Is anyone else struggling with the obvious unfairness of this issue

[Fariha31]

I am begining to find the obvious unfairness of how woman are being treated, combined with the seemingly universality of the voices going along with it, is begining to affect my mental health?
I dont know if its triggering things from my past or if its just the insanity of this moment but I am wondering how other people are copping with all this?

@JustSpeculation interesting question. I suppose I've always thought of it as a continuum with man and woman on opposite ends, with variations in between but that then puts me in mind of that awful Mermaids 'Gender Spectrum' with a Barbie on one side and a GI Joe on the other.

I suppose I think of it in a similar way to the 'political spectrum' of left and right wing but I've also seen it it illustrated as a kind of Venn diagram, with intersecting areas.

Hmm, you've made me properly think about it!

You’re not alone. I feel rage and despair, but then I realise that the vast majority know that gender ideology is rubbish and that helps.

I'm so, so fucked off about unelected Carrie Johnson turning up at the Tory Conference with the odious Crispin 'Back Room Deal' Blunt and Stonewall CEO Nancy Kelley, to talk - apparently on behalf of her husband, she suggested - about areas of policy.

Crispin Blunt was absolutely vile to Liz Truss in the House of Commons when she announced that self-ID was on hold and not going ahead. Stonewall and its fans went into spasms. Blunt accused Truss of ignoring a done deal already worked out behind the scenes (which was grimly fascinating); and then of being incompetent.

But Truss appears to be supported by Johnson, being promoted in the Cabinet reshuffle to one of the great offices of state, and keeping the Women & Equalities portfolio too.

What are the Tories up to? What's Boris Johnson's real thinking on this? How dangerous is Carrie Johnson, whether wittingly or unwittingly, as she hints she has the PM's ear? Was she playing Blunt and Kelley, talking of 'extending' rights? Or is she playing us, while we put our trust in Truss? What did she even mean with her remarks on banning conversation therapy? What sorts, for which children? Banning psychological therapies for distressed children, maybe? Is she an expert?

And what do I need to worry about now? Fuck's sake.

SpindleWhirl, replying belatedly to your query upthread - yes, I’m a retired hospital doctor.
And your point about the relative epidemic of young girls wanting to transition - I think any young girl growing up today, looking at porn damaged boys and the rape culture in schools, the demands for sexts, the expectation of choking and anal rape in sexual relationships, could be forgiven for wanting no part of being a woman.
Who in their right mind would cheerfully identify with such a vile picture of womanhood as sex toy and victim? I think they feel that, if they can’t sign up to that, they must really be transboys. And there is a whole industry and bandwagon cheerleading them aboard.

Fariha, don’t lose hope. I agree with others here who (like me) recall the 1970s. It was a more sexist time, but people were open to change. And we did change things! So radically, and wonderfully.

Women’s Liberation led the way, but we were struggling against old-fashioned attitudes, and society in general was open to progress. There wasn’t some powerful male-supremacist lobby actively working to abolish the rights we already had.

Genderism got a powerful start, because its supporters presented it as a harmless offshoot of gay rights. We’re already seeing the pushback, as people start to realise genderism isn’t at all harmless.

It is horrific to see misogyny so triumphant at present. But remember how often things have been worse, eg suffragettes being beaten up in the streets and force-fed in prison. Always, the madness eventually dies down. Common decency reasserts itself. We make progress again.

It's the sheer Orwellian nature of the times that is disturbing. There'll be a story in a newspaper about a woman who was randomly murdered by a man - random in the sense that there was no personal motivation behind the murder, but not random in the sense that had a man been walking down that same street he was as likely to be murdered by the killer as a woman - and then further down the page will be an opinion piece stating that nobody can tell a woman from a man, that male sex-offenders in women-only spaces are, in fact, victims of bigotry, that women are privileged to be women and full of hatred for men, that women's fears of male violence are moral panic. Worst of all, anyone who objects to this woman-hating ideology risks being sacked, rendered unemployable, vilified on a worldwide scale and prosecuted.

I think this feels scary because it's giving us a small taste of totalitarianism and the people who most ardently believe in gender ideology - for whom the Cultural Revolution, Year Zero and Stalinism aren't even a memory, just things in books they've never read - aren't just going to be indoctrinated crazies on Twitter in the near future, they'll be the people running everything. It feels like if it's not stopped now this is just a hint of how bad things will be for women, lesbians and gay men in times to come.

Me too. I am terrified for my daughter. For my son too, but I have never been so concerned about the rights of females.

I think women saying no collectively is worth it.

I do it for me but also dd and ds too actually.

Also as I heard there had been an arrest for SM hate crime? A footballer (which is good)

Not sure of detail why people like JKR had no recourse for hate crime against her on same platform.

Or did she maybe I missed it

It's affecting my mental health too. When Facebook went down I could feel myself relax. When it came back up, the first post on my timeline was someone ranting about TERFs.

I'm autistic and in a woke political party so my social media is full of debates about gender. It's hard to escape it.

Not had time to rtft, just wanted to offer and thought this thread might be of use:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/a4190873-Im-just-angry-all-the-time-anyone-else?msgid=105522393#105522393

Also what helps is making connections with other women and feminists. I've honestly met some of the most best people over the years due to this shitshow. The bravest, kindest, most indefatigable, intelligent and thoughtful people ever.

Obvs not talking about any of the horrible vipers on here, who are all completely beyond the pale, of course.

Common decency reasserts itself.

My first reaction to reading that was to ask, "for whom"?

