Teaching children to recognise the sex of individuals

[AntiHumbug]

I am a TA in a Special Needs Unit, 1:1 supporting children with ASD. I work in KS1. How do I teach children to recognise and differentiate between girls and boys, and use pronouns correctly, without resorting to stereotypes?

How have you done it previously?

Do you need to?

@ArabellaScott

Do you need to?

Is language important? Do words have meaning? Do autistic children need safeguarding?

What do you mean by using pronouns correctly?

@AssassinatedBeauty

How have you done it previously?

Using stereotypes!

Sex ed is not part of my remit, so unless the child tells me (and some do) that boys have willie's and girls have different bits, this never gets mentioned. In any case, green goals are not helpful when learning to describe Wilma as 'she' and Kipper as 'he'. Or their own classmates.

I would just model the language. If they say “she took my pen” you say “yes he took your pen.” Sometimes I qualify it by saying “Ben is a boy so we say he.” Very common in young children and some children who speak a different language at home. Lots of children think a girl is a boy or vice versa if they have short hair/long hair. I just say “Anne is a girl who has short hair” or “Terry is a boy. Some boys have long hair”.

DYAC

Sex ed is not part of my remit, so unless the child tells me (and some do) that boys have willies and girls have different bits, this never gets mentioned. In any case, genitals are not helpful when learning to describe Wilma as 'she' and Kipper as 'he'. Or their own classmates.

Wilma is a gir’s name. Kipper is Kipper. Most children say he for animals. I always say how do you know it’s a boy? It generates a discussion.

Well, for Biff, Chip and Kipper the clues will be in the text. Chip and Kipper are referred to as "he", Biff and Wilma as "she". For their classmates, use "he" or "she" if they know the child and know whether they are a boy or girl because they've said so. If they don't know, then use "they" until they get any further information.

Let’s not bring misgendering as an issue into KS1. He/she/it (for animals we don’t know the sex of) is fine. Adult modelling correct language and correcting misconceptions are bread and butter of teaching.

Can you clarify what you mean by "using pronouns correctly"?

Surely you mean using the pronouns that each student/teacher has requested they be referred to by? You don't intend to teach your students to misgender trans students/teachers, do you?

Wilma is a very uncommon name. Most children only encounter it in the ORT books. Like Kipper it will be gender-neutral to them.

Autistic children can have great difficulty generalising knowledge. The fact that Wilma is 'she' in the books, doesn't mean that they understand 'she' is a girl. Some things have to be implicitly taught over and over again.

I am working with under-7s. An age group where they are only just beginning to understand that sex is constant and not dependent upon clothing. The specific children I work with are even more immature.

The SALT gives me a pack of cue cards, generally photos and drawings, and tells me teach the child to use the appropriate pronouns through discussion of the pictures. (These pictures may be used for development of other language aspects as well.)

But young children are androgynous. All the visual cues are stereotypes.

Interesting question. Can I ask - is this something you find you need to do because the children you support are (and always would have been, even before the gender debate) because of their ASD, unable to differentiate between girls and boys, women and men in the way that most other children and adults are normally able to very well? Or is it something you need to do specifically because the current issues around gender, preferred pronouns etc are making this difficult for them?

And, yes, of course I model and reflect back appropriate language. That's definitely bread-and-butter!

It's because of their ASD. The current debate is what has made me aware that I use stereotypes to teach this.

yeahbutnaw

Using pronouns correctly can be hard for children with autism, even when referring to people who are not trans.

Most children learn without needing explicit teaching that Mr Jones is "he" and Emily is "she". But some children with autism find this harder. They might use "he" for everyone, or rely on an unreliable cue - like wearing a school summer dress - to distinguish boys and girls.

If explicit teaching is needed, it might require some fairly crude stereotypes at the beginning: Mr Jones has a beard so you can see he is a man and you say "he"; Emily is wearing a dress so she is a girl and you use "she". But it is important to teach this stuff, even if it seems a bit cringey - you don't want a vulnerable young person to be put at risk because they either inadvertently refer to a man with a female pronoun and get beaten up; or because they aren't able to recognise a dangerous situation. We teach young children not to get in a car with / accept food from / go off with a strange man as basic safeguarding. But that relies on being able to explain to a child which people are men and which are women.

@yeahbutnaw

Can you clarify what you mean by "using pronouns correctly"?

Surely you mean using the pronouns that each student/teacher has requested they be referred to by? You don't intend to teach your students to misgender trans students/teachers, do you?

What ? You think trying to get autistic children to recognise the nebulous “gender identity “ is more important than them understanding sex ?

@InvisibleDragon

yeahbutnaw

Using pronouns correctly can be hard for children with autism, even when referring to people who are not trans.

Most children learn without needing explicit teaching that Mr Jones is "he" and Emily is "she". But some children with autism find this harder. They might use "he" for everyone, or rely on an unreliable cue - like wearing a school summer dress - to distinguish boys and girls.

If explicit teaching is needed, it might require some fairly crude stereotypes at the beginning: Mr Jones has a beard so you can see he is a man and you say "he"; Emily is wearing a dress so she is a girl and you use "she". But it is important to teach this stuff, even if it seems a bit cringey - you don't want a vulnerable young person to be put at risk because they either inadvertently refer to a man with a female pronoun and get beaten up; or because they aren't able to recognise a dangerous situation. We teach young children not to get in a car with / accept food from / go off with a strange man as basic safeguarding. But that relies on being able to explain to a child which people are men and which are women.

That's fine.

But the phrasing made it unclear whether the OP wanted to teach their students to intentionally misgender trans people.

I just wanted to clarify that this isn't the case because it would be incredibly unethical.

@SirVixofVixHall You think it's ethical for a teacher to go rogue and teach children to intentionally misgender trans people?

That says a lot about your character.

But the phrasing made it unclear whether the OP wanted to teach their students to intentionally misgender trans people.

Olympic level jump in thinking here.

Please ignore the poster trying to derail the thread into a debate about trans ideology. It's their usual MO.

Go rogue ? Eh what now ?
You clearly have absolutely no experience of children with severe autism.

Stereotypes are stereotypes precisely because the vast majority of people conform to them. In general, stereotypes plus secondary sex characteristics are the main way we identify people, and in most cases we’ll be correct. I think that’s fine as long as you’re also highlighting that some people don’t conform and that’s ok too.

And yes it does say something about my character. It says I am not a twat.

Heading off to find my long lost cousin Bunbury.