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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Weird situation

57 replies

893confused · 28/09/2021 14:26

I tutor some primary school siblings online. Have done for ages. They've just told me that their dad is transgender and likes wearing girls' school uniform, including to work. But uses "he" pronouns with family because the grandparents don't know.
I feel a bit weird about this. Transgender - ok. But why girls' school uniform? He's a middle-aged man.

OP posts:
MidsomerMurmurs · 28/09/2021 15:27

@893confused

Maybe LaRobeRouge is American, and is objecting to the -c in "practice".
Off the top of my head, I think US English uses the “c” spelling for both noun and verb, so I don’t think it’s that.
LetsHaveCake · 28/09/2021 15:39

This strikes me as a safe guarding issue abd should be raised.

Fariha31 · 28/09/2021 15:52

Japinese school girl uniforms are used alot in porn.
Presumerbly thats where he got the idea from.
How does the mum seem? does she seem the type to protect her kids?

Fariha31 · 28/09/2021 15:58

Because if not I would be giving social services a ring.

Fariha31 · 28/09/2021 15:59

And Id be prity open to the family about why too.

Original poster
893confused · 28/09/2021 16:20

The mum seems ok, and the girls seem ok and are chatty. A bit obsessed with video games and horror films, but I'm not sure how unusual that is. They were kept at home for a while after lockdown ended, but went back to school in the end.

OP posts:
Original poster
893confused · 28/09/2021 16:23

I wonder how SS would respond to a situation involving cross-dressing. Would it just be accepted as a perfectly normal thing now? Would they be scared to get involved with a family where cross-dressing was happening, in case they were accused of something? Would the person referring risk being accused of something?

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 28/09/2021 16:31

It's not so much the cross dressing per se, but the fact of an adult wearing a school girl's uniform. Especially when there are young girls in the house.

InvisibleDragon · 28/09/2021 16:34

Just cross dressing, or cross dressing as an adult around other adults is unlikely to raise any eyebrows at social services. The fact that he is dressing in (sexualised?) school girl outfits around his children is more concerning.

I would mention this to your line manager if you have one as a possible safeguarding concern and ask what to do next. If you are self employed, find the children's safeguarding webpage for the local authority where the children live and follow the steps to log a concern.

Nothing bad happens to the family if social services take a look and decide there is no issue; but if the children are at risk of harm it is better to raise the concern than to ignore it.

Original poster
893confused · 28/09/2021 16:44

I'll give this some thought but leave the thread and re-name now.

OP posts:
Imasoulman · 28/09/2021 17:56

I'm not, that's the last thing I would ever do. I grew up with a violent father, I'm well aware of the importance of safeguarding.

I just get the feeling this isn't genuine, that's just my opinion nothing more

allmywhat · 28/09/2021 18:03

Sorry, I got deleted for suggesting that a grown adult male dressing in schoolgirl outfits is a fetish? WTF?

Is it because I used “he?” I don’t even remember if I did, but it’s pretty hard to remember to use female pronouns for a body with bollocks that is heavily involving xir daughters in xir pedophile-lite fetish. 🙄

CuriousaboutSamphire · 28/09/2021 18:13

@Imasoulman

I'm not, that's the last thing I would ever do. I grew up with a violent father, I'm well aware of the importance of safeguarding.

I just get the feeling this isn't genuine, that's just my opinion nothing more

The problem is that many women want to ask about this but all threads get the same response.

Ooh, troll

That's not true

Don't talk about AGP

Don't use the word fetish

Ah, we are taking this down as it does something someone doesn't like...

Every time.

So don't expect other posters to be anything other than exasperated!

Theunamedcat · 28/09/2021 18:22

Surely you have a safeguarding officer you can discuss this with?

OurMamInHavianas · 28/09/2021 22:38

@Imasoulman

I'm not, that's the last thing I would ever do. I grew up with a violent father, I'm well aware of the importance of safeguarding.

I just get the feeling this isn't genuine, that's just my opinion nothing more

But, if I recall correctly, since you are a biological man who cross dresses you have something of a vested interest in stopping people talking about potential unsavoury behaviours related to cross-dressing.

So your comment seemed rather concerning.

Cailleach1 · 28/09/2021 23:03

One wonders why the mere mention of many inappropriate or abusive ways in which some males get sexual thrills is denied, is being deodorised, or normalised?

Can anyone think of a way in which that is appropriate in a household around children?

Imasoulman · 29/09/2021 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Gncq · 29/09/2021 14:15

I have on many debates on this site tried to dis associate the fetish driven cross dressers from the the rest of the Trans community.

Yeah. In actual practice, I'm real life, actual real women who exist in real life DON'T have this privilege.
We literally can't tell who is a sexually motivated cross dresser and who is a man with gender dysphoria like Eddie Izzard. You seem to possess th

Gncq · 29/09/2021 14:16

.. this ability. Women as a class don't possess it.

Imasoulman · 29/09/2021 14:38

@Gncq

I have on many debates on this site tried to dis associate the fetish driven cross dressers from the the rest of the Trans community.

Yeah. In actual practice, I'm real life, actual real women who exist in real life DON'T have this privilege.
We literally can't tell who is a sexually motivated cross dresser and who is a man with gender dysphoria like Eddie Izzard. You seem to possess th

I don't understand what you mean by " privilege" in this context.

Of course it's impossible for anyone to be certain of another person's motivation just by looking at them.
That's why it's so harmful for everyone when anybody can claim the trans label.
Hence my constant support of safe single sex spaces.

Gottalife · 29/09/2021 14:38

" likes wearing girls' school uniform, including to work"

Well this isn't normal behaviour is it? Not by gender dysphoria standards anyway.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/09/2021 15:20

That's why it's so harmful for everyone when anybody can claim the trans label. Don't tell us. Take that to Stonewall et al!

If more transwomen did that then the constant battle between transwomen and women might actually devolve into a proper conversation.

You never know, socialisation being what it is, you might even get more women going back to nervously looking away and 'allowing' ranswomen into single sex, female spaces again!

But it isn't women who caused this debacle. It is the voice of transpeople, self proclaimed, loud and lobbying on YOUR behalf across the UK right now.

We can't stop it, though we won't stop trying. Maybe now you can see it is your turn - you, as an individual, as part of a group, YOU!

OurMamInHavianas · 29/09/2021 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

OurMamInHavianas · 29/09/2021 15:41

I’m not sure why my comment was deleted? For saying someone was troll hunting? Two of their troll hunting messages were deleted but not the third? Or for quoting a deleted post?