Teaching children to recognise the sex of individuals

[AntiHumbug]

I am a TA in a Special Needs Unit, 1:1 supporting children with ASD. I work in KS1. How do I teach children to recognise and differentiate between girls and boys, and use pronouns correctly, without resorting to stereotypes?

@AntiHumbug

I am a TA in a Special Needs Unit, 1:1 supporting children with ASD. I work in KS1. How do I teach children to recognise and differentiate between girls and boys, and use pronouns correctly, without resorting to stereotypes?

Self identification as everyone already does, if the story refers to Wilma as she then that's her pronoun. If you want to get to a point where people are not gendered based on stereotypes then asking and self identification is the only way. Not sure? Ask what pronouns someone uses. Biff is stereotypically a "boys" name, but she uses she/her, great lesson for the kids. I also make sure my daughters know about non-binary people, some people's pronouns may be they/them as well as the more commonly used ones.

Feminism separates sex from stereotypes. I posted here because I am struggling to do so in my teaching.

Some posters seem to think this is about self-ID. It is not. This is about 5-6-7 years old children with specific educational needs. This is about teaching them to communicate in a world that they struggle to understand and that struggles to understand them. This is about clarity of language.

Maybe I need to post this in Staffroom or SN.

@AntiHumbug

It's because of their ASD. The current debate is what has made me aware that I use stereotypes to teach this.

I'm not sure the normal rules apply for teaching young children and children with autism about boys/girls and he/she. If it's a SALT specific activity with pictures then the boys/girls would have to be stereotypical looking for teaching about the pronouns. I am not sure there is a way around it. Well, I can't think of one atm.

However, the activities they are doing in the pictures can be mixed up. She is a doctor, astronaut/she is playing with construction, trains. He is dressing up as a princess/playing in the home corner. etc.

If I understand you correctly, the situation is something like this:

You: Can you read this?
Child: Wilma rode her bike to the park.
You:Well done:
Child:Did he ride it back again?
You:Did she ride it back again? Yes I think she did.
Child:Why is it she?
You: Because Wilma is a girl
Child:How can I tell?
You:?

Is that it?
If so - the answer is - for most people you know. If you don't know you can ask. If it is a picture the book might tell you. Most names a either usually for girls or usually for boys, but some are not. It is always OK to ask if you don't know.

Would that work?

OP, I just remembered that in the autumn term I have to do receptive language assessment on children and the pictures are very obviously stereotypically boys/girls in the pronouns pictures. At this stage of their development I think stereotyped pictures are needed because you have to start right from scratch.

OP, maybe it would be best to talk to people with training in this area - Rachel Rooney I think is both trained in educating kids with autism and has written beautiful poems that challenge stereotypes, so she might be someone you could ask?

The problem is that the way most people recognise the sex of others is intuitive - we're very very good at it but we're often using fairly subtle cues about physiognomy that are difficult to articulate. To quote Kevin Mitchell:

Male and female faces differ on a wide range of parameters – size of the jaw, prominence of the ridge over the eyebrows, fullness of the lips, size of the bridge of the nose, and others. For each of these parameters, there is not a male form and a female form – there is a distribution, which is shifted one way in males and the other way in females. None of these markers by itself provides the means to accurately classify faces as either male or female. But taking all of them together certainly does. We are all very good at telling whether a face is male or female and computer programs can also very successfully perform this classification. So, “male” faces and “female” faces are clearly real things, even though the differences in specific parameters between them are not dimorphic.

That's a good idea, Mermoose. Via Transgender Trend, or does she have a known MN account?

@AntiHumbug

That's a good idea, Mermoose. Via Transgender Trend, or does she have a known MN account?

Oh would you feedback here when you get a response please? I would like to know as well.

AntiHumbug I don't know the best way to contact her - maybe on Twitter or via her website? Or as you say via Transgender Trend - Stephanie Davies-Arai might be able to help too.

What a minute @AntiHumbug, the title of the thread is "teaching children to recognise the sex of individuals". I thought this was just about pronouns. As a parent I'd be very worried if a teacher was trying to get my kids to "sex" people, big red safeguarding flag there! I hope you don't think that is appropriate, sex=/=gender although colloquially they're often used interchangeably.

No idea why you think "Transgender Trend" would be good. They're an anti-trans group (one person, an ex-Sculptor with no professional education experience, except as a volunteer in a school poorly rated by Ofsted) - who gave illegal advice to schools to out trans kids, and in their latest booklet suggest teachers misgender trans kids. That would also be illegal harassment, so is shockingly bad advice.

I recommend you check what you are trying to teach. I think it more likely you are trying to teach grammar rather than human biology.

Children learn to identify sex as they grow and some with sensory process issues might take longer. I don't think you can teach sex recognition other than stereotypes so wouldn't bother.

As for grammar (regardless of what the obvious loons on here say). You don't have to have confirmation of sex. Pronouns are used in the third person. Once the child has decided FOR THEMSELVES the sex of the character then YOU TEACH which pronoun to apply.

Eg is X a girl/boy? How did you decide that? (they used she in text, I can see it, I don't know (can you make a guess)). Once the child has decided on the sex you can teach them the grammar rules.

FYI misgendering is not harrassment, gender theory is not orthodoxy and you shouldn't be teaching any ideology unless it is the govt agreed British values.

