BBC article on voyeur masseur

[ArabellaScott]

'As a woman, you are always a little bit on edge if you are in a compromising or vulnerable position, especially when you're pregnant and you're naked and alone with a completely strange man. You are always going to be on the defensive.'

I didn't see a thread on this - article from a week ago, a pregnant woman who caught a masseuse secretly filming her (and, it transpired, around 900 other women).

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-58249002

Urgh.

I got a very woke male friend to see the problem only after he'd gone for a massage and had a male masseur instead of the usual female one, and had been shocked at how uncomfortable he was. I pointed out that was his first experience of feeling sexually vulnerable and he didn't like it. Women feel like that most of the time, and sadly like this woman, its because they usually have several experiences each of a male person taking advantage of their biology without bothering to consult them or worry about consent first.

The voyeur was a MALE person. He was a masseur, not a masseuse. Yet again, the sex offender in question is male (and tbf, not pretending to be a woman either).

So all the men she spoke to about it, whether her partner or police, basically said you're probably imagining it or he has an innocent explanation but her sister immediately said yes this is a big deal, report it.

excuse me whilst I roll my eyes back in my head at the disappointingly predictable gaslighting from the males.

As ever, her male partner suggested she was overreacting because of her pregnancy hormones, it was her sister who told her to phone the police.

The usual scenario of male dismissal - which is why so few of these vile men ever get caught.

Terrible initial response from the police, basically telling her to confront the perpetrator. How dare they congratulate themselves when they didn’t act until she complained about them.

The only reason they got him was because he admitted it, if he hadn’t admitted it, the police would have done nothing! Yet they pat themselves on the back at a job well done!
I am SO ANGRY after reading this article

Thanks for this link Arabella, dreadful story - just important to note for others this was a (male) masseur, not a (female) masseuse - I was actually confused by that till I read the article!

Same old male pattern sexual offending, of course. Same old reasons why women need safe spaces away from men. Same old reasons why “gender neutral” facilities are actually a risk for women. Men do this stuff, and they do it in significant enough numbers to make it something we have to take into account and safeguard against.

I’m also really angry about that quote from Det Insp Dave Savill, from Cambridgeshire Police, the force that investigated Roddis, saying that officers “put a lot of time and effort and expertise into this investigation and the result shows the merit of the work we've done".

When the fact is they didn’t believe her to start with, tried to suggest he could have had a legitimate reason to film his clients when he wasn’t eve in the room, suggested that she, as a pregnant woman, go and confront him herself, alone, and overall handled it so badly she left in tears and had to make a complaint before they took it at all seriously.

And when they did finally visit him and question him, during which time he had no doubt abused yet more women, he admitted everything immediately and handed over all his equipment without having to be pressured in any way.

I don’t see any signs of the “lot of time, effort and expertise” they supposedly put in, quite the opposite. The way he goes on to big up the amazing way they supposedly handle sexual offences, all the training they do blah blah, is just another example of the way so many institutions say all the right things while doing all the wrong things. If it weren’t for her persistence, this odious man would still be doing what he was doing and there would be even more than 900 victims by now.

The fact this detective doesn’t even credit her for her detective skills and courage in pursuing this, but is obviously only interested in trying to hide and minimise the fact his force didn’t deal with this properly at all initially, is actually quite disgusting. She’s the reason this predator was caught, not them. I am raging at this.

@MrsOvertonsWindow

As ever, her male partner suggested she was overreacting because of her pregnancy hormones, it was her sister who told her to phone the police.

The usual scenario of male dismissal - which is why so few of these vile men ever get caught.

Indeed!

They wanted her to go back and ask him why he was recording her?! Fucking hell

Mind boggling, isn’t it.

But: "Safeguarding victims and taking action against offenders is a top priority and we want victims to know we are committed to ensuring they will be listened to and supported."

So that’s alright then.

There was a thread on t'other side of the wall here - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feminism/4328984-Male-masseur-voyeurism-in-news-Shows-myths-depressingly?msgid=110201468

The self congratulatory police made me particularly furious.

Hi all, we are just popping into the thread to say we have changed the title of this to avoid any more confusion.

I started a thread it's fallen down the topic now but yes it's appalling. The police behaviour outrageous.

Oh, blimmin eck, sorry everyone, I had no idea 'masseur' and 'masseuse' were sexed terms, even. Thanks for sorting, MillieMumsnet.

Yes, that was the whole point ...

Maybe that's why my 'advanced search' didn't throw up any results, Gerbil!

The fact this detective doesn’t even credit her for her detective skills and courage in pursuing this, but is obviously only interested in trying to hide and minimise the fact his force didn’t deal with this properly at all initially, is actually quite disgusting.

Exactly. This woman was amazing - to have noticed, researched, reported, done all she could to bring a serious, serial criminal to book. And she was dismissed, repeatedly. Endangered, even! It's pretty shocking.

Masseur is the male type and masseuse is female. So would a female voyeur be a voyeuse ?

This woman was amazing - to have noticed, researched, reported, done all she could to bring a serious, serial criminal to book. And she was dismissed, repeatedly. Endangered, even! It's pretty shocking.

I know. It was so astute of her, at at time when she was vulnerable, and should have been able to let her guard down.

When I called the masseur, Roddis, I was initially a little bit apprehensive because I realised it was a man, but I kind of thought: "No, it's the 21st Century, it'll be fine, I'll go for it."

This is really sad and it’s what we’re up against all the time, isn’t it. Female socialisation. Women dismissing their own actually very well-founded fears and concerns. Overriding our instincts, because it’s not kind to men to be suspicious of them.

I have to ask WTF the BIL was doing getting her a voucher for a massage with a man. Especially when she was pregnant and already anxious. And why the BIL anyway - why not her DSis or DH? Weird. But anyway. She did a brilliant thing, and should feel proud of herself, and should have been acknowledged by the police for her actions.

Instead she now feels guilty for having alerted his other victims to his abuse, and the consequent trauma they’ve suffered, as if she’s in any way to blame. Which is another thing that’s so sad and wrong about this case. Sounds to me like she could really use some professional support herself, shame the police aren’t linking victims of sexual crime up to that kind of service instead of patting themselves on the back about what a great job they didn’t actually do.

Might not have known the sex of the massage-person, Talking?

I booked a massage at a clinic years ago, turned up and it was a bloke - actually, someone I went to school with. It was fine, but yes, dynamic somewhat different from that with a woman. Clinic hadn't said who it would be - up until then had always been women.

Quite right about the guilt, that's really unfortunate and unfair. She has potentially saved hundreds of women from further abuse.

@pheebumbalatti

Masseur is the male type and masseuse is female. So would a female voyeur be a voyeuse ?

Jaysus, just to note that idly googling 'voyeuse' is maybe not a good idea. I was looking for etymology.

Might not have known the sex of the massage-person, Talking?

I dunno, it sounded like the voucher was specific for this man, not like she could have chosen from others when she rang up to book. But yeah, we can’t know really.

I just wish women felt entitled to say no, I don’t want to see a man for something like this. This is what we should be teaching girls in school, not all the boundary eroding misogynistic bollocks. This is what should be on the PSHE curriculum, teaching them they’re entitled to ask for what makes them feel comfortable. And teaching boys to bloody well respect that.

She pushed aside her doubts about a man massaging as she didn't want to be sexist etc.

Let me find the other thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feminism/4328984-Male-masseur-voyeurism-in-news-Shows-myths-depressingly

Thanks, Gerbil.

So - masseur is male, masseuse is female. Voyeur is male, voyeuse is female then. No? Does the word 'voyeuse' not exist in English usage? I wonder why that might be.

Thanks, Gerbil.