Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Unisex toilets in secondary school

54 replies

CherryAndAlmond · 05/10/2021 17:56

DS14 has just informed me that all the toilets in his school were switched to unisex over the summer holidays. Is this a common thing in secondary schools now? What I'm concerned about, aside from the obvious, is that parents were not consulted or informed. How do I raise this with the school, and is it even worth it? Thanks.

OP posts:
Jaysmith71 · 05/10/2021 18:00

Teenage boys in the cubicle next to teenage girls? Really? Really, Really?

These people couldn't be trusted with the school hamster at half-term. They'd put it in with the ferret in case it felt lonely.

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/singlesextoiletsfactsheet.pdf

thelastgoldeneagle · 05/10/2021 18:12

That's a really helpful fact sheet, @Jaysmith71!

LaBellina · 05/10/2021 18:16

I would be very very concerned about how seriously this school is about safeguarding for making toilets unisex in the first place but not even mentioning it to parents is really taking it to the next level, apparently they didn’t even consider it might be a safe guarding concern. This wouldn’t sit right with me at all!

MarshmallowSwede · 05/10/2021 18:25

What a great way to encourage sex at school! Have they ever been around any teenagers?

They don’t even have to sneak and hide to go into the toilets together anymore. They just go right in and screw in the toilets and back to chemistry class before anyone notices.

I hope they are at least supplying condoms in toilets. This is a recipe for disaster… and not only because of the consensual sex that’s going to happen. There’s so many reasons why a teenage girl would want a woman’s only bathroom.

I would have been mortified as a teen being on my period and having to change my tampon with boys in the bathroom.

Jaysmith71 · 05/10/2021 18:31

Blimey MM, what school did you go to?

But did they do this without mentioning it to parents because they thought it was nothing, or because they knew it was a big thing and wanted it to be a fait accomplis before anyone raised any objection?

Local Paper needs to hear about this, then watch them back-flip.

Original poster
CherryAndAlmond · 05/10/2021 18:41

That's my thinking, Jaysmith71. They wanted it to be a done deal. And thanks for that link - very helpful for my next move.

When DS told me about it, he referred to them as 'non-binary' toilets Confused. Apparently they've removed the door between the corridor and the toilets (and the urinals of course) which must be their idea of addressing any safety concerns.

OP posts:
kittenkipping · 05/10/2021 18:50

Not just mm- 100% at my school there'd have been sex in unisex toilets. But regardless of the sex I pity those poor girls. Have you been on a bus with a group of teenage boys? They can be pack like, aggressive and certainly very happy to upskirt, taunt and terrorise. I live in a poor area, with social issues , so perhaps my view is skewed. But a unisex toilet would be carnage where I came from and having asked my 13yo daughter would be the same in her school now ( a few miles down from where I went , in a posher area- but still the rougher end of the world compared to most on mn) they can't stop students smoking in toilets ffs.

Sexnotgender · 05/10/2021 18:55

Mixed sex toilets are absolutely not acceptable. Please raise it with the school.

Several other schools have tried this nonsense and reverted back to single sex after parents intervened.

Jaysmith71 · 05/10/2021 18:59

Boys at my old alma would be standing on the seats and saying cheery hello to any girls next door. And I suppose now there would be cameras under doors. But that would be the limit.

(Surrey Stockbroker Belt)

And I like to think there would be a petition against it, with the mortified silent majority signing up.

MarshmallowSwede · 05/10/2021 19:00

So another question about the urinals? Are they now covered or just out in the open? So the girls have to deal with urinals out in the open also?

This is just a recipe for disaster. I would complain about it.

PricklesTheHedgehog · 05/10/2021 19:02

Not progress at all. Which area is the school in?

Jaysmith71 · 05/10/2021 19:02

And sanitary bins. No teenage boy is going to resist the tempation to go lucky dip for something to throw at Miss in Double Geography.

SirSamuelVimes · 05/10/2021 19:04

One rape a day in schools in the UK. One a day. And they think this will help??

Original poster
CherryAndAlmond · 05/10/2021 19:13

They've removed the urinals, Marshmallow.

Prickles, it's Norfolk. Semi-rural. Large mixed comprehensive.

OP posts:
katemuff · 05/10/2021 19:16

ffs as if teenage girls haven't got enough crap to put up with - now they can't even take a shit in peace

FlowerArranger · 05/10/2021 19:22

I am so, so angry to hear about this. Unbelievable. What were they thinking.

I hope both parents and pupils will do whatever it takes to overturn this.

PostingForTheFirstTime · 05/10/2021 19:22

When I was growing up in the 1960s/1970s it was a thing with the boys to banter on the school bus and elsewhere obsessively in front of us girls about jammy rags/who was on the rag. The thought of having to share toilet facilities with them while changing my ST would have been enough for me to have tried to stay home one week in four.

Are boys these days any better?

Mixed-sex toilets at schools beyond age 9 are a huge cruelty to girls trying to handle the messy business of menstruation.

Epli · 05/10/2021 19:29

I don't get it - why not making one toilet room with 2-3 cubicles gender neutral and then have sex segregated ones? I believe this is how it is in Tate Modern - majority of toilets are sex segregated but there are some gender neutral (which are also used by parents with kids of opposite sex too small to go on their own)

Dwrcegin · 05/10/2021 19:30

We have them in our local secondary. Boys toilets are generally disgusting, now they treat the unisex toilets the same.
Difficult for girls to use them at all.

Are there any teachers who have unisex toilets or are they just foisted on children?

Thelnebriati · 05/10/2021 19:36

Their design does not meet the legal standard for school toilets.

Page 5;
Toilet and washing facilities
ISS Regulation 23A — (1) Subject to sub-paragraph (2), the standard in this paragraph is met if the proprietor ensures that—
b) separate toilet facilities for boys and girls aged 8 years or over are provided except where the toilet facility is provided in a room that can be secured from the inside and that is intended for use by one pupil at a time
assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/410294/Advice_on_standards_for_school_premises.pdf

Sexnotgender · 05/10/2021 19:40

Are boys these days any better?

No.

LongBlobson · 05/10/2021 19:41

Similar just happened at our secondary - came back after the summer and got an email saying some of the toilets were being made gender neutral as phase one of a plan to make them all gender neutral.

No consultation with parents or students (apart from the students who had requested it).

All students to be educated about the need for this and how they had to be kind and inclusive.

Many parents and students were up in arms about it, someone went to the local paper, and I imagine I was not the only one to email the school.
After a couple of days the school backed down - following feedback from parents and students - and said they would just make a couple of blocks gender neutral.

Arrowheart · 05/10/2021 19:48

Complain Complain Complain. Then complain again. This is disgraceful. I despair at whoever thought this was a good idea.

FlowerArranger · 05/10/2021 19:51

Many parents and students were up in arms about it, someone went to the local paper, and I imagine I was not the only one to email the school. After a couple of days the school backed down - following feedback from parents and students - and said they would just make a couple of blocks gender neutral

Good to hear. I hope all parents at schools where they consider or implement this nonsense take up (virtual/figurative) arms.

FlyingOink · 05/10/2021 19:51

It's illegal. Whatever the local paper reports, make sure they emphasise that it's illegal. Then crowd fund and sue.