Domestic violence and abuse is common. I have no idea of the figures but a look around MN or a chat with friends indicates that very few single parents receive a reliable Child Maintenance Payment without a struggle.

Bullying and sexual harassment in schools and workplaces is common.

I wonder who is served by this decency? Does the benefit of this 'decency' accrue to those who get the benefit of a blind eye to their behaviour and the consequences of it?

The odd win helps, every organisation leaving the Stonewall diversity scheme cheers me up

Yes this really affected me. 3 years ago when no one really got it - except the 'feminists' in the know it sent me to the verge of a breakdown.

After a social media attack on another platform for voicing my views and a hacking attack affecting all my online presences and devices - it actually sent my into a full blown psychotic breakdown.

I lost complete touch with reality and was scared, frightened, felt I was living in another world - well I was - my brain could not cope with the cognitive dissonance and when combined with stress and a virtual but still real life attack (even though not physical); I absolutely could not see the woods for the trees.

The line between reality and fiction was blown. I was sectioned for 30 days. I subsequently lost my job because I was in the middle of changing jobs so no rights.

It really fucked me up for a whole year until I got back on track.

Now I am quite pragmatic about it. I can absolutely see how major social tragedies in history happened - like the Nazis. Because I will not EVER put myself at risk again fighting in the minority if the world/ society is stupid enough to decide it wants to deliberately and/or sleep walk itself to hell in a handbasket - regardless of the reason or severity.

So look after yourself first and foremost. This is not right, its not sustainable and it will all come out in the wash eventually

Oh my word, Lemon. What a traumatic time. I'm so sorry. Hope you are completely well again now.

“I'm so, so fucked off about unelected Carrie Johnson turning up at the Tory Conference with the odious Crispin 'Back Room Deal' Blunt and Stonewall CEO Nancy Kelley, to talk - apparently on behalf of her husband, she suggested - about areas of policy.”

I totally agree - WTAF is she DOING?

So look after yourself first and foremost.

Excellent advice. I'm sorry you've been through so much with this.

[quote PowerNap]@WitchButNotTheFunKind thank you It genuinely gives me hope for humanity to know that there are people who can see through it.[/quote]
Powernap it was absolutely appalling.

I grew up went to school and have lived pretty much all my life in a London borough with a v large Jewish population. It is unfathomable to me antisemitism full stop.

And labour. Just FAILED. For so long.. On the rampant antisemitism in the party. It was disgusting.

I know that loads of Jewish people in this area have been staunch labour supports for years. And going back through the decades and different generations.

And they just. Didn't see them as important? Assumed they would continue voting labour even with all that?

Taken for granted.

Women. Taken for granted.

The large numbers of traditional labour voters. All over the country.

Thinking well I can't relate to what they do and say at all any more.

Taken for granted.

Arrogance. And.

Generalisations coming- obv doesn't apply across the board!

When right wing people - the ones that are of the current govt type. Do shitty things. They know they are doing it.. I'm sure they rationalise it to themselves one way or another. Or just don't care. But they are not oblivious to what they say and do.

So many on the left are utterly blindingly incapable of even wondering for a split second if they may not be looking at things fully. May not be 100% right on every single view they hold. They are clear sighted, their thinking is fully thought through and they know all about it. Etc.
They are goodies always. They by definition cannot miss something or get anything wrong.
Anyone who disagrees on anything, or points out that the party are fucking up somewhere. Is a baddie. Wrong. Ill informed, don't understand properly, incapable of understanding properly. Maybe. Could well just be a terrible person.

And so with their total belief in their own opinions on any and all topics. Even in areas where they have never and can never get it like those is affects. They are right and that is it. People in those groups that say what about this and that and this is rubbish etc. What do they know? I know best. Those who make a fuss can and should be ignored.

And they DO NOT DOUBT THIS EVER. NO MATTER WHAT.

And that is a really serious problem for them.

@RealhousewifeofBarnardCastle

“I'm so, so fucked off about unelected Carrie Johnson turning up at the Tory Conference with the odious Crispin 'Back Room Deal' Blunt and Stonewall CEO Nancy Kelley, to talk - apparently on behalf of her husband, she suggested - about areas of policy.”

I totally agree - WTAF is she DOING?

Don't be fucked off with her. I mean sure if you want but imo mistake to think it was all her.

It was strategic.

Hold on I'll get what I wrote on another thread...

Here's what I think.

And if that's how it was it is even worse really.

'
I note-

1. Not elected so her speech can't be taken as from a Tory representative etc. Just an individual

1. Also no expectation/ obligation etc to discuss, answer questions or challenges. Not going to be interviewed on Andrew Marr etc. And no expectation to do so. As not a politician.

1. When it's this topic it's often a woman put forward. For a number of reasons.

It's women who don't like it she's one and in favour. So those saying bad for women, other women are in favour.

Women are the sex seen as nice, kind. Also this sort of thing is usually seen as 'women's issues' anyway. Here she will be taken by men in general to be addressing women. Being nice and caring is their thing. Nothing to do with us. Auto switch off.

Trying to leverage female be kind socialisation.
...

It's a carefully thought out approach, her doing this speech.

Yep very interesting.'

Och lemon. Sorry for you ❤️❤️❤️

This sums i5 up for me and I guess everyone else. Even the liars

ArabellaScott
EmbarrassingAdmissions

Thanks both, I am luckily completely well now and hopefully will stay that way.

And dont be sorry. It was traumatic but in an ironic way it was honestly the making of me. When everything in your life falls apart you have a unique opportunity to rebuild it and I certainly made the most of that. Very happy with where I am now