Despite the obsessives on this chat believers in gender ideology are a very small sect and don't reflect society.

Rachel Rooney is an experienced, respected educator and SEN specialist and Transgender Trend have very good resources.

My advice - laugh at the looney tunes, don't take them any more seriously than the flat earthers.

It's a great job you are doing.

No idea why you think "Transgender Trend" would be good

Transgender trend are an excellent resource.

@Erikrie

No idea why you think "Transgender Trend" would be good

Transgender trend are an excellent resource.

So their illegal advice to schools was good? I'm sure you'd be as forgiving if say Stonewall gave illegal advice? Or when Stephanie Davies-arai apologised for a campaign attempting to get cisgender kids to target trans kids at school, with divisive stickers, and had to apologise for it? www.buzzfeed.com/patrickstrudwick/the-group-behind-these-anti-trans-stickers-has-apologised

So their illegal advice to schools was good?

Their advice isn't illegal.

Ahh, stickers. Don't you like stickers? ☺️

Erikrie...Bunbury.

Interesting question.

Children don't have anything really when they're little to differentiate apart from genitals.

The cues are usually around stereotypical hair clothes likes.

I don't know why you need to teach them this though? Is it on the curriculum?

They will use the name and pronouns the child has been introduced by and are called by everyone else.

Given the age why do you need to go beyond that?

Teaching them that stereotypes are important and universal is not a good thing to do.

This looks interesting, OP.

www.speechandlanguagekids.com/5-steps-to-teach-he-and-she/

I suppose you could use lots of different pictures of people so avoiding the stereotyping?

It's not unusual for NT three-year olds to misgender their peers. If a child has long hair, they are assumed to be girls. It's not hateful, and not necesssarily something that has to be explicitly taught, but what I do is gently correct the error, by using the correct pronouns, or even stating, "That's Hamish, he's a boy", It's not a big deal when you're three. they make lots of assumptions, and are often wrong. Nobody minds, as they are little kids, learning to make sense of the world.

As a parent I'd be very worried if a teacher was trying to get my kids to "sex" people, big red safeguarding flag there! I hope you don't think that is appropriate, sex=/=gender although colloquially they're often used interchangeably.

Enabling children to recognise sex is not a 'big red safeguarding flag', indeed it is arguable that preventing/inhibiting children from correctly recognising sex would be the potential Safeguarding issue.
English third person singular pronouns (she, he, it) are taught to Primary aged children to indicate sex.
It is not age-appropriate to confuse children at this point in their literacy development with multiple gender identity neo-pronouns.

Kohlberg demonstrations by James of children's classification and language development stages:

They will use the name and pronouns the child has been introduced by and are called by everyone else.

Not necessarily. These children are autistic. Some also have learning disabilities.

Teaching them that stereotypes are important and universal is not a good thing to do.

I agree. Hence my dilemma.

The children I work with are not neurotypical. Their understanding of the world is often at the level of a 2 or 3 year old. Similarly their ability to communicate their understanding may be years behind their actual understanding. Things that neurotypical children learn by copying their peers and adults, autistic children often have to be taught explicitly.

'They will use the name and pronouns the child has been introduced by and are called by everyone else.

Not necessarily. These children are autistic. Some also have learning disabilities.'

For what reasons would they not use the ones used by everybody else?

And in the end, how much does that matter?

I teach children with asd in primary. A wide range of language abilities.

Some of my yr 6 are at the stage of a 1yr old in terms of expressive language and communication and some are reading Harry Potter, and can tell you all about it.

I do agree theres a conflict with how we refer to stereotypes and within the feminist issues with stereotypes.

However, at the lower cognitive levels of communication they and we do rely on stereotypes. Pronouns are an area of language that's much more complex and relies on a high level of social understanding.

Children working at a v low level aren't as aware of wider social implications of stereotypes. They also both tend not to have much interest in stereotypical clothing or styles for their own sex, and parents generally (here) dress them to be as comfortable and actually conforming as possible. Also due to that cognitive level have more freedom to choose toys they like.

A child who is beginning to communicate at a level where they may use he or she (often get it confused as my 3 yr old is at the moment) would have it modelled and would usually naturally learn that modelling. (But you find many avoid pronouns and use names as it is confusing)

I've never said "she is a girl because she has long hair." I've only said "she is a girl. So we say she."

In my experience anatomical differences are directly taught at yr 5 and 6 and the children have generally worked out who is a girl or boy, apart from the "core" groups.. But it can be confusing. A few believed a new TA was a man. We must keep clarifying for them.

We use the stereotypes till they're at an age/ stage where the stereotypes can be challenged and they can understand the difference between males and females. The Rachel Rooney book is perfect for that.

These children's worlds are small though and they usually only need to know/ are able to know the names of a few people familiar and close to them.,

This does however highlight how very vulnerable these children are are twisted language and confusing queer blurring of queer language.

I have a 3 year old who's not picking up on shes and hes. So we are working on just close family. I model he copies.

At the same time, if he says "only boys like trucks" (he's picking up bits from nursery) I challenge that; I'm a girl and I like trucks!

Repetition repetition, with people he knows in the moment. He's neurotypical so he'll get it eventually.

Some of he children I teach may not be ready access this level of contextual social language till secondary school, if ever.