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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Why are schools getting the blame for boys harassing girls?

84 replies

EastWestWhosBest · 10/06/2021 16:07

Surely we need to ask some very serious questions about how boys are being brought up and more to the point the accessibility of porn.

Girls asked for nudes by up to 11 boys a night, Ofsted finds www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-57411363

OP posts:
BettyFilous · 11/06/2021 05:28

Many parents seem to think its ok to give their children smart phones and internet access.

Hold up! We gave DS1 a mobile when he started high school as a safety measure. We were both working full-time and wanted him to be able to reach us in an emergency. DH disabled the browser but had to reinstall it within the first month of year 7 because the teachers were asking the kids to use their mobiles for research in class. DS2 grumbles that he burns through almost all of his monthly data allowance using it in class, as the school does not let the kids use the school’s wifi. Even if parents want to limit access, they may find their hand is forced.

WarOnWoman · 11/06/2021 07:01

@BettyFilous

Many parents seem to think its ok to give their children smart phones and internet access.

Hold up! We gave DS1 a mobile when he started high school as a safety measure. We were both working full-time and wanted him to be able to reach us in an emergency. DH disabled the browser but had to reinstall it within the first month of year 7 because the teachers were asking the kids to use their mobiles for research in class. DS2 grumbles that he burns through almost all of his monthly data allowance using it in class, as the school does not let the kids use the school’s wifi. Even if parents want to limit access, they may find their hand is forced.

WTF? That is wrong on all levels. Primarily on a safeguarding level. School WiFi has filters built into it and less likely to accidentally or deliberately to access iffy websites. You and the other parents could and should club together and let the school know that it's unacceptable. This is a school not taking safeguarding seriously.

My DCs school take their phones in form time and give them back at the end of the day. That is a much more sensible idea. Many schools do this.

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 11/06/2021 09:51

Betty, War is right, you absolutely need to raise this as a safe-guarding issue. School Wi-Fi is managed by either LA or academy trust IT in compliance with stringent policy on online safety, and is quite bullet-proof. Seems bizarre that your DC's school is so flagrantly flouting this very basic measure.

Triffid1 · 11/06/2021 10:06

Of course schools aren't the only problem, but they have a huge part to play in solving the issue. Not least that for most parents, we don't see boys in groups and the way they act. I see it with DS - him alone or him and a friend leads to different behaviour to him and a group of boys. But i don't invite groups over so when I'm interacting with him or his friends, it's in a smaller, less peer-pressure driven environment.

Also, parents don't take stuff seriously enough. DD is 6. She is always complaining about children touching her hair, touching her face where she has a mole, touching her clothes.... except it's not "children". It's the boys. How or why the boys see to think this is okay, I don't know. But I deeply suspect that if I mentioned it to their mothers there's a pretty good chance I'd get some version of, "Oh, he doesn't now any better" or "Ooh, I think he likes her" or whatever. Thank goodness, the school isn't okay with this and do have conversations with the boys. But I have to wonder how far that will go.

DD also told me that she wants to wear skirts because all the girls wear skirts. But she also wants to wear shorts under because the girls get laughed at when their knickers show. Again - I have never seen this behaviour because I'm not surrounded by bunches of children playing. The school needs to help to manage this and nip it in the bud right now.

TotorosCatBus · 11/06/2021 14:20

School Wi-fi is not "bullet proof". My kids and others at their school use a VPN to access social media via the school Wi-fi.

Bunnyfuller · 11/06/2021 14:31

If kids want to access stuff online - they will. They are way more savvy than parents and can generally bypass many controls.

When you watch your 13 yr old reconfigure your router so it doesn’t keep losing TV connection!

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 11/06/2021 14:35

What do people think of the CEASE campaign to restrict children's access to porn?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4267993-Protecting-kids-from-porn-new-legal-action

Thelnebriati · 11/06/2021 16:28

If its true that porn sites have mined children's data to target them, thats one of the most corrupt and cynical uses of data I can think of.

The porn industry has demonstrated over and over again that it cannot regulate itself and so cant be surprised at any consequenses.

PlantBasedWoman · 11/06/2021 19:16

@TotorosCatBus

School Wi-fi is not "bullet proof". My kids and others at their school use a VPN to access social media via the school Wi-fi.

Are the school aware of this? Have any parents told them? Again it's a safeguarding issue.

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