to and including dismissal. - doesn't matter if the victim is the CEO or the intern.

However, I do like the suggestion by a PP of actually agreeing to a group meeting - but including a wider group of management, too!

In general, have you considered getting a little outside support for yourself? There are some very decent consultancies out there that deal with organisational culture and change, specifically. And, no, I'm not talking BCG or even Deloitte - but lots of smaller, less expensive firms do some stellar work! Aside from the outside view and additional expertise that professional services firms typically sell, there's one nice side benefit: they make great shock absorbers and designated bad guys and, if used well, can hence also help protect internal relationships within a firm. Might be worth a shot to just get somebody in for a couple of weeks to help you out.

Addition, again, woman-specific: women, in general and specifically in male dominated industries, have a much, much harder time pulling off the "top-down, imposing, I'm the boss" style.

I know a few women - myself included to some extent - who fall into the "what she says goes" category. But what all have had in common is that the outward style has never been "I'm the boss, deal with it!".

Personally (and I'm not the greatest leader out there), I regard it as my greatest professional asset that I get my people to walk straight into the Mouth of Hell alongside me. But I manage that by inspiring loyalty and respect - which I get by showing them the same.

Some men may get away with a very authoritarian style - personally, I don't work for such bosses, men or women! But in my experience, it's almost impossible for women to pull it off. That's sexist, yes, but it's also reality! And I don't even actually see why women should aspire to the same piss-poor leadership styles that we hate in our own male superiors.

Thanks Namenic yes I've decided publishing extracts is a bad idea and will give them power
Also yes the anonymous part it isn't really fair. I said it because I was thinking about it but then the more I thought and discussed it the more I thought no.

People are always the hardest part of any job anywhere!

Somany love your post I'm sure I'm probably equally responsible for the plague. Actually we have had that, this same group are complaining about things that the d leadership team did that no one in my team were involved in or sometimes even knew about.
Having chatted to some of the other women who are now in the leadership team with me we all recognise the tone and rage that is only reserved for women. It's weird as the men in the team haven't recognised that under current but then I suppose they've not been no the receiving end of multiple little interactions similar to this.

The grant I mentioned has given us access to top class support at a discounted rate the consultancy team we are working with are brilliant 100% behind us and used by big international companies.

We realised that we've not been spending enough te controlling this particular site as it's small and was making the right noises. All the other sites have had to have some level of line in the sand drawn with disciplinaries for poor behaviour, so we are just about to start the stamping down on this site today so I should get off MN and 🦕🦕🦕

What a good thread. Dismantling a toxic culture is so stressful and getting that balance right between allowing open discussion while minimising opportunities for community disruptors to sabotage is a challenge.
In my experience if the leadership is coherent, supportive and makes rational fair decisions it's much harder for the disruptors to have too much agency as their complaints don't match other staff's real experience. Keep the majority onside with ethical management while giving disrupters the choice to either join in with the collective efforts of the majority or accept that that this isn't where they want to work.

The grant I mentioned has given us access to top class support at a discounted rate the consultancy team we are working with are brilliant 100% behind us and used by big international companies.

do they also do change management type workshops? they can be really useful in terms of getting employees on board, and managing out those who don't fit the new culture.

Yes Brefugee they do and I've made sure that not only the SLT but the junior leadership team have had coaching and we run regular sessions supporting them and discussing scenarios.

MrsOvertons thanks and yes I find it interesting and an amazing opportunity I actually really enjoy it.

News flash we've started an internal investigation initial discussions have found that some people's names have been added to letters without their consent 😲 actually I had my suspicions. I would personally be livid if someone did that to